Look out for the turtles please!!

This weekend was another double-header for this Bi-atch. Saturday I went solo up to the land of Landis and the Amish for yet another exciting Red-Roses road race (thanks for supporting our passions Red-Roses). It was in East Earl, Pa, a fine little town near Lancaster. I had delightful drive northeast away from DC. I rocked out to some NPR and when I was no longer able to find a signal the Ipod kept me entertained. There was plenty of sing-long moments to be had with some new fav’s Joe Purdy, Bloc Party, The Rapture (thanks AK for turning me on to them recently), The Killers, The Avett Brothers,Mastodon and of course the old guards that have been a part of my life since I was a wee lil’ lad: Minor Threat, 7-Seconds, Janes Addiction, Moby, PE, Jurassic 5…and Slayer of course. I think I may of had a Jay-Z, Kanye West and Tiesto block interlude for some booty shaking too. If any one passed my van on I-95, I-83 or RT220 you probably witnessed my mesmerizing karaoke genius occurring with air guitar and drumming to complete the show. I amaze myself!!!

I arrived plenty early, which is normally not the case (more to come on late arrivals). It gave me a chance to find my “game face” which I do not think I found at all this weekend. Things went well considering my head was far from being focused at the task at hand. It was approximately a 5-mile circuit on some fast, narrow but very fun roads. It had the speed and excitement of a crit with all the unexpected externalities of a road race. You had to pay attention or you could easily find your self in a ditch. I found myself in an early break with a few strong guys. Unfortunately none of us had any real team presence in the field so the troops behind were not going to stand by and let us gingerly walk away. We worked well together but sadly we got caught right near the slight hill up to the start/finish line, quite the ball buster. As predicted and expected with this caliber of competition there was a furry of counter attacking. I was already in the “red” and did not have enough to jump on. I could only hope that this would not stick…but it would. Eight would go up the road and stay there. I was involved in a bit more excitement in the field but nothing that amounted to much.

The end did get a little exciting or confusing. On lap 10 of what was supposed to be 11 the final bell rang we were all confused but as we do every one started bobbing and weaving for position near the front. As we approached the 200m sign the sprint was on, I was about 8^th wheel back (but remember 8 were ahead of us) and I sprinted my little heart out getting passed all the while. (Note to self: learn to sprint or get in the right break) As we rolled through the line we were informed we had one to go. Hmm, oh well!! We all regrouped in our collective confusion and decided to ride one more at a neutral pace. One guy did however decide to swear at and acknowledge his displeasure with the nice older women who I am sure volunteered to corner marshal. I politely asked him to chill stating it’s not her fault and there are bigger worries in the world (Myanmar and China on the short list). He quickly turned his anger on me and called me a F-ing peace-nic that needs to F off!! Well, I was flattered to be called a peace-nic as I normally try to be but I quickly explained that this peace-nic would soon have his size 43 Diadora up in his ass if he needed to continue this rant. The crowd chuckled as they too were not happy with his ignorant display and he quickly moved to the rear. I am a peace-nic but I won’t stand for any BS…remember we at Team Bi-atch are trained in the art of guerilla warfare as we are also revolutionaries ready to pounce on any injustice. That sort of thing never happens in the dirt, damn roadies!!! No offence, I am one too so settle down.

In the end I feel as though I rode strong just not smart I suppose. Maybe if the Director Sportiff brought his lazy butt to the race I would have had the support I needed. If you learn some thing new every day though you are moving forward in life (remember note to self from above). I saw plenty of old and new cycling friends. We are getting older, moving forward but we still are doing what we love, riding bikes. Congrat’s go out to Saysana on his new fatherhood status that is way too grown up and certainly a move forward and Fergie on the career change (both lyfer’s too)…Maybe I need to hit the Craigslist personals for some help moving forward and growing up...nah!! Or write my needs on a turtle shell perhaps!!!

After a quick bite to eat of some delicious PB&H(thanks Anna) and some fare-wells to old and new friends I headed out for West “by god” Virginia (I heart the mountains of PA and WV) for an exciting part two of yet another crazy two part weekend of racing. I had a small disagreement with my map in Lancaster County but other then that the trip went smoothly with more singing and air guitar. I even made it to Mo-town in time for some Blackbear Burrito. I love me some Blackbear Burrito (note: Everyone in the Morgantown area please hit up Blackbear June 1^st and race the Appalachian Classic to help out a fellow young member of the cycling family. Details are on the WVMBA site.I hope we can knock heads in the SS class soon brother our thoughts are with ya !!!!!)

As usual it was great to see Jackie (I heart that lil’ fur ball she makes all my worries go away), Bunny and even Gunnar the old grump. We chatted, ate burritos, had a few beers, maybe had ice cream and watched an X-files episode. We retired early but I was pleasantly surprised when Gunnar informed us that we would have an extra hour to sleep as it would be my luck that the Tour de Lake (http://www.charlesfork.org/) would be starting at 1pm instead of the WVMBA norm of noon. I heart late starts as you know.

Well…..
Sunday morning Betsy, Jackie, Gunnar and I headed south for Spencer, WV ”The biggest small city in WV” for our 1pm start. As usual we were running about a half hour late for our 1pm start time. Our predicted ETA was 12:30pm for our 1pm start. The weather was UGLY and the motivation was lacking from the troops, ok from me. My race face was missing all weekend and the 40MPH wind and torrential down pour was not helping me find it. But alas, as we exited I-79 the sun began to show her lovely face. The road off of 79 was a twisting mess of carsickness but the views were well worth it…the mountains were so green and crisp, the Honeysuckle aroma was sweet and the Pines musky, I certainly was not let down.

As we traveled the roads we encountered the great turtle migration. We stopped and saved a few from certain demise. We even found a few with some graffiti and want ads (for a good time call &%&-&^%$….on the shell, really, I can’t make that shit up!!!) We at Team Bi-acth will stomp all comers on the bike but we are altruistic lovers of all things so we saved many. This was good karma but it did set our ETA back some probably to12:40 for our 1pm start.

We made our way to Spencer with what seemed like a 30-minute window to get ready. My legs were heavy from Saturday’s race so I was hoping to get a warm up but hey warm-ups are over rated right? As we made our way down the twisty little road to registration we noticed all the racers lined up and looking mad. It turns out the 1pm start Gunnar claimed was the start time was wrong we were starting at noon (Gunnar must be skipping his med’s again). It’s a good thing our Director is the WV MTB patriarch because oddly they waited for us. It was now 12:40. We dressed quickly, rode to the start, I forgot my helmet in the bus, I grabbed it and off we went. In conclusion Team Bi-atch won all our respective classes after making everyone wait 45 minutes for us…..THANKS fellow racers!!! And our Cannondale’s worked pretty kickass!!!! I did have a hard fast top side crash and now I am sore.

Team Bi-atch result

Gunnar 1^st Pro/ex

Betsy 1^st Pro/ex female… and girl’d many boyz

Chrissy 1^st SS 5^th Pro/ex

Mike MIA

Freddie MIA

This weekend I am staying in my own bed to road race close by and the Team is supposed to come….and then the Mohican 100. When are Cross Natz, December what?? Ugh!!! Stay tuned!

Another chapter complete…

Wow, that is long. Two days off the bike to lick my wounds amounts to this.

As always get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard!

Love Goose (aka Chris)