Hanging out, ready to sing some Blues

Friday, June 27, 2008


...I am a simple man with simple needs so that's all I am asking, please!

How we gonna race well feeling like this? Ugh...

It is going to be a long week on the road! Fan, do you have any magic cures for a sickly squad? The Stars and Stripes looks questionable now. I blame the Director for this!!!

Ahh, and we need to be in France soon. This does not look good at all!! What possibly could go wrong?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Feeling like ass but having a blast in Davis,WV

For the fan, whom likes to analysis our races and courses and such.
Tucker County Slug Fest Road Race
WV State Champs, Blackwater Death Marsh

The first weekend of the “pro-lyfe” two months ended with mixed results. For me it would be a mix of poor body, poor decisions and then pulling off a pretty good ride out of my butt. More to come on those butt issues. Here is the tale, fan….
The Tour De Tucker County West Virginia (RR): Fan, if you have never been to Davis, WV to ride you are truly missing out on one of the most beautiful but ass kicking places to ride on the east coast. Whether you prefer the dirt or the road I suggest you make the trip. Ok, enough PR and back to the race report. Betsy, Jackie, Gunnar and I headed out from Morgantown to actually arrive on time, amazing as that never happens. We began to climb the mountain up to the wind mills where Gunnar insisted the start was but no one was there. We were not that early, ooops, luckily we saw Nick W., a local and who clearly pays more attention to things so we followed him up the right mountain to get ready for this 50milish road race which included a boat load of climbing.
Race start-- GORGEOUS!!

Now I never mentioned it to the Director but I was actually contemplating sitting this one out. I felt extremely run down all week, my legs were sore to the touch and my HR was 10-15 beats higher then normal. But it was JR’s race, I did not want to hear the Director b*tch and I have raced before feeling like sh*t and ended up doing well so I figured why not. I knew however, as soon as we headed down the 4 mile descent to the starting line that I had made the wrong decision. I felt highly uncomfortable on the bike, my legs ached, I had a funky clammy sweat thing going on and I generally had little motivation. The Mohican and 24 Hours sapped a lot out of us, ok me.

Well off we went, it was a small field but with some heavy hitters. Sometimes on days you feel like crap you can often hide in the field but on this day I would be completely exposed to whatever was out there. Instantly it felt like I was paddling up stream with only a spoon. My breathing was labored, the legs felt like planks and I still was sweating some weird clammy sh*t. I made it up the first 4 mile climb but I knew the day was not going well, I felt like ass. We hit the second climb when Nick W. and Russ L. turned in the screws a little. It was at this moment I had to decide, jump on and bury myself for the weekend or sit up and enjoy the views. What to do, what to do? Well, I felt it would be most prudent and wise of me to sit up. I have a hard 2 months ahead of me and burying myself on this day made little sense as it could send me into the over trained abyss that is so hard to dig out of. I rode in alone and easy until the last 5 mile climb. There was no easy way to get up that thing. Gunnar had a good ride coming in 4th and Betsy won the ladies race and “girled” many boys including me. Good job team. I am bummed that I DNF’d, I would have preferred to be DFL but I think I made the right choice. The course and scenery were outstanding. Looking forward to next year.

gunnar after climbing nearly 7000 feet in 54 miles, with our Malaysian friend Larry in the background

SATURDAY NIGHT… gonna party like its your birthday…go shorty…what..

Speaking of right choices, Saturday night would be filled with plenty of wrong post/pre-race choices. See, fan, I took a 6-7 year hiatus from racing and I have made my return to racing this year on the single-speed. Now many know me from before as a West Virgin’eer kid but many that don’t think I am just another uptight roadie from DC that happens to know and travel with the Shogren’s. Well it is true I road race and I do live in DC now but I am far from uptight and my heart is still in the mountains. Also, fan, the single speed world is a sub-culture with in the sub-culture that is the cycling world: an iconoclastic bunch, that party harder, get rowdier and take themselves perhaps a little less serious, yet most of the top SS kids are some of the fastest out on the course. Why am I telling you this? …Well, the WV night club crew ( SS kids) were determined to take me out for a drink or ten on this night. Now after such a shitty road race I really did not feel like going out but I figured hey a few beers and home by midnight won’t be that bad, right? That’s what SS kids do.

WV Nightclub, plus poor Goose

So Johnny M, Chris P, Andy W ( 24HRS teammate), LB, Young Morgan M (WV29’er teammate) and I left the cabin we were all sharing for the booming metropolis of Davis and Thomas, WV. (The Shogren’s stayed behind) to hit The Purplefiddle for a reggae show. This place is pretty freaking cool. It was packed with some amazing people that felt shoes were to be the exception and hugs the rule. With the exception of wearing shoes I felt at home in this place, a little mountain oasis. I kept the drinking to a minimum and still believed I would be back at the cabin by midnight which would give me plenty of sleep for the 1pm start. The band was pretty kick ass. I wanted to get on the dance floor but rule # 37 in the pro-lyfe manual clearly states to stay off your feet any time you can (refer to Cycling-Dumb for a copy) so I did, however, the last song did require some booty shaking as the cute hippy girls were plentiful and their invitations to dance were to pleasant to pass up. If you ever find yourself in Thomas, WV…good people….
Check out: http://www.purplefiddle.com/
Ahh, it was mid-night and back in the car with young non-drinking Morgan M. behind the wheel. There was some talk about heading to another bar but it seemed as though every one was pretty ready to start thinking like bike racers again…until….the drummer from the reggae band a Rasta dude from Florida jumped in the back of the car, offered us a swig of whiskey and some other things for a ride up to the other bar. The crew got rowdy and agreed to his request. At this point I decided to embrace the night for what it was and to worry about racing later. It is about the ride not the result sometimes so I took a swig of whiskey and off to the next bar we went. We shared some drinks and chatted up some folks until the nice young lady from behind the bar yelled last call, ugh 2am. The boys ordered another round and I found myself on stage with the normally subdued Andy W. playing guitar while singing Jack Johnson and others tones. Boy did the hippie girls eat that up. I should have been a rock star!! Back to the cabin by 2:45am and in bed by 3am a perfect way to spend a pre-race evening. No regrets though, it was a great time, in some rad places, with some cool peep’s.
SUNDAY…a hung over race day
Needless to say I felt like ass while I was lining up with Sue H. to my left and Jeremiah B to my right, perfect, two Olympic hopefuls and I smell and feel like a wino, so pro, oh well. Well not surprising too, I was having all sorts of stomach issues mixed with all the same shitty feelings I had lining up for the road race on the previous day. I was not very hopeful with what the day was going to bring. Now this was the State champs so everyone from WV brought their A game. I am no longer a WV resident and unable to contend the state champ crown so I brought my B game but drank myself into D game status. My hopes for a good ride had diminished in a Rasta’s whiskey bottle the night before. My only goal for the day was to beat LB so I could regain the lead in the points as the overall is my goal and every thing else would be gravy. The State Champs was not my goal nor could I have it.
Time to get popping and off to the mud bogs….
We were off and running and I found myself in around 10th place as we began to hit the first of what would be hundreds of mud bogs, lakes, deadly water holes and the like. I was 2nd within the SS kids and my WV29’er Cannondale teammate Robbie Loehr was leading us, go Robbie. Much to my surprise I was riding well, say A- game. Sweet, I was pounding the pedals and I found myself slipping away with the leaders. Wow, I can party like a rock-star and still ride well (perhaps a new cycle-dumb training plan?) cool. I won’t try this again though. I did fall into a water hole and was completely submerged from head to toe. It was refreshing but a little scary too. I went back and fourth with Joey R. all day and I think I “scharted” twice luckily it was so wet and muddy no evidence was left. I rode hard and I was in the pain box all day. It was a good day. Oh, and I came in ahead of the WV nightclub crew that tried to sabotage my race with the drink. I think I earned my stripes, boyz.
Betsy 2nd (no smiles either--soul was crushed)
Gunnar 8th p/ex (off day for the Director)
Me, Chrissy 2nd SS 8th overall
…and we all are in 1st in points again, yippee!!


Man, that Blackwater is tough. I rode here for the first time in 1996 on a 30+ pound steel Paramount on suspension with about 1 inch of travel. We had cantilevers back then that lasted for about one mud bog. It was tough back then. We all ride sub 20 pound rides now with killer brakes and suspension yet that Blackwater can still kick your ass and it did. An epic in its truest form. Thanks Roger and Matt (Blackwater Bikes)--you put on a crusher.

Shoutouts and stuff:
- To my 29er Cannondale teammates that won the WV state champs in their respective classes: Robbie Loehr SS Champ, Matt Marcus Masters Champ, Jason Cyr Vet Champ and Betsy 1st pr/ex women. You all rock!!
- Roger and Matt of Blackwater Bikes for putting on an epic and allowing to us to loiter in the yard after the race until 9pm
- JR for putting on a kick ass road race and for quitting smoking, ehhmm!!!
- Uncle Rob V. and Cannondale
- The Miller’s and Phillip’s for letting us stay at the killer chateau
- The WV night club crew: good times and good racn’
- Betsy, Jackie and Gunnar
- To all that raced it was an epic and whether you are Olympic bound or out for the first time it was truly an epic for everyone…Good work!!!!

Happy Birthday Dr. Miller, DDS

I went into the weekend a little sick and came out sick which makes a perfect time for some R&R in NY at ma and pa McGill’s house, I may pedal some. Then off to OH for some crits and then KY for Road Nationals. As the lyfe continues…..
Results and pictures:
iPlayOutside Blackwater

Ride hard, take risk but be nice!!!! Peace Chrissy

Goose looks tired. Here he is bonking while trying to help Nars work on HIS bike. What a help...

Ahhh…and the Supreme Court dropped the ball on the Exxon Valdez case….idiots! back to the revolution comrades!!!!!

Friday, June 20, 2008

A labour of love, a passion for lyfe...

The Team Bi-atch gypsies are off and running for a whirlwind “Pro-lyfe” tour. Here is our itinerary for our FAN.
June 21-22: Double Header in Davis, WV. Davis is one of the sweetest places to ride but it can bite ya if you’re not careful(last year I napped on the “moon-rocks” for 30 minutes after blowing up sky high)
Saturday: What is slated to be a brutal 60+ mile road race.
Sunday: Blackwater Bikes WV MTB State Champs
I will run solo up to NY to visit the family and race Tuesday night.
June 28-29 Ohio

Back to WV to meet up with the Bi-atch’s (Betsy, Jackie and Gunnar) and we are off to OH for a couple of crit’s. While in OH we will be putting on our Sunday’s best for a Betsy family function (Don’t worry Bunny, I own nice cloths and clean up well when I need to. I am the pretty boy on the squad). Yet again I am the third wheel.
July 1-3 Road Nationals in Louisville, KY.

Betsy and I will compete in our respective age group for the road Nats (“stars and stripes”, yipee) on Wednesday. Followed by Gunnar and Betsy raging on the Tandumb on Thursday.
We hit the bars in Louisville rocking our stars and stripes jersey’s before hopping in the bus to drive all night.
July 4th Barbour Detour RR in some-where, WV
July 5th The Director Sportiff and I arm wrestle to decide whether we RR or MTB race. I will win so we will MTB race http://www.iplayoutside.com/Events/?eid=2008/07/10563.html
I head back to DC to wash my undies and chamois. Ahh, a bed!!
Windham(NY), Mt. Snow(VT), Wilderness101(PA), Fool's Gold100(GA), Shen100(VA)…ahhh… then its September and time for cross, UUGGHH.
And mom wonders why I do not have a girlfriend.
The report's may be scarce in the coming weeks due to our schedule but fan do not worry we will report. And if your in the DC area hit the Avett Brothers show Friday and get me a Tee. Sorry I have to miss it.

Ride hard, take risk but be safe and kind!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Appalachian Classic

We headed to the Appalachian or Appalachain Classic this past weekend. I certainly was in need of a less stressful weekend of racing. The Mohican and the 24 Hours were both physically and mentally taxing so this bus-casual race weekend was perfect. The weekend was to include a TT, short track, bike polo, Weedhawks, X-country, lake jumping and hanging out with excellent people. Chrissy’s tale for our fan…

I was slated to leave DC around 2pm but I decided to update my Ipod and generally dick around so I hit the road at the height of rush hour, brilliant. I got to Mo-town around 9pm and before I could even shut off the van Gunnar had us riding the short track course across the way. With out lights and complete unfamiliarity with the course I slammed my head on a low hanging branch propelling myself in reverse through the air. Dug some bark out of the skull and continued, ugh!! We grabbed some Broccoli and tofu from the take out joint, watched an artsy Portishead video, drank some cold beer and hit the sack.

TT:Gunnar and I left Morgantown around noon for the 2.5 hour drive to No-where, WV. We needed to be there around 1:30 for the TT. Do the math! We would be meeting Betsy and her folks there…and we had Betsy’s bike…oops!We arrived fashionably late, 2:05ish. Betsy was geared up along with every one else. I decided the night before to skip the TT(tired) and Gunnar is sickly so he too decided to save it for the short track. As spectator’s we heckled. It was a good TT.

Our TT

Bike polo: I did not play but some really large out of control polo playing guy almost killed Jason C, Nick W and I as we spectated. He landed on me causing me to tumble down the hill. I quickly left the polo match for a nap. That shit is dangerous.

Short Track: Let me begin by saying short track racing hurts. It hurts even more on a single speed. Well, pain was dished out in large doses. I decided it would be smart to jump on Jeremiah (Bishop) and Nick’s (Waite) wheels for a few laps. I was holding my own but man the top section was tough with only one gear. They could shift and recover from the climb while I spun to hold their wheel at 2billion RPM’s. I finally had to say uncle so I kind of sat up or kind of blew up and waited for Gunnar, Joey (Riddle) and Aaron(LB). The four of us rode hard together but we had some laughs too. Eventually, Gunnar and I pulled away. We worked together trying to bring Nick back unsuccessfully. I finally got “geared” again as Gunnar made a move that I was not able to go with. He may of caught Nick, hhmm. In the end Jeremiah kicked our asses but it was fun.

Betsy "girled" all the boys

Weedhawks: Some wacky comedic Blue grass. I recommend the “The Metalica Cliff Burton Acid trip song”, hilarious!!! We were entertained and shared some beer. A jolly mountain man offered us some “mountain wine”. I think that was code for moon shine with some grape flavoring. Holy shit was that strong. I think I may have grown chest hair.

Then off to bed for a hot and humid sleepless night in the tent.


The weekend brought some east coast heavy hitters: Jeremiah B, Nick W, Davey “I race in jeans” Walker, Ben O, Sue H. and all the usual suspects that make WV racing so hard and fast weekend after weekend, year after year.

5,4,3,2,1…go…I hit the woods in 6-7th . I got around that shady character Johnny Martin putting myself in 1st within the single speed kids & 6-7th overall. Joey Riddle chose to race SS and he caught me near the end of lap 1. I planned to hang with him for a while but I found myself with a gap so….I kept going. I was having a few bike difficulties through out the day too: damn mechanical brake fade, my chain fell off at least 10 times and the freewheel on my (ok the Shogren’s) race wheel is close to exploding. As I was putting my chain on once again that funny, crazy and shady Johnny M (also racing SS) got by me, ugh. I kept him in sight through the single track which is no small feet as that Johnny can ride his bike well. Just after we entered the 3rd and last lap I jumped on the wheel of Andy G. who has gears and we bridged up to Johnny and Jeremy Rowland. I took the lead wheel and turned in the screws. I spent a lot of time in the “pain box” on that final lap but I was able to get away from Johnny while Jeremy kept me on task.

It was a fun race, bumping elbow’s with Joey and Johnny for 1st for the race within the race, single speed class and pressing the pedals with the boys in the top 5 overall too. I was with Gunnar for a while as well and that is always cool. We have a good time heckling one another but I also like to keep him honest. In the end….

Betsy 2nd X-country & 1st Short Track and "girled" all the boys

Gunnar 6th overall

Me, Chris 1st SS and 7th overall

Full results:


Shout outs and miscellaneous:

- JR for putting on a kick ass event.
- The Baltimore crew (Chris, Amanda and Thomas) that shared camping space with us.It was their first race experience. I think they enjoyed the hanging out festivities more then the racing but I think they will return.
- Betsy’s parents for hanging out and cheering louder then all others.

Things learned:

Joey was eaten by JR
Coming soon 8 races in three weeks, ouch!! Anyone want to sublet my DC apartment?

As always...
Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A glimpse of how we live through the week

Out of our bags.

Just like back in the day.
Only the day has past and now it's a different "the day".

This will be the new back in the day-

Don't have any evidence, but on the way down to the App. Class. we had Clifford packed pretty nice and neat.
On the way back was an entirely different story though-

Monday, June 16, 2008

Home for the past three weekends!


Appalachian Classic June 14-15

24 Hours of Big Bear June 7-8

Mohican 100 May 31-June1

Appalachian Classic Race update is soon to come for our Fan.
But these should help ease the excitement...


Sick, sad and grumpy...

Friday, June 13, 2008

A business casual race weekend.

The mud is not even dry from the 24 hours yet and we/I are off and running again. The early season plan was to do the Stoopid 50 (Chris S. Rocks) this weekend but the plan had to change. I missed one WVMBA race already which knocked me out of the points lead so in order to gain some needed points I/we are headed to the Appalachian Classic.
Appalachain/Appalachian Classic

It will be two days of camping and MTBing fun.
Saturday: Short Track and TT. This should truly suck on a single speed. Anyone got a geared bike I can borrow? Then some lake jumping and a wheelie contest that Jason Cyr promises to win or to crash hard. All followed by some booty shaking Bluegrass and beer. Hopefully, I will meet a purty country girl to share some booty shaking and adult beverages with.
Sunday: Its all business with the XC race.

It should be a hoot and bit more chill then the last two weekends and the weekends we have coming up. I will call this a business-casual race weekend which is needed and deserved.

I am looking forward to seeing and mingling with my 24 hour homies too(Jason, Joey and Andy) we did not have much time to celebrate last weekend. We got swarmed by the press and fan(s)!!

Most importantly a portion of the proceeds will go to help out a young member of the cycling family.
Sammy Klimas
Stay strong!!!!

So come out and play.

Ride well, take chances, be safe and be kind to each other in what ever event you find yourself in this weekend.
Peace out Goose (Chris)

Stay tuned for the report.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Services Rendered

This is Dan, of Casdorph Piano fame.

He was the Team Bi-Atch nanny for the entire 24 hours, for the low low price of $10 and some fangs for his son's Sidi's.
Dan was alert and helpful all through the night, long after the rest of us had stopped speaking in coherent sentences. Cassie's hubby Jeff was also indispensable and kept it together for Cassie and me, while Dr. Miller, DDS went above and beyond the call of duty for the Hipster Dofusses.
24 Hour Races are a whole lot easier when all you have to do is ride.

This is Mike and Twila Miller. Mike looks particularly wrecked cause he had gotten all suited up w/ Morgan to do a lap with him and then BAMM, Morgan awoke from his deathly slumber and dropped his dad and had a scorching fast lap. Fast enough that Sam had to thrown down a decent lap so that Morgan would have to throw down another so Sam would be forced to go out for his 9th lap. The Women weren't quitting and those boys were feeling the pressure!-


The 24 Hours of Big Bear: from the eyes of Chrissy

Team Bi-atch took our bikes, lights and beer to the 24 Hours of Big Bear. We competed on different teams and in different classes but we all stayed in the Big Bear Lake VIP Penthouse (Thanks Mark and the whole Schooley family) as a united front and family.

The Teams…

iPlayoutside/WVMBA Pro Dream Team (pretentious I know): I was asked to join some of WV’s ( and the east coast too) finest and fastest: Jason Cyr, Andy Wiedrich, Joey Riddle (on a single speed) and myself the token slow guy Chrissy McGill (also riding SS).

iPlayoutside/WVMBA Women Dream Team: Betsy Shogren, Elizabeth Shogren, Cassie Jo Smith and Cassie “one fast mom” Smith.

Hipster Doofest Duo Pro Men: Morgan Miller (still in high School) and Sam Hill aka Gunnar Shogren (member of the AARP).

Here is the tale from my eyes for our fan….


I was focused and ready for what the weekend had in store (finally). I had been getting my things together all week. I have been slowly removing my head from ass and began to get the needed focus that has been lacking in the past weeks (the “Pro” Life starts in 10 days so I better find my A game).

I hit the road for the Shogren’s with only a few minor Friday-Eve-DC traffic shit bag delays. My ETA 8pm, yippee. I sadly received some bad news from the “rents” during my travels though. I was tempted to throw in the towel and head north for NY but my Pops (a wise man) an old Pro Moto-crosser himself said” Kid, there aint shit you can do here so go ride hard, take chances and win the damn thing”. Mom agreed, but added “be safe and try to sleep some”. So the decision was made, I am going racn’!!!! So I made my way to Shogren’s with a weary heart. We loaded the vans, ate some food, drank some beer and had a little dance party. Man can that Betsy dance!! Gunnar please insert proof.

Ok Goose and phans. Here's Betsy, but you must remember that we were listening to "The Real McCoy's" and not the Avett Brothers...-

But wait! There's more, that grrl is just non-stop Clubbing!

In bed by midnight…


We arrived at the camp grounds around 10am and got set up pretty quickly. Joey, Andy and I began discussing the rider order and such but we also began to worry as it was after 11am and no one had seen Jason who incidentally planned on doing the first lap run. The three of us came to the decision that if Jason did not arrive soon I would do the run. So I began gearing up and thinking about the task at hand. Jason arrived around 11:30 and he was a bit frazzled so I stepped up to the plate to take on the running start, ugh!!

The Race... Our riding order: Me, Jason, Joey and Andy.

I lined up on the front row, exchanged some pleasantries and got focused on what I had
ahead of me. 5,4,3,2,1 and we were off and running. I was in the top 20 but man there were some dirty contenders elbowing and punching ( un-called for) just to get passed once we got on the bikes, idiots. We grabbed the bikes and most of us headed back out onto the running section catching a few runners on our way. I entered the woods around 10th, not so bad after such a shitty running experience.
Go Goose Go!

I did not feel as though I was riding well, in fact I felt like ass (I had the runs for the previous 24hrs) and I dropped my chain 4 times so I was not too pleased with things. I still managed to have a pretty fast time so that was cool and came in around 6th place.

After the first rotation of riders we found ourselves in 2nd place approximately 10 minutes behind the Dirty Harry Boys. The race was on, oh boy. Around lap 6 we started to dig into their lead so we were not out of it yet.

The Night….
The night turned out to be our friend. Every lap we were gaining a minute or two. Around 11pm, I was waiting in the staging area anticipating Andy to be in 4-5 minutes behind the Dirty Harry guy. Ahh, the waiting was the worse. Then came the DH guy I began to get ready as Andy would be in soon. I ran to the tree line to take care of one last Mother Nature call but before I could I heard Andy yelling my name. Oh, shit he gained mad minutes. I ran to the table and got ready for what be very hard lap. Andy had a stellar lap bringing us close to the lead. I entered the woods approx. 2 minutes down. It was time to bury myself and I would. I put myself in the pain-box from the start. I was riding well and the darkness didn’t seem to be slowing me much. I was plugging away passing many and off in the distance I could see that some one was riding pretty fast too, however, I was gaining on him. It had to be that fast Spreng fella from Dirty Harry’s. The pain meter was off the charts as I bridge the gap. It was the DH fella. I got on his wheel for 10 seconds saw the open line then passed and attacked. I could see his light from over my shoulder for a few minutes so I attacked again harder then before finally losing him. I sprinted the ball-buster-climb run up completely burying myself in hopes to give Jason a 1 to 2 minute lead. I passed the piton to Jason and waited. 1 minute, 2 minutes and then 3 finally Spreng arrived. It was 12:30am and we now had a 3 minute lead. Jason, Andy, Joey and I would nail the door shut in the coming laps and by day break we had close to a 30 minute lead and by noon we had 45 minutes, whew!!

The Course: Very single speed friendly 12 miles of super fast single-double track, mud and rocks ah plenty, the pines with the amazing view off to the left, the smokin’ fast stream bed descent, the hairy rock garden and then the very un-friendly dick dragger climb around mile 10.

The results:

iPlayoutside/WVMBA Pro Dream Team: 1st Pro/ex and 1st over all by 45 minutes

iPlayoutside/WVMBA Women Dream Team: 1st Women Pro/ex, unofficial 2nd Pro/duo, Cassie fastest mom lap and Betsy fastest female lap

Hipster Doofest Duo Pro Men: 1st Duo/pro, Gunnar had the fastest lap at 1:07…he broke his chain and ran ½ mile too

My shout outs

- Jason, Joey and Andy: You guys rode like rock stars and looked sexy doing it, it was a pleasure. Next year?

Here's the sexy things, and Goose trying to get a grab off Joey-

- Betsy, Cassie, Morgan, Matt M., ole Man Vernon and Sam also Rockstars not as sexy though.

- Mr. Morgan, Dan C., Mandy Riddle and Jeff Smith for being there when we were lost.

- JR for putting this together

- The Schooley’s of Big Bear Lake for treating us like rock stars and allowing such amazing events to occur on your property.

- To all that lent Gunnar and me (we dip-shits) lights and other needed gear.

- The Dirty Harry Boys for taking us to task, The Custom Contracting Cancer Awareness team you rode hard, partied harder and heckled hardest, The Wamsley Cycles Factory Team (Jeremy slow down please). And to all that raced. We all suffered the same but at our own speed and ability, hats off to ya!!

- Granny gear

- To the guy playing the Deliverance tune on his guitar in the pines at 2am, creepy yet funny.

Better coverage:




  • Director please add pic’s and edit . I am tired and only hit spell check 1 time and proofed it zero.
Powderpuff and PJ add your point of view. The fan wants to hear.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Its over!!!!

The 24 hours is over and done,
we are all tired but we all won.
Time for beer,smiles and some needed fun.
Good work team, a job well done.

Friday, June 6, 2008

We are getting READY!!

And we are getting our groove on.

Watch out.
We're coming down the road.

We're listening to The Real McCoy!! Automatic Lover and all their other dancin' groovin' hits.

"Another Night", "ahh ah"

"Call my love..."

Oh yeah.
And Betsy is showing us her moves, sorry though I can't photograph that stuff.
Ok. So I did photograph it. She says she makes the dance moves up, they come to her in her heart.

We'll post when this whole debacle is over.

The Fun Just Never Ends

Things are just now getting rolling!

Check out our schedule straight from the Cycle-Dumb site-

Word has it that fellow Bi-atcher MikeY will be joining us for at least one of these w/e's and hopefully more.
More top-notch riders means more $$ in the Coffers!
And Jackie needs kibble!

Indeed thanks to fellow blog readers, past associates, and generally swell folks we got lights coming out our ears.
Shout out to Mike Caruso and Joel for setting us up w/ lights that are just as old as mine but in much nicer condition! Big Bi-atch hug-kiss thingie there.

MikeC come join the frey at Big Bear. We'll be staying at the Penthouse Suites in the shade as all the other sods suffer in the common grounds.

This weekend: 24hrs of Big Bear

Three fifths of Team Bi-atch will be headed to the 24 Hours Of Big Bear this weekend: Betsy, Gunnar and I. Mike Y. will be keeping it real in Pa. and Freddie S. will be keeping it real in his cubicle up at Trek in cheese land.
Our pretentious press release:

Come out to heckle, bring coffee and hand off some beer. Friendly faces will be appreciated during those AM laps.

Special shout out and thanks to all of our extended family in WV and DC that set up Gunnar and I with lights, we heart all of you!!!! As usual he and I are ill prepared for things. We can ride our bikes well but that’s about it, when not on two wheels or in spandex we are a confused bunch.

Incidentally, that assistant position still has not been filled (check the Bi-atch archives)!!

Good luck to all that are racn’ this weekend in what ever event you find yourself in.
Stay clipped in, ride hard, be safe and most importantly have fun and be kind to each other: we are all we got!!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Mohican 100: Chrissy report

This weekend was certainly a whole lot different then last weekend’s series of 3 crit’s. Team Bi-atch, minus Mike Y., headed to Ohio for the Mohican 100, 100 miles of mountain bike racn’ pleasure!! It was a long and hard weekend but in the end we all ended up doing pretty well and landed in the money. Here is the tale from my perspective if you care…..

Observation: Blogging reminds me of a Doogie Howser episode the end you know? Was Doogie the first blogger? Hhmmm…


I headed out of DC in the early afternoon for West Virginia. I arrived in Morgantown around 4pm. Much to my surprise Gunnar and Betsy had the van pretty close to packed.

We quickly threw my stuff in, grabbed a few Blackbear burrito’s and we were off -Jackie, Betsy, Gunnar and I headed for Loudonville, Oh.(or the middle-of-nowhere, Oh), our ETA 10pmish. The trip was enjoyable, however, fairly uneventful which was nice. No one seemed too focused and no seemed to care about what we had in store for our selves the next day. Betsy was concerned about her trip after the race (she is a part time mad scientist and was giving a presentation on germs in Minnesota Monday) and she was worried about Gunnar. Gunnar has been on the losing side of a cold for over a week, which is why he chose to do the 100k race. And me, well as you know my head has been up my booty for weeks now so I am not even sure what focus feels like these days. Betsy and I chatted, Gunnar and I bickered . We arrived around 10pm with just enough time to pick up our numbers and drop our “drop bags” in the bins.

We had a beer and chatted with the promoter who was happy to see the Shogrens (and had no clue who I was) and then started setting up camp. We hit the sack around 12:30am for our 5am wake up. Plenty of sleep right? Well, around 1am all hell broke loose. My tent began to pitter-patter with a light rain…then loud thunder…then a torrential down pour. Rumor has it that there were tornado warnings in the region. Man did it come down. I stepped out around 2am for some bladder relief and there was a river flowing in front of my tent. This was going to make for a long race if this kept up. Luckily, around 2:30am things began to slow up and I found myself dosing off until 3am when the loud obnoxious reverse beeper from the Cannondale box trailer woke the whole campgrounds. Ugh, 5am came around quickly and I probably got 2 hours of sleep in total. Awesome!!!

Saturday: Race day...lets get it on

My cell phone alarm went off at 5am and boy was I ready to race 100 miles on those 2 hours of sleep. The skies were clear though, YAY!! Around 5:15 I banged on the bus to wake the Shogrens. Some coffee was brewed, food was eaten and racing was in the air.

Unfortunately the race did not start at the campgrounds but it was ending there, ugh. So we loaded the bikes and the gear we needed for the race into the van and we put all the post-race goods in my tent and off we went to the start in down town Loudonville.

The race...

7-7:30am Miles 1-6

The start was not very single speed friendly. 5-6 miles of road before hitting the woods. I spun my lil’ heart out and was able to enter the woods around 30th with a hand full of SS guys in front of me. Not bad.

Miles 7-35ish

We hit the woods and I would no longer be at an extreme disadvantage with my lack of gears. As I ran the first hike-a-bike I saw Gunnar stripping at the top (he can explain this impromptu strip show). I quickly found myself in the top 15 with the Trek boys leading the train. I was moving and shaking with the mover and shakers but I knew this would only last for so long because once we hit the roads or major elevation change we SS kids would have to make our way at a slower pace. This 30-mile stretch was a manicured zigzag of super fast single track though. It was fast and fun….pretty freaking sweet!!

Miles 35-to the end…a mix of dirt and paved road, single track, climbs, hike-a-bikes and a ball buster 10-15 mile railroad grade…

I lost view of the fast boys with gears just after checkpoint #1 (5-6min back I was told). I found myself with a crew of fast SS kids, which is exactly what I wanted though. We were all in the same boat and we were able to work together when needed, shell each other when racing and chat with each other during the hard times. Gunnar (he had gears) bridged up to us somewhere between checkpoint 1 and 2. He has been sick so he was doing the shorter race and seeing how chatty he was I knew he was just out for a ride not racing too much. It was nice to ride with him but he was getting a little too comfortable at checkpoint 2 so I had to leave him behind. Bye Gunnar!!! About 3 miles away a couple of us were climbing the road of the “dead animals” and at the top the arrow pointed us right. 5 or 6 us traveled for about 15 minutes and realized we had made an error. We turned around and started heading back. Another guy rolled up on us who had helped mark the course and explained to us that some one turned some arrows around. Awesome, 7-8 extra miles and 20-30 minutes of time wasted.

We were a merry band of lost single speed kids: Jaime (from Pa.) Chris “Topher”( also Pa) and another guy from Cleveland . We rode well together as SS kindred spirits when we had to, bumped elbows as competitors when it was time to and chatted while getting know each other when we wanted to. Betsy bridged up to us on the ball-buster rail grade. She pace lined with us for a while but since she had gears she quickly dropped us (go Bunny). As we began to hit more trails our new friendships were put aside and the racing started in earnest. The four of us left checkpoint 4 together. As we were leaving another SS kid arrived so it was on. Quickly it was just Jaime and I. He attacked me hard on a real dick dragger hike-a-bike. He had a solid gap but I was able to bridge after about 10 minutes, whew!! We rode hard but cooperated with each other going in to check point #5(also saw several eagles, F-ing rad). Going into the checkpoint a guy hollered 7 miles to go and there is a SS guy (Matt from Nittany Wheelworks) about 4 minutes up the trail. I was feeling good so I was up for the chase and was anticipating Jamie’s attack at any moment. Much to my surprise Jamie stopped at the check point( later we chatted and he told me that he was out of water and was in a bad way, thanks Jamie). I put my head down and chased. I caught Betsy but not Matt F (Wheelworks). Oh well, I came in about 4 minutes behind him in 4th (21st overall). I did slow up so that Betsy and I could finish together as I knew Gunnar would be at the line with a camera but no Bunny. I crossed the line and told Gunnar she was just behind me. We waited…waited…waited…there is Jamie no Betsy for 20 minutes. Turns out she missed the last turn in to the woods as did many. She still won though…

Betsy 1st women (Top30ish overall)

Gunnar 4th 100k

Me, Chris 4th SS (21st overall)

We missed you MikeY

…all in the $$$$, YAY

Full results:


We were all tired. I did give a half-hearted attempt to convince the Director to drive us to the Hoo-Ha down in Va. Since Betsy had to get to the airport I was not getting the needed support to make a convincing argument. The awards were late and the beer was cold so I quickly rested my ambitions to race twice and settled on getting a buzz (props to the few hardy souls that did do both).

Back in the tent by 12am for yet another horrible rainstorm, great. I was able to sleep through this one though.


We rose slowly and achy. But that was fine. We drank some coffee and licked our wounds. As we were milling around we did discover that many people did not pick up their drop bags Yippee for us, dumpster diving for gels, bars, drinks and other racer type stuff…SCORE!!

This was better then the recliner I dumpster dove for a few years back. We at Team Bi-atch try not to waste and to be frugal…and we are!!! We also helped Garth(promoter) break down the finish banners and such. We are not spoiled brat athlete’s at Team Bi-atch either we know what’s what…kind souls we are (We did take his money and drank his beer)!!We broke down our camp. Drove through Ohio, dropped off Betsy at the airport and still made it to Blackbear for the Klimas benefit. Then I soloed to DC arriving after 1am, yuck.

Shout out and props…

Gerry, Andy and Steve-O the Pittsburgh crew

Jamie, Topher, Dejay, Fuzzy and all the other SS homies

And to all that competed whether you came to win or just to finish before the cut off we all went through the same shit together just at our own ability….good job!

That’s it…

The Shogren’ s camera has the better pic’s maybe Gunnar will add a few.

Thoughts:If I didn't go off course for 30 minutes or if I had gears what could I of pulled off? ..hhhmmm!!!

Things learned: Ohio ain't that bad and

This weekend the 24 Hours of Big Bear. Still looking for lights, HELP!!….stay tuned for the next
* I am tired, hit spell check once and proofed it 0