Friday:
I am a closet nerd in case you did not know (Masters Degree in History = big ole nerd). I am racing SS off-road this year in order to seem more edgy and hardcore in hopes to pick up on the ladies or at least get some street cred. So far it has not helped too much perhaps I need a tattoo…maybe a butter fly tat on my lower back or a barbwire arm band on my “gun show” now that would be edgy right? Anyway, I jumped on the fixie and headed down to the National Geographic Museum to get my nerd on. It was nice to be on the city streets during business hours, something I have rarely done since moving to DC, it triggered memorizes of the days spent on the streets of San Francisco when I was actually edgy and met mad ladies while working as a courier…ok I was a nerd back then too and the only ladies that talked with me were drag queens. Hey, that’s San Francisco for ya. Back to my day in DC…The exhibit I wanted to see was “Human Foot Print” it was small but a very cool illustration of how much Americans consume and waste. I learned a lot of frightening statistics. I really hope my “Foot Print” is less then the norm, I try really I do (excluding Snapple bottles, we all have vice). There is also a fascinating photo exhibit on China. Well worth the trip and a very hard-core bike racer thing to do (this training regime will be added to Cycling-Dumb)!!! As I have mentioned in previous posts if you learn something new everyday you are moving forward in life and I did so I am. Good training for sure!!!
….and Friday night…WABA bike prom….what what!!!
I have been doing things on two wheels since I was able to, from BMX/freestyle to motocross (with a motor) at age 5 to doing my first NORBA event as a junior (age 16 or 17) in 1990. So being a nerd and a bike geek my whole life did not lend itself to me participating in the normal popular school functions. In fact, I skipped my high school graduation so I could travel to a race (sorry mom). And needless to say, I was not as smooth with the ladies as I am now, so I did not go to any prom’s either, rather shocking I know. So on Friday night, I asked my neighbor Joel G. of the world famous http://www.gwadzilla.blogspot.com/ to be my date WABA Bike Prom. His wife said ok and we were off. We rode down to the Blackcat saw fellow DC cyclists, had too many beers, listened to some classic 80’s tunes and I didn’t shake my booty-my date may have been too shy or maybe me. This Cinderella had to be home early since I had to race the next day so I left my date behind and headed back to Mt.P with a fellow cycling homie that lives down the block. We had good times, good beer and I was home in time before my bike turned into a pumpkin. I got some rest, not enough, before a hard weekend of racing. I was disappointed that I did not even get to first base with anyone though. Isn’t that the point of prom, ugh…the story of my life.
….and Tuesday morning I received a call from WABA I won the raffle from the prom, yippee for me!! Now when will I get down there to pick it up?
Things Learned:
Saturday is race day…
The Director Sportiff claims to of gotten sick so once again I was leading the Mid-Atlantic campaign solo for Team Bi-atch. I was off to race twice at the Kelly Cup in the Charmed City. I was not traveling alone this time, which is always nice especially if you go down (which no one did but I had a scare that my traveling mate did and a frantic ambulance search ensued, ahh but all was fine…for my mate at least she had a similar sounding name as the unlucky one. Got the heart pumping though. ). I recruited AnnaK. a fellow MtP. resident and pal, cycling lyfer, lover of all things 2 wheeled and who too embraces the revolutionary do-gooder ideals and spirit of Team Bi-atch so that makes her a good egg and a fine travel mate to help with the Team Bi-atch Charmed City campaign. The road was hit early and we arrived with plenty of time to chat with cycling friends of new and old. Something I am not completely accustomed to because as you know I normally arrive late and sometimes too late. I ate some breakfast in the parking lot and jammed out with my Ipod ( weekly Ipod fav’s The Avett Brothers and The Black Keys) waiting for the days events to begin. I was racing twice so it was going to make for a long, fun but hard day. As for the racing, well, they both ended in field sprints and if you remember from my last post I ain’t no sprinter, but I rode hard, got in two breaks that did not stick and such!! We hit a burrito joint for some eats and the Water Front for some tourist shit on our way out and the day was done. 2 races down 1 to go and one pretty bitchn’ tan…sun burn gained. I took my camera for the first time and boy does it show. Photographer I am not but I will try to work on it. In the end, I would call it an ok day not stellar. I still can not find my game face anywhere, life just sometimes causes you to loose those things. Anyone seen it? If so, please return it. Things learned: I still can’t sprint, I have no focus these days, Baltimore has too many one way streets, I like honey with peanut butter, the Water Front is pretty but way too touristy and many other things.
Sunday I decided to stay local for a second day to road race and to skip the WVMBA MTB race which would almost certainly knock me out of the leader’s position in SS points. I am no longer a WV local but a DC local so I guess I should support the one race that occurs in my new town, right? I can probably regain my led so long as I continue to ride well but I will have to miss the Stoopid 50 in order to do so, ahh, the simple worries of a bike racer… this race or that one… road or mountain…2 scopes or 3? Rough isn’t it? Rocket Surgery for sure!!!
I decided to ride to the event in the hope that I would run in to the “Rolling Thunder” thing. Nothing says hardcore and edgy like a guy with shaved legs wearing spandex riding with a bunch Harley’s right? I really just wanted to limit my “foot print” mostly though but seeing some cool motorcycles (I miss my Harley) would have been cool too, I didn’t!!
The race report: not much different then the other road reports from the last few weeks. I am moving and shaking with the movers and shakers until the last 200m. Sprint Chrissy sprint!!! Oh well, I stuck around to watch the women race which was the main event, which is awesome because that rarely occurs. Saw and chatted with an old WV MTB friend Sue H. who is kicking all sorts international butt in the dirt. Heckled some others, laughed, cried and ate too many Bananas. 3 of 3 complete, no cash won, legs are sore and even more bitchn’ tan worked on. Things learned: I do not know DC outside of MtP. very well, large parking lots get very hot in the summer sun, safety cones aren’t so safe, I should have MTB raced, um, I am sure there is more.
I rode hard at times but not too hard as I did race 3 times on the previous 2 days so I was tired and riding the rocks and descents with unabashed enthusiasm can bite you in the ass sometimes and since I was alone I chose a more conservative pace which allows for more mental reflection and scenery observation anyway. The trails were pretty empty but I did run into two WV hippie kids in the woods. They were boiling up some water for rice and hit,hit, passing the one hitter around. We exchanged some knowledge and they offered me a hit and some rice. I respectfully declined, shook some hands and be-bopped down the trail.
It was a good day. Almost 5.5 hours in the woods. The riding was great, the nature spectacular and the head clearing well the verdict is still out.
I do wish Team Bi-atch and others were there but sometimes running solo with just Mother Nature by your side is whats up!!!
I arrived plenty early, which is normally not the case (more to come on late arrivals). It gave me a chance to find my “game face” which I do not think I found at all this weekend. Things went well considering my head was far from being focused at the task at hand. It was approximately a 5-mile circuit on some fast, narrow but very fun roads. It had the speed and excitement of a crit with all the unexpected externalities of a road race. You had to pay attention or you could easily find your self in a ditch. I found myself in an early break with a few strong guys. Unfortunately none of us had any real team presence in the field so the troops behind were not going to stand by and let us gingerly walk away. We worked well together but sadly we got caught right near the slight hill up to the start/finish line, quite the ball buster. As predicted and expected with this caliber of competition there was a furry of counter attacking. I was already in the “red” and did not have enough to jump on. I could only hope that this would not stick…but it would. Eight would go up the road and stay there. I was involved in a bit more excitement in the field but nothing that amounted to much.
The end did get a little exciting or confusing. On lap 10 of what was supposed to be 11 the final bell rang we were all confused but as we do every one started bobbing and weaving for position near the front. As we approached the 200m sign the sprint was on, I was about 8th wheel back (but remember 8 were ahead of us) and I sprinted my little heart out getting passed all the while. (Note to self: learn to sprint or get in the right break) As we rolled through the line we were informed we had one to go. Hmm, oh well!! We all regrouped in our collective confusion and decided to ride one more at a neutral pace. One guy did however decide to swear at and acknowledge his displeasure with the nice older women who I am sure volunteered to corner marshal. I politely asked him to chill stating it’s not her fault and there are bigger worries in the world (Myanmar and China on the short list). He quickly turned his anger on me and called me a F-ing peace-nic that needs to F off!! Well, I was flattered to be called a peace-nic as I normally try to be but I quickly explained that this peace-nic would soon have his size 43 Diadora up in his ass if he needed to continue this rant. The crowd chuckled as they too were not happy with his ignorant display and he quickly moved to the rear. I am a peace-nic but I won’t stand for any BS…remember we at Team Bi-atch are trained in the art of guerilla warfare as we are also revolutionaries ready to pounce on any injustice. That sort of thing never happens in the dirt, damn roadies!!! No offence, I am one too so settle down.
In the end I feel as though I rode strong just not smart I suppose. Maybe if the Director Sportiff brought his lazy butt to the race I would have had the support I needed. If you learn some thing new every day though you are moving forward in life (remember note to self from above). I saw plenty of old and new cycling friends. We are getting older, moving forward but we still are doing what we love, riding bikes. Congrat’s go out to Saysana on his new fatherhood status that is way too grown up and certainly a move forward and Fergie on the career change (both lyfer’s too)…Maybe I need to hit the Craigslist personals for some help moving forward and growing up...nah!! Or write my needs on a turtle shell perhaps!!!
After a quick bite to eat of some delicious PB&H(thanks Anna) and some fare-wells to old and new friends I headed out for West “by god” Virginia (I heart the mountains of PA and WV) for an exciting part two of yet another crazy two part weekend of racing. I had a small disagreement with my map in Lancaster County but other then that the trip went smoothly with more singing and air guitar. I even made it to Mo-town in time for some Blackbear Burrito. I love me some Blackbear Burrito (note: Everyone in the Morgantown area please hit up Blackbear June 1st and race the Appalachian Classic to help out a fellow young member of the cycling family. Details are on the WVMBA site.I hope we can knock heads in the SS class soon brother our thoughts are with ya !!!!!)
As usual it was great to see Jackie (I heart that lil’ fur ball she makes all my worries go away), Bunny and even Gunnar the old grump. We chatted, ate burritos, had a few beers, maybe had ice cream and watched an X-files episode. We retired early but I was pleasantly surprised when Gunnar informed us that we would have an extra hour to sleep as it would be my luck that the Tour de Lake (http://www.charlesfork.org/) would be starting at 1pm instead of the WVMBA norm of noon. I heart late starts as you know.
Well…..
Sunday morning Betsy, Jackie, Gunnar and I headed south for Spencer, WV ”The biggest small city in WV” for our 1pm start. As usual we were running about a half hour late for our 1pm start time. Our predicted ETA was 12:30pm for our 1pm start. The weather was UGLY and the motivation was lacking from the troops, ok from me. My race face was missing all weekend and the 40MPH wind and torrential down pour was not helping me find it. But alas, as we exited I-79 the sun began to show her lovely face. The road off of 79 was a twisting mess of carsickness but the views were well worth it…the mountains were so green and crisp, the Honeysuckle aroma was sweet and the Pines musky, I certainly was not let down.
As we traveled the roads we encountered the great turtle migration. We stopped and saved a few from certain demise. We even found a few with some graffiti and want ads (for a good time call &%&-&^%$….on the shell, really, I can’t make that shit up!!!) We at Team Bi-acth will stomp all comers on the bike but we are altruistic lovers of all things so we saved many. This was good karma but it did set our ETA back some probably to12:40 for our 1pm start.
We made our way to Spencer with what seemed like a 30-minute window to get ready. My legs were heavy from Saturday’s race so I was hoping to get a warm up but hey warm-ups are over rated right? As we made our way down the twisty little road to registration we noticed all the racers lined up and looking mad. It turns out the 1pm start Gunnar claimed was the start time was wrong we were starting at noon (Gunnar must be skipping his med’s again). It’s a good thing our Director is the WV MTB patriarch because oddly they waited for us. It was now 12:40. We dressed quickly, rode to the start, I forgot my helmet in the bus, I grabbed it and off we went. In conclusion Team Bi-atch won all our respective classes after making everyone wait 45 minutes for us…..THANKS fellow racers!!! And our Cannondale’s worked pretty kickass!!!! I did have a hard fast top side crash and now I am sore.
Gunnar 1st Pro/ex
Betsy 1st Pro/ex female… and girl’d many boyz
Chrissy 1st SS 5th Pro/ex
Mike MIA
Freddie MIA
This weekend I am staying in my own bed to road race close by and the Team is supposed to come….and then the Mohican 100. When are Cross Natz, December what?? Ugh!!! Stay tuned!
Another chapter complete…
Wow, that is long. Two days off the bike to lick my wounds amounts to this.
As always get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard!
Love Goose (aka Chris)
