Team Bi-atch Pre-Race Grimpeur Rally Ride

Chris, myself and Betsy, signing up and in.

Betsy's got the Tour of the Gila coming up, I just got the System Six all built up and pimped to my and particular and peculiar tastes, and Chris just likes to ride.

Betsy wanted to do Mud Pike. She wants to be like the Lords.
Here's their sweet blog-
Tuesday Grimpeurs
But how to get there from here, Bi-atch HQ?
We shan't drive.

So-
Up Dug Hill to Pierpont, across the top, down to the other end of West Run, whatever that's called, then back up, down to Cheat Lake, 857, up, out, and on to Quarry Run.
That's where I gave up my 12x25 to Betsy for her 12x23. Gonna be a long day for me, the Director Sportif...

What do we do now, DS???

Up that silly nasty Quarry Run and then got Chris to take the goat path to the left instead of the really smooth and burned up gravel road down to the Trout-trout-pretty-little-trout pond. Gonna be a long day for Chris...

Up out of the trout pond where I took the much coveted Preston County sign sprint.

On to Rt. 73.
This was taking a bit longer so I decided that we wouldn't do the truncated Tour de Smock, but rather a new and brave route, that would be made up as it went.
Turned off 73 and on to Lake O'Woods, see if the Rossos and Arnolds are around so we can score some food or beer (which they weren't) then on to Wymps Gap.
Wymps Gap has a bridge on it now!!! And there's burned up gravel section!!!
Holy Crap, it's scary when you hit that stuff at speed.
Oh, and I won the PA state line sprint and Betsy won the Top O' the Hill sprint. Chris was just hanging on...

So now we're back on 857 heading toward the mother land. The Exxon and Mud Pyke.
The Exxon was really really hot inside. It was weird, but the locals were pretty friendly. One chap said we really looked the part, and of course he was right, cause looking good is all that matters to the Bi-atches.
After a bit of eating and drinking we started right up the Pike. Full bellies and cold legs, this ought to be sweet!

Well in all my years here I've only ridden down Mud Pyke. And now I now why.
Yuck.
Chris and I battled it out. Up and over those up hill rollers, taking each other to the ditches (we did this up Quarry too, good skillz training...).
We saw some bottles of beer in a ditch, but ralllied past them. Found out later that Betsy was back there drinking them. Good girl.
So starting from the stop sign up to the stop sign at the top, it took about 27 minutes, probably less than a minute more, but we're not sure where the Lords start and stop their efforts.
Chris's effort stopped about a 1/4 mile short of the climb. Poor kid.
And I wasn't even trying! Trying earlier wore me out...
Betsy the drunk came up a little later, like a minute and a half to two. Those bottles were hard to open.

Then.
Then, the rain came, just a little, but it sure did look like it was not going to let up AND it was a cold rain. So instead of riding down towards Bruceton and 73, I made the executive decision to go back down the Pyke and figure out a way home from there. Surely it would be warmer at least down low.

Riding the Storm Out

And it was!
And it didin't rain on us again till we came up from Sabraton Ave.

So we got back on to 857, headed south, turned there on Chess Road and started quite the series of roads all kind of heading back to where I thought we should be.
Those are some sweet roads out there.
The locals sometimes looked at us funny. But they were pretty funny looking too.
Somehow we ended up on Banks Road, or something like that. It was a nice gravel road that ended with a fine cinder surface uphill before it turned back to pavement and shortly there after we were on the road that goes over to Gans or wherever that crosses 43 at that last exit before WV.
Took that back to 19 and Pt. Marion. Screaming we where. Real rolling heros. Yeah boy.

Me and Betsy thought that since we were feeling so good still we should take the dirt road over to Ft. Martin and come home.
Chris whined and pouted so we rode back the rail trail.
It was fine though, as we got to sprint every mile and it upped our pretty pathetic avg. speed.

Passed a few folks and once on Deckers we passed a women and she rode with us toward Sabraton and was probably amused at out antics and comments. We do try to please, yes we do.

So finally we got going up from Sabraton and onto Richwood and all that.
I wasn't going to crescendo, then all of a sudden Betsy comes blowing past with Chris egging her on. They made fun of me, and I let them have their fun... for a while... then I pushed it into the high ring and astoundingly *blew* by Chris and came up on Betsy before she even knew what was going on.
Then coasted some as I was getting winded.
Betsy came around and I was determined to make her suffer until the very end. Mostly by yelling and jeering from behind.

Then we went up Dayton and I yelled at Jeremy and gang all drinking and what-not at their house.

Coming across Louis, we saw a black sheep amoungst the several regular types and I quoted Th' Inbred "a black sheep by any other name is still a sheep".

That's it kids, see you at Big Bear for the race tomorrow, Team Bi-atch will hopefully be rested and ready to go.


Go Bi-atch!

Oh yeah, Mike Y. is coming in too.
Be afraid, very afraid...

Official Stats-
71.5 Total Badass Miles
5.00 Total Honch Hours
14.4 Way high avg. speed
47.6 Top Speed of Bunny
49.2 Top Speed of Chris
+50 Top Speed of Nars
2 gajillion feet of climbing
"Riding the Storm Out" Ride song
3 Bitching Tans

PowderPuff Update

First off, good work to Goose on his recent exploits. Thanks for the update.

Attention all you single women out there: Did you see that picture of the young Goose? That is a mighty cute little gosling if you ask me.

Here's the PowderPuff update from America's Dairyland (Wisconsin)-- Having fancy hair and make-up is really not for everybody, especially this Bi-atch. Also, for some people, "looking tough for the camera" is easier than it is for others. Definitely not one of PowderPuff's talents, but definitely a pretty neat experience nonetheless...

In any case, my fellow Bi-atches will be happy to note that a strong Bi-atch tradition was upheld, even on a solo Bi-atch mission. Bi-atchs heart PBR.



Unfortunately, despite the short visit to Trek, there were no long-lost Freddie sightings.

I HEART 3PM START TIMES!!!!

We have not been too diligent with our race updates here at Team Bi-atch head quarters but I figured I would add a few updates to keep the fans happy.

Well, the Tour of California was a wash. Director Spotiff has been skipping his Alzheimer's medication and he really dropped the ball on our travel plans. Bunny has been trying to crush them up in his morning coffee but they seem to loose some of their effect when mixed with caffeine.

After all the doping fiasco’s going on in the ProTour over in Euro land we have decided to stay on the domestic circuit for the 08’ campaign. Also, some of you may not know this but we at Team Bi-atch are also full time revolutionaries and with all these presidential elections going on we have decided also that it would be a good idea to be close by just in case we need to take care of some anarchist revolutionary business when we are not racing, training or drinking beer.

Back to some racing: This Bi-atch has headed up to the land of the Amish and Landis on two occasion’s. Director Sportif has put me in charge of the Mid-Atlantic region so I have been making a go of it mostly on my own. I am afraid to report bad things though. At Strasburg, Pa. I flatted and at Kirkwood I rode like a fat kid. I was pleased to see fellow Bi-atch and comrade MikeY at Kirkwood. He did not ride like a fat kid, good job Mike!!! Its also good hear that your swimmers work too-Congrats!!

Easter Sunday brought most of the heathens back together for our first team race. Bunny: aka. Powderpuff aka Betsy, Director Sportif aka PJ aka old as dirt aka Gunnar and myself Goose aka Chris all headed up to were all the Team Bi-atch madness started circa 1997 in the Steel City. It was a pretty bitchn’ crit in down town Pittsburgh. Over the bridges and through the woods all under the cities sky line. It was pretty darn cool. It was also Jackie’s debut to racing and she kicked butt. We all raced well: Powerpuff 2^nd, PJ 1^st old man 9-10th overall and Goose 17-18th overall. It was an enjoyable Easter weekend which ended with some pizza on the strip. Team Bi-atch was happy.

Today this Bi-atch headed out to fly the colors up in Walkersville, Md to do a 72 mile RR. I heart 3pm starts!! I made many attempts to get Director Sportif to come but I was unable to. Perhaps with Powderpuff away doing a modeling gig the Director is having trouble finding his keys. Anyway I raced. It was going well. I was up near the front most of the day. I did not make any stud moves but I also wasn’t back in the fat kid smoking section either. I was happy until 2 to go when there was big ole wreck in front of me at 25 MPH, oh boy, oh great!! I dodged left, I dodged right, I thought I was clear and bam I was lying on a DCvelo fella. My recently operated thumb landed in his spokes, ouch, but for the most part I seem ok!! I hope the DCvelo guy is ok too and all the others that went down. I did not see any ambulances so I expect every one was able to walk away. That’s good!! I chased my little heart out but was not able to catch back on. I was tenacious though, no DNF just a DFL probably. I am happy I rode well not happy to crash!! I don’t heart crashing at 25MPH.

Tomorrow Tyson’s Corner. I heart 4pm start even more. Stay tuned for up dates.

Next weekend we hit the dirt with our fancy new Cannondale’s. Thanks Rob and Cannondale you rock!!

Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard! I would not know though I ride my bike too much…damn it, that happened in High school too!! Some things never change.

No photo’s from the 08’ campaign but here I am in the circa 1980 campaign.

Spring Training Camp! Part Uno

Fun and Frolics Galore.

February 29, 2008, the day that sometimes doesn't exist. Waiting for the slacker Chris to show up for Camp.
He's running late having already postponed camp a week or so cause he had a "flat tyre".
Well we got a bit tired of waiting for him, so we started the flow of libations-

And we waited some more.
Then we started "playing" with Betsy's new race rig, as evidenced by the photo on Powder Puff's Blog

But soon enough we got word that Chris had made it past the blizzards and other obstackels that were impeading his getting to Camp at a decent hour.
So the Motown crew made our way downtown to pickup some Chinaland food and meet Chris down there, since he was so lacking in sustenance by this hour, about 10pm.
Luckily for Chris it was a warm night and he was greeted to a busy Motown and got to see a group of young lassies barfing within 5 minutes of his arrival. Sorry he didn't get to photo-document this.

But we did finally make our way back to HQ and what a sight of sore eyes it was for him, he that was tired, thirsty and of hunger-

So instead of playing on computers or sitting around a campfire we watched a local favorite Night of the Living Dead, filmed just north of Pittsburgh, around where my mother grew up. Drink as we might it was just not the thriller that was needed for our tiring state. We couldn't even make it through to the end, so at about the half way point, we all started clamoring for our bunks (it is camp you know).

The next morning was a bit on the dismal side, snow.
Here's Cheeto, up before Chris at the crack of 10am-

So we finally wrestled Chris out of the top bunk and plopped him down in front of the TV with some fresh pancakes and free-ranging egg sandwiches and finished up NotLD, poor Ben he just never saw it coming...
That really set the mood so we sat around drank much more coffee, played w/ Jackie some, smoked some ciggys and chatted.

The foul weather was not for long and didn't dampen our spirits, for the spirits were already flowing when we gathered the troops and headed out for a romp.
Dave Light, of big legs and fashion was to be amongst us as well and we headed down to the rail trail.
From there we got a bit bored and so decided to go up to Colinsferry Road and do a little "tour of the homeland" for Chris.
We went over to where they are building the new WVU Alumni Center, aka Big McDonaldland-

Then rode past Betsy's place of employment, up to the Law Center to check out the future site of the WVU Practice Race Place. Then over to close by where Chris slummed for some 10 years. Then weedeled our way through Suncrest and found ourselves on Van Voorhees Road which we took to Baker's Ridge and back down to the Rail Trail, thusly proceeding north to Point Marion and places unknown.
Dave L. took his big legs to win the state line preme, and then went home. Leaving before an inevitable defeat at the hands of a Bi-atch rider.
Goose, myself (P.J.) and Judy went then across ye Iron Bridge and on to the dirt road from there to Fort Martin. It was mucky and yes, we did encounter the Great Danes of Dirt Road. We let Chris out front to handle them, as he is larger in girth and stature.
Whew. Getting tired. Tired then too.
From there we raced over hill and dale, finally coming back to Granville where I, PJ, did win the sprint.
Goose was not to be outdone and lead out the sprint for Westover from a little after the tipple on the far end of Granville. This was much to his undoing as he then was blown for the last hill double-points sprint at the top of the hill (which PJ won and Judy came in second).
We rode around some more, looking and the new and different sights for Chris and finally headed up the trail and hills to home.
Total ride time was about 3.5-4 hours.
And oh yeah, Goose was on his geared Cross bike and me and Powder Puff were on our SS Cross machines. And *he* was the one tired at the end of the day!!!

Lucky for us, Mark Rosso was walking his dog by HQ soon after we arrived and so was able to get photo documentation of the BMX Bandits post ride-

Doesn't Goose look tired. We whooped him good, reeeal good.

I gotta take a break, but needless to say the drinking, I mean hydration, never really stopped and even Jackie got in on it-

Whew, we *are* heros.

Lost member contact and sighting!

Afters years and months of searching, relaying messages via pigeons, and almost giving up...

Freddie Stouffer has been seen (well digitally at least) and spoken to!
This is good news.

He also tells me that he has started riding again on a cross bike that his reps/dealers got him for X-mas a few years back.
He says that he uses it for his road, mountain, and cross riding. Just like back in the days at Milbury, MA, CCCP #2. Nothing But Cross.

And he's gotten a little filled in and I'm pretty sure those are fellow riders there too-

Sadly the only action shot that the Bi-atch CyberBorg system was able to take was him playing kickball out in the ghettos of Madison, WI, but hey, it's a start-

Good to see you in action there Freddie, now get some shots of the pooch on the saddle and/or one in your wife-beater, like the rest of the clan.

Oops: We missed the Tour of California

Homies,

We are going to miss the start of the Tour of California. Gunnar load the bus, Betsy make some PB&J fiddles, Mike grab the toolbox.....ahhhhh!! Bad way to start the new season!!!! Did we get our new kits yet?? I blame director sportif. Anyone want to drive the team van for us?

This is the place

For Lyfers.

Such as we are.