Team Bi-atchWe Who Ride & Race for Fun

Check over there...

2010-05-02T22:31:00.002-04:00

Check our 2010 fun and stories over at HERE

2010 Act #1

2010-04-05T20:28:00.005-04:00

Well fan, o10 has begun. We have been doing some skinny tyre racn' to get us ready for the 100milers. Its been fun but I am looking forward to thrashing through so sweet single track soon.

In the meantime, check out our new rides.

Thanks Cannondale!!!!!

Oh, and yes, that is a shifter.

As always "May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.

PEACE Chrissy

Your front wheel is worth more then my bike and I just dropped you!

2010-01-17T20:51:00.003-05:00

Welp fan, some of us at Team Bi-atch have been riding fixie’s on and off since the first time skinny jeans and neon were popular. They are good training for a number of reasons and methodologies but mostly they are just a fun and different bike to ride. Right hipsters? You go out on it for 3 hours and you are almost guarantied to be pedaling for 3 hours. That can not be said when riding with a freewheel and gears- coast, coast, coast!!!

I have been riding a piece-oh-shit fixie more since moving from the mountains to the more flat DC area. I ride it in and out of race season. This baby gets more miles put on it then many peoples “serious” road bikes get. And this thing is probably worth about as much as most “serious” road racers front wheels, actually probably less.

That leads me to my first winter update fan. I was out on a 4 hour ride on said piece-oh-shit fixie the other day geared up in a way that most “serious” road racers would call a tool- visor on helmet, Camelback, un-matching kit to jacket and Schwinn tights from 1995. Yup, I was looking good and “oh so not pro”. I was out pedaling away in the hills of Maryland when three fancy kitted, all matching, $4,000+ bike riding Type A fella’s came pace lining past me with the last guy hollering “stay on the bike path”. I know right? I was as incredulous as you fan. I keep chugging along as there was no need to reply. They stay about 30 seconds ahead so it becomes obvious that they worked hard to catch me and sat up some once they passed and maybe just maybe I turned it up some too out of spite. We hit a nice tempo climb that can take about 4-5 minutes to climb. The fancy kitted fella’s take the perfect climbing stature and break from formation (Eddie B’s book must have been a holiday gift for one of these fine fella’s). Now on a fixie there is no shifting down so you must hold your moment up every climb. With in a minute I catch these fella’s and drop 2 immediately and the third within 100yards, sweet. I roll over the top and in about 5 minutes they catch me looking all PRO in there streamline pace line again. This time one has the nerve to utter “you would do much better on a real bike”-WTF!! About a mile up the road we hit another climb. I catch and drop them again but this time I keep the screws turned in a little never to be caught a again. All while riding a bike worth less then their front wheels. HA, take that!!

The moral fan- It is not the price of your bike that matters but the engine pedaling it, it is not having a pretty kit that makes you fast but determination and sacrifice, it is not how cool you and your team look but your individual grit and will to suffer.

As always "May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.

Oh, check out our new team and our training support.

Be kind and send some good karma to our sisters and brothers in Haiti!

Peace Chrissy!!

09 MTB Season--it's a wrap!!

2009-11-01T10:49:00.006-05:00

09' Cross action

Welp fan, we are sorry for the bloging delay. All them 100 milers left us tired and with little rest, we jump head first into the cross season.

The 09’ MTB was certainly a hoot. We all had some hefty goals with a crazy and packed schedule—chasing the 100 miler NUE Series and the beloved WVMBA series. Things started way back in April with a trip to Tennesse for the Cohutta 100. Things did not play out as any of us had hoped but things were not too bad either. We regrouped and kept on trucking with our heads high and the beer cold`. Bunny had a near flawless season winning nearly everything she entered. The Old Man had a slow start but put together some stellar performances once June hit. And me, Chrissy, had a pretty good year until I didn’t. Ahh, things went down hill quickly once August hit. But in the end, Team Bi-atch had a great time spreading the cycling love, living in our tents or our vans and trying to be merry whether we were on the top step or on a few occasions DFL/DNF.

So now fan, with close to 50 races each down we are all rested and hitting up some badass Eastcoast Cross action. Bunny, Jackie, Gunny and JRie are hold things down in WV, PA and Ohio. While MikeyY, Baby Bi-atch and I are bumping elbows in the MABRA and MAC land. We are all having a hoot playing in the mud and drooling on our top tubes. So get out there too and ride your bike.

Check out this silliness out. ..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HHCbf6zuDc

Big Ole thanks…

-Uncle Matt, Uncle Rob and all the good folks at Cannondale that make us feel “oh so pro” even though we are old, fat and slow.

-Cannondale

-JR and his lovely wife Gina

-my BFF Jackie—always making me/us feel loved after each race

- and to all that come out to suffer, swap stories and enjoy “da Lyfe”. Whether you are a macho “oh so Pro” or a beginner it all hurts the same.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

Wilderness 101

2009-08-05T01:20:00.006-04:00

It was 1990, the summer between my sophomore and junior year of HS. I had been BMX/freestyling my whole life and just competed in my first couple of MTB races. Vision Street wear shorts and high top Vans were my kits of choice back then. After a few races of getting spanked I began to compete for the overall as a 16 year old punk BMX junior that looked like a skater. How cool, right??

It was at this time I began reading, asking and getting unsolicited advice on how to “train” and get fast. I received an overload of information most of which I dismissed but the one thing I knew was I needed to ride on the road. I was working at shop but spent all my savings on my Schwinn Paramount MTB ride so I had no green for a roadie yet.

Luckily, my pops had been an avid roadie (even raced some) my whole life and had a sweet ass Reynolds Tubing hand-built Trek with 6-spd Campy Nuevo Record (my grocery getter now infact) with tubies. It was also at this time I heard about the elusive century that racers and recreational riders always talked about. I figured that would be what I needed to do…often!! I was a freestyling punk that had been in 5-6 MTB races and had maybe completed 100 miles total on my Paramount. But hell, I was determined to get fast and to do this century thing. So one Saturday after dad got home from a morning ride I asked if I could borrow his Trek. He was hesitant but he knew I had a fire in my belly that needed to be extinguished so he agreed. Off I went, Vision shorts, borrowed pops wooden sole cycling shoes (Duwegies SP), one bottle, no food, no money, no pump, no tube, and this was pre-cell days. I dumped it in the hardest gear I could turn and hammered away….around 70 miles in I was so light headed and dehydrated I was pretty sure I was going to die but I had read articles about Eddie M. and other Euro roadies suffering to new extremes so I figured this is what I had to do too. I was far from home, a little lost and in retrospect probably in a very dangerous physical place too. I continued to push as hard of a gear as I could—youthful stupidity, an always tenacious spirit and determination to be a “bike racer” kept me going. This was my first experience with the “bonk”--it is such a horrible feeling that leaves you near powerless to do anything but I persevered and never stopped once. I rolled in after dark with 104 miles on the odometer completed, mom was worried about me and how I looked and pops was concerned about his bike. I looked and felt like death. I ate for an hour straight, fell asleep in the clothes I rode in, slept 14 hours, woke on Sunday and did it all over again. This is what I did every weekend for next few months. I probably completed more centuries during that period then all other of my centuries combined.

That next summer (91’) I competed in the very first Wilderness 101 at age 16. They almost did not let me enter being so young and all but I convinced them and I think I got 5^th and went back the following two years getting a 4^th and a 15^th—I forget what order.

So here we are some 18 years later and my life seems to be in a vacuum. I ride a lot, race 100 miles on my mountain bike, I have no girlfriend and have worse game then I did back in 91 and sadly I still experience the “bonk” from time to time. Sadly, I experienced it twice at this years addition of the Wilderness 101 mixed with 4 flats. Yes fan, the 09 Wilderness was disappointing for Chrissy.

Race snap shot:

Start to aid station #1: feeling like crap for the first hour, could not climb at all, had fun with BunnyAid Station #1-#2: Bunny and I caught approx.5^th-15^th in the SS class, I was beginning to feel better, until I didn’t, Bunny along with 5-6 SSers dropped me but I chugged away.

Aid Station #2-#3: I fell completely apart—the “bonk” I have not experienced one like this since back in the day, had to stop for 15 minutes, regrouped, started catching back on.

Aid station #3-#4: shit talked with Tomi and JP, feeling ok, new goal get in under 9hrs (in 08’ I was 8h8min), flat #1, got passed a lot, jumped on with Cheryl, started feeling like a fast guy again

Aid Station #4-#5: climbed out station 4 like a champ, caught many folks, started thinking maybe a top 10 in SS after all, flat #2, #3 and 4, fire is gone, “bonk” again, I cry.

Aid Station #5-finish: cry, rally, cry some more.

A disappointing day indeed but I still have that never quit youthful tenacity so I will live to fight another day.

Team wrap up:

Bunny: got star struck by Hippy Sue and was out sprinted for 2^nd leaving her with 3^rd. She still seemed very stoked. Beat Gunnar and I too.

Gunnar: unraveled in the latter half ending up 9^th SS 40 something over all-disappointed

Chrissy: 21^st SS 60 something overall-very disappointed.

JR: finished his 1st 100 miler. We are very proud of our big buddy.

Next up Big Bear Ultra (50 miler) followed by Fools Gold 100 down in Georgia.

It was a fun weekend even with the disappointment. Chris Scott and his crew rock, big ole thanks.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

Yes, we have been racing...

2009-07-28T12:41:00.003-04:00

Welp fan, we have been racing every weekend since April so we have been too busy to write much. We all are riding well. One of us, Chrissy, keeps having endless bad luck! Stupid flats. Well, that's racing and ain't nuttn' you can do about it other then keep your head up and ignore your DS's criticism(Remember your luck last year sir?). We all got some wins and many podiums so yippy!!! The WVMBA series is a nail biter for all of us. Bunny is leading the ladies but Cassie S. is keeping her honest, Gunnar has 2nd in the P/ex but is hardly comfortable and could grab 1st and Chrissy finds himself in a similar place as the oldman in the SS. Are we ruining are chances by chasing the NUE series for the next month? Maybe, but its all good cuz it is all fun. So get out there too!!!

See ya at the 101 this weekend. Check it fan, we got a little press.
http://www.mtntouring.com/mountain/htm/home/page_home.htm

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

Wednesday at Wakefield: training race series

2009-07-15T23:46:00.002-04:00

Bunged up the SS race.
Passing for third....said on your left...he came left...boom bam ouch.
Back to 6th, chased...every one knows the local lines since this is the 4th week..chase some more.
Back to 4th with 3rd and 2nd in my grasp.
Down hard real hard...rung my bell, some good flesh lost and a burped tyre.
DNF SS: back to the van to fix the tyre proper before the p/ex
Less excitement in the p/ex.
Need an 18T to compete: Upper mid pack.
Good training and FUN!!!!
Thanks Potomac Velo it was a hoot!!!

Ran into Harlan: East Coast fast endurance dude and all around nice guy.
He has been asked to represent the US in Austria for marathon worlds.
Super cool.
USAC won't pay for anything including his jersey....USAC SUCKS!!!
Congrats Harlan!!!!

Had a burrito at Chipotle.
Got asked what team I play for by a nice gay gentlemen.
I am dirty and bloody and I still get hit on by gay guys....CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bright side, gay guys are typically fit and good looking.
So I must be fit and good looking.
At least I have that going for me.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

WE ALL ARE WINNERS!!!

2009-06-30T23:36:00.005-04:00

Welp fan, the team has been sweeping the podium all over the country this past weekend.

The Shogren’s are down in Lou-ville, Ky for road Natz. And I am happy to report that after three attempts they have won the Stars and Stripes in the tandumb race. Yippee, NATIONAL CHAMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some late breaking news: Gunnar got 6th in his age grade race today (June 30). Great job team!!!!!! Check it...youtube interview

The rest of the team—JR, MikeyY and I…Chrissy tackled the Visitpa.com MTB festival up near Harrisburg, Pa. I am still deciding, but it may have been the hardest single day of riding and racing I have ever done. Two wins in two days though…yippee!!! Friday night was a wicked fun Night TT. I under estimated the distance but still won SS-Solo and 6ish Solo overall. MikeyY and his Teammate Wes S. got 2nd Duo while JR snapped some shots. Saturday was the real test. 9hr SS-Solo for myself, 9hr Solo for JR and Mike was doing Duo with Wes. It was a 8 mile killer loop. 95% of the course was single-double track that was incredibly twisty and slow with no less then 20 logs to bunny hop every lap. I had a horrible first two laps do to stomach cramps but after a 5 minute porta-john break things went well and off I went. I suffered at new levels and found a new pain locker to play in. JR rode like a champ and did his longest MTB ride. Not bad for a Clydesdale that just stopped smoking last year...you rock JR!!!
So the weekend wrap up….RESULTS
FRIDAY NIGHT TT:
MikeyY: 2nd Duo
Chrissy: 1st SS-Solo 6ish Solo
SATURDAY:
MikeyY: 2nd Duo 12hours
JR: 25th 9hr Solo
Me, Chrissy: 1st 9hr SS solo 4th 9hr Solo overall 9h51min, 10 laps, 80 miles and bunny hopped 100+ logs

I am pretty darn tuckered out. Time for some R&R with the family.

And a big ole' thanks goes out to Mike Kuhn, his family and the Visitpa.com crew--we were treated great and the event kicked booty. I'll put this one on the 10' schedule for sure.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

A boy and his dog: Appalachian Classic WVMBA #5

2009-06-22T19:44:00.004-04:00

Welp fan, if you were not one of thousand adoring fans lining the course this weekend at the Appalachian Classic (WVMBA#5) you certainly missed out. A time trail, bike polo, short track followed up on Sunday with a wicked hard yet super duper fun cross country race. A cornucopia of cycling pleasure by-golly.

I was feeling a little tired from the 24Hours of Big Bear and perhaps a little not-so-mid-season-yet-mid-season fatigue so I decided to skip the TT and just do the short track Saturday. It was a blast with a mix of fast SS and geared guys duking it out. It aint racing unless you are rubbing ya know and that is what short track is all bout’, yes sir. I rode ok, had a Kool-aid-grin ear to ear underneath that drool and ended up fifth. Short track racing is hard especially when you are lacking some of that top end gitty-up, which I am.

The Shogren’s headed up the Lumberjack in Michigan so I was running solo this weekend minus the company of BFF Jackie. She and I had a sweet little camping spot all nice, quiet and to ourselves. The solitude of the forest allowed for some nice Chrissy yoga and meditation, Buddha would be smiling. And BFF Jackie had many critters to smell and cool holes to dig. We were happy, it was a good day!

Sunday’s cross country went well. I was a little concerned 'bout my legs or lack of them, as it seemed as though I left them last weekend at Big Bear. I hit the woods around 6th overall and 1st SS. Scott Root, a master on a SS, and Morgan Miller (2nd SS) were breathing down my neck as the gear’d fellars started to pull away. Scott and I took turns at the front eventually gapping youngster Morgan. Scott and I duked it out in what was quite the nail-biter from my point of view. He was kicking my ass on the climbs both pedaling and running while I was stronger on the flats and on the technical stuff. By the start of lap 3 he had gapped me pretty good. Ugh!! But ahh yeh, I spotted him on the long road climb and buried myself to bridge up . DROOL!!! Shoot, he hit the woods about 10 seconds ahead of me so I let it all hang out through the stream bed—rock garden. Alas the last muddy hike-a-bike…Scott is walking so I begin a hard run. He glances back, does an incredulous double-take, and begins to run too. He crested and hopped on his bike while I still had a few more running strides to go…eekk…Morgan is at the bottom of the climb too. A 1 ½ -2 mile drag race ensues. Drool and lactate acid is ah-plentiful. Scott gets me by 10 seconds and the corrupted Night Club youngster Morgan came in less then a minute behind. Good work guys--it was a fun battle. And I do believe I am finally seeing last years fitness showing, about time!!!

The Appalachian Classic is the kind racing event that brought most of us into this sweet lifestyle. Boat loads of hard racing that is topped by boat loads more of fun. Grassroots and pretty dang sweet. Thanks JR!!!

The team is parting ways again this weekend. The Shogren’s are hitting Road Natz while JR and I will be meeting up with Bi-atch-at-large MikeyY in Pa. for a VisitPa.com 9 hour racing epic. See ya out there fan.

WEEKEND ROUND UP
Chrissy 1st SS and 6th Pro/ex, yippee….win #3 for the season and time to retire.
Betsy 1st at the Lumberjack (almost beat Gunnar again)
Gunnar 5th SS and more shitty luck (and almost got beat by Bunny again)

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

24 Hours of Big Bear (WV)

2009-06-16T17:24:00.005-04:00

Welp fan, the WVMBA Dream Team (s) pulled it off yet again in 09. The ladies won the women's Pro/Ex class and got 6th overall and we boys took 1st in Pro/ex and 1st overall by a small 18 minute margin. It was a hard fight but it was a hoot.

The 24-Hours of Big Bear, in some ways, is the OG of 24 hour racing format. It is no longer in Davis but it is still in West “by god”. And yes, our Director Sportif, Gunnar, did that OG race while his lovely bride was still in elementary school (ed. she was almost out of HS). I do believe there is a pic kicking around on FB. I’ll have to look into that. So thanks Laird for starting this wacky and hard racing format.

So the race…

I picked the short straw or something and got to do the first lap run, yippee!! Off we went. I got to my bike around 20th and hit the trails on my bike around 10th. I found my mark, Benji (a fellow fast single speeder), just up the trail and off I went.

Benji, Goose, Cassie getting ready to kick some booty

I was riding well but not stellar. I “burped” my tire twice, Big-Aired it quick and took a very hard crash all of which probably added 1-2 minutes to my 1st lap time. I did come in 11 seconds behind the 1st guy in our class and somewhere near the top ten overall. Not bad considering the mishaps. My big concern was my swollen knee….and off Gunnar went for lap #2.

We all rode pretty solid and consistent for the whole event. The boys from Kansas City (Star Spangled Bangers) who were in our class and the WV Night Club (a 5 man just for fun team) boys kept us on our toes for the full 24 hours with the KC boys creeping to an inch or 6 minutes of us in the wee-hours of the AM. Most of their team was equal to or a little slower then us, but man this one dude Cameron Chambers was putting in some crazy fast lap times every lap. It was rather impressive and frustrating.

Gunnar "Older than Dirt", Steve Heeel and Nate-Dog rode like champions— all A+ game, consistent and strong. I, on the other hand, gave a 100% but I am afraid I came up a little short and only brought my B or maybe B+ game. Whether it was the lingering illness from the week before or whether I only just rode “ok” not “stellar" which is required when others are relying on you, who knows. Maybe it was bringing a knife to a gun fight—a single speed against Pro geared guys. My laps were 2-3 minutes slower then I feel they should have been. My body was not responding to the efforts like it normally can and I was pretty sure Gina and JR weren’t gunna let me go out on my last lap (#5) because I looked so bad. And I am pretty sure I felt worse then I looked but I knew once I was on my bike I could get the job done. I dug deep and left everything I had out on the trail, taking many risks on the rocks, climbing hard and running all the SS-hike-a-biking on that final lap, losing little time, and giving Gunnar plenty of time to fix his two final lap flats with little concern.

Done!

The ladies team rode flawless from all the accounts I heard by the campfire. Their lap times were just as fast as most of the elite men's and they looked puurrrty doing it. Well done, ladies. Bunny may have to elaborate.

Robbie L., our wrench, did some sweet ass bicycle magic on the boys' bikes and Tim R. did a killer job keeping the ladies running smooth. And we all relied heavily on Dan C., Jeff S., Collin, Chad L. ,Robbie's Dad Steve, and the other Schooley VIP suite loiterers that kept our morale up and got us to the starting line on time. Whether they were tired and/or drunk (or ingesting HAPPY Harrisonburg brownies) they all did a killer job. Big thanks!!

Other Team Bi-atch notables is JR with his merry band of big boys crushing literally and figuratively all the clydesdale competition. Awesome job JR and Smokin' Fatties!!

As usual the WVMBA regulars proved once again that they are some of the hardiest MTBing souls around.

WVMBA regulars highlights:
- WVMBA Dream Team Women 1st Pro/6th overall
- WVMBA Dream Team Men 1st P/ex men 1st overall
- WV Night Club: 2nd overall 1st 5 person SS something or other
- Waite Brothers and Pittsburgh Pro (times 2): 1st-3rd Duo/pro
- Old man Vernon, Matt M. Matt R. and Scott R.: 1st 45+, 10th overall and beat the 35+’s
- Chrissy B. Pittsburgh Pro 2nd Solo female
- JR and his crew: 1st Big Boy’s
- Cougars and Cubs
- And many more

Shout outs and big ole thanks:
- Biggest thanks to JR and WVMBA for putting together this motley crew of characters for the two WVMBA Dream Teams

JR getting some lovin'

- Mark Schooley of Big Bear Lake and family for allowing us in the VIP “oh so pro”suite and treating us like family and “oh so pro”
- Robbie L., Steve L., Tim R., Collin, Chad L., Dan C., Jeff S. and all the others that helped and loitered with us fire-side
- Cheryl S., Cassie S., Sue H., Steve H. and Nate A. for joining with Team Bi-atch for this fun family affair…and winning
- The boys from KC: those guys are wicked fast and kept it interesting
- The WV Night Club: for being your bad selves
- Our Cannondale Factory mate Brandon G. crushing it in the solo class
- Laird and Grannygear
- And to all that came out to play. Whether you were in “it to win it” or just finish we all suffered together and it all hurts the same

Swappin' stories

Cool pics...

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

HELP WANTED: 24 Hours of Big Bear

2009-06-05T10:15:00.000-04:00

The WVMBA Dream Teams (Yes, still pretentious for us) are back for the 2009 24 Hours of Big Bear with a few modifications to the roster. And yes, we will be rocking up in the sweet “oh so pro” 5 star resort area again. That’s how we roll!!!!!!!

WVMBA Dream Team Ladies: Returning: Cassie “one fast momma” Smith and Betsy “out of a 2 week retirement” Shogren. The new additions Cheryl “the masher” Sornson and some newbie named Sue Haywood (We have googled her name for results but have not found any). JR seems to think she is fast.

WVMBA Dream Team men: Returning: Chrissy “one gear is enough” McGill. The new additions: Gunnar “older then coal” Shogren, Steve Hill and Nathan Annon.

HELP WANTED for all of us: Nanny: to wake us, lube our chains, cook and keep up the morale. Being good with kids is a must. Chrissy and Gunnar bicker a lot and are very child like.

HELP WANTED for Chrissy only: someone who smells good, doesn’t eat a lot and can easily be carried. A “she” is preferred. A qualified candidate should be willing and able to tell him what a cycling stud he is even if she doesn’t mean it or he isn’t. Chain lubing, tube patching and being bi-lingual are a plus.

Please apply. Qualified applicants will be notified by Monday June 8th. We will be out of the office all weekend road racing and mountain bike racing.
Team Bi-atch/ByBc/ WVMBA Dream Team thank you for your consideration.

Buy Cannondale

Mohican 100: The Flat Tyre Festival

2009-06-01T22:04:00.008-04:00

Well fan, this past weekend we hit the Mohican 100 in the sweet rolling hills of central Ohio. Some of the nation's heaviest hitters with and without gears were there to strut their stuff. It was truly impressive especially with a big NORBA/USAC race occurring on the same weekend here in the east. Garth and Ryan certainly put on one sweet ass event.

Rain, rain go away!!

Oatmeal and eggs bright and early at 5am and by golly my rear tyre was completely flat. Instead of taking the chance that the Stans would not reseal I slammed a tube in that bad boy and by 6:40 we were on the rail trail with 100’s of racers headed to Loundonville. It was a sweet little warm up and a nice way to work the jitters out.

Organized mess of a campsite.

7am and off we go!!! With a $200 KOM prime less then a mile into things we went out hard. I didn’t have great legs but I was next to the peeps I needed to be with. We hit the woods around three miles in and we would stay there for the next 30. How sweet it is that? 30 miles of super fast twisty wicked fun single track and I was with a group that made up 4-7(including Gunnar) in the SS field and we were probably in the top 30 overall…ahh yeh. Not too far in I passed Gunnar fiddling with his bike -- something he always seems to do at the start of these long races. Sadly, this would be the beginning of a long luckless day for the both of us. I hammered away making up good time. I was passing when I could, but enjoying the fast pace that the geared dudes were setting. Then Ugh, a hiss from the rear wheel, flat #2 for the day and #1 while actually in the race. I fixed it pretty quick but sadly got passed by at least 70-80 peeps. Off I went trying to make up the time I lost. I was doing good but the traffic was thick. Most were nice and let me by but a few put their elbows out so admittedly I made a few not-so-Kosher passes. I felt 4 to 5 warnings was enough? After a 25-30 minute chase I caught the group I was with when I flatted, sweet! It was a hard effort but well worth it. Then Ugh, a hiss from my rear wheel AGAIN!!! Quick fix and repeat the above. I have the same guys within view again with about 2 miles left in the woods and flat #4 for the day and #3 for the race, CRAP!! The fire in my belly was gone but I keep going. By mile 70 I began to pay for those efforts chasing but I hung tough, made the best of the day and had a blast.

Betsy caught me on the roads and she and I rode together for many miles. That was super cool. And she dragged my single speed butt down that hellish 10 mile stretch of very unfriendly SS rail trail. Thanks Bunny!!!! She finally had enough of me drafting her so she clicked down on them silly gears and dropped me like a bad habit. Go Bunny!!!

By mile 80 those post flat tyre chases had taken their effect on my lil’ legs and my head was no longer in it to win it. Then crap, Gunnar caught me. We rode tempo on the last 5-6 miles of road and exchanged stories of our crappy day. Gunnar wins: 3 flats, 3 broken spokes, patched tube, ½ mile run the WRONG way for a tube, ripped the top off his Big Ait and actually was in DFL as the Course Sweepers caught him. Then he decided to turn in the screws for the last 8 miles of trails. So off we went on a Team Bi-atch drag race through some fine single track. He got away, I caught him, he got away, I caught him then we hit the rail trail and I thought/hoped it was done. Wheelie contest for the placing sweet!!! NO, two more mean hike-a-bikes, some single track and one very sketchy down hill. He gapped me by about 45-50 seconds and then went after Betsy. With only 50 meters to go Gunnar was able to pass Betsy, smile, and let her take it in for the win (now whether or not Gunnar "let" her win, gave up, or Betsy "whooped" him good is up for much debate). All of Team Bi-atch finished with in 90 seconds of each other. And yes, Bunny girled us.
We all are riding well even with the abysmal placing Gunnar and I recorded. Stupid flats!!! Seven total for us both.

Results:
Bunny: 1st women and maybe top 40 overall
Gunny: 10th SS and maybe top 40 overall
Chrissy: 11th SS and maybe top 40 overall

Betsy has a great interview in Velonews and Gunnar got the best press of his storied career.

Up next, The Tucker County Road Race Saturday and the Hoo-Ha XXC Sunday and then the 24 Hours of Big Bear…and then….the Gypsy Lyfe until CX season. Don’t be jealous -- just get out there and do it.

Nars hit a pothole 3 days before the race. :o(

Big Ole thanks and shout outs:
- Garth and Ryan the promoters
- Mohican Adventures for letting us racers loiter on your camp grounds
- Cannondale, Uncle Rob and Matt

- Mammy and Pappy Schauer for cheering and feeding us lots of yummy food

- Shelly Brautigam for taking care of Jackie during the race
- The nice fella that gave me that third tube
- And all that came out for the fun and challenge of it all

Tired BFF Jackie

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

A single speed MTBer in the pro RFK crit..

2009-05-27T21:33:00.007-04:00

Chrissy #276

Narcissism Credit

Welp fan, Memorial Day weekend left us with out any off road racn'.
So I stayed in DC and doubled up down at the RFK crit, Masters and Pro1/2 stylie.
The Pro1/2 had a $10,000 purse so by-golly we had way too many non-day job pros there...ugh! That can only mean a whole lot butt kicking...done to me.
I stayed tough though.
I moved and shaked in the masters race but did not sprint.
Ahh come on, I race single speed mountain bikes 100 miles...I aint got no sprint!!!

Oh, I finally mtb rode on some DC area trails (it only took 4 years).
That handsome devil Roger M. and I headed out to Schaffers Farm in the Md. burbs.
Wicked fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gunnar did some crit in "Da Burg" and Bunny slept I think. And JR dug himself a big hole that he'll be climbing out of all season if he doesn't slow down.

I am headed to those country roads tomorrow to meet up with Bunny and the Director Sportiff.
Then off to the Mohican 100.
Wish us luck fan!!
Da lyfe begins.

May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

WVMBA #3: Tour Dah Lake

2009-05-18T20:44:00.006-04:00

Fan, this weekend we hit the dirt again for WVMBA #3 down at the Tour Dah Lake. We arrived on time and the race was delayed by 30 minutes so holy smokes we got to warm up. At 12:30 off we went and I hit the woods in 4th. SWEEET! I had one SS guy (Benji) in front of me, a few geared guys (which included Gunnar) got by, but I was feeling good so I kind of stayed with them, as they rode I ran up the muddy climb. About 3 miles in my rear tire "burped" but luckily the Stans seal worked, so with about 15 psi I kept motoring. I got around the 1st place SS (Benji) and found myself in 5th overall with only a few minute gap between me and the overall leaders. I had to stop 3 times to pump up my tire as it did continue to leak slowly, but I kept focused and continued the chase for the overall. The last ¾ of the race I spent alone hammering along. I rode hard and had a blast but never caught those silly geared boys. So, a 1st place SS and a 5th overall. Win number one for the season, yippy. Great times, a good pay out and some sweet trails pho-sho!!!

CHA-CHING!!!!!!

Gunnar battled in the front group of four and ended up 3rd, while Bunny got an early lead in front of some pretty fast ladies and walked away with the win, “girling” many boys in the process. We are all happy that she is out of retirement. And sickly JR beat up on the big boys. Good ride team!!!

It was a sweet weekend without spotting any turtles, but we did see a big ole Blackbear chilln' on RT79. Really, crazy I know.

In our future, a rest weekend with some road racing, the Mohican 100, Hoo-Ha Kenda Cup and the 24 Hours of Big Bear. Sweet!!!!

Some results

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

A restful "off" weekend from racing, so why not do back to back crits!?!?

2009-05-12T15:26:00.011-04:00

Well fan, it was a lovely “off” sort of past weekend. All the mountain bike race plans, three off them, were cancelled because of logistic issues or because of mother nature reaping complete hell on the trail conditions. One more weekend for this racing gypsy to sleep in his own bed was just dandy though.

But don’t fret fan, I scoured endlessly over the regional road racing calendars to find something to entertain ya and me. I headed up to the Fort Ritchie Crit in Somewhere, Maryland. Now I was expecting some ugly-suburb-monolithic-gross-industrial park setting but I was rather pleasantly surprised. After exiting the interstate I followed a rather picturesque babbling "crick" up to the gates of Fort Ritchie. The base it self aint so piteruresques but the mountains in the foreground….sweet!

The course was surprisingly pretty cool too. It was not some super macho down crit with crazy fast turns and swarming groupies but thank Buddha it was not some boring rectangle industrial park. It came complete with sixish turns, some S action, a fast hard back straight and Joe J. talking all sorts of mad smack on the P.A. My favorite, “ they are strung out like Lindsay Lohan on a Saturday night.”

In the attempt to always make myself suffer more then I need to, I decided to sign up for the Elite Masters and Elite race. Knowing that there is little chance for me to place in a crit, except in the off-chance I get in a break or the whole field crashes, I felt 2+ hours of a crit effort would replicate any effort I was missing by not racing the mountain bike this weekend. In fact, it would probably give me a better high end and speed work out. The Masters race went well I suppose. Some older pro-ish dudes from Harley got up the road, team time trialed, and lapped us. There was some grumbling in the pack as to why “proish” guys race in the Masters but hey whatever. If they are old enough so be it. Me pappy always says “you are only as fast as the company you keep” so getting your ass kicked will make you work harder next time. The masters races are always a mix bag of characters anyhow. From your pro’s or ex-pro’s to fit newbie cat 4’s that lack the pack skillz. The racing is always hard but always a little sketchy do to the mix of experience with an always endless number of gaps to fill and bridge. I did some moving and shacking but mostly was in it for the training. I sat up with a half a lap to go as a “single-speed ultra-endurance specialist” I ain't got no sprint nor do I want to mix it up for the 8th place glory. I have no wife or kids to impress.

I had an hour break before the Pro1/2 so I grabbed some food and drink and spun around for a bit. This race was full tilt from the gun, but in a way it was easier. We were constantly going harder; however, we never slowed in the turns making the accelerations out of turns a little easier. In the prior race, with the disparity in experience we’d fly into the corner brake hard and accerate equally as hard out. In this race I barely touched the brakes and only stood up coming out of the finish line turn. ..which brings me to the conclusion… With about 20 laps to go I started feel a cramping twitch forming in my right leg when standing while exiting said turn. Now in a MTB race or even a road race you can ease up shake it out…etc. But in a crit not so much. With 12 to go that baby was in full cramp mode. Now remember by this point I had been racing close to 2 hours too. I also started to get that funky pre-bonk fuzzy grey vision thing going on. And again no time to eat. So with 10 to go I felt it most prudent for the safety of myself and my fellow homies to pull out. And by that point over half the field was gone so that aint so bad. By days end I raced 63 miles in 2 hours. Yup, it hurt!! Not bad for some silly mountain biker…what what!!

Alas we hit the dirt this coming weekend. I was supposed to do a double header but sadly the 100k on Saturday has been cancelled due to lack of participants..come on guys/gals buck up-- a 100k won’t kill ya!!! We Bi-atchs will be hitting WVMBA #3, the Tour Dah Lake. Last year we showed up 45 minutes after the start because we were saving wayward graffiti turtles. Hopefully this year we will make the start. Lastly I hope I am riding well because I am way behind in points now after skipping round 2 and we will be skipping round 4 for the Mohican 100. So I need a good finish. See ya out there!!!!

Sorry still no photos.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

Plan D: Has to work

2009-05-08T23:38:00.002-04:00

Plan A: 12 Hours of Creek to Peak: Betsy, Gunnar and I in a 3 person pro team. Bunny had a mad scientist obligation that made the logistics difficult. Gunnar is old, frail and has an AARP obligation. We dipped out.

Plan A.5: Me going at it solo. I felt my legs would be too cooked for the silliness I have planned for next weekend and we have a rough month ahead of us. I dipped out.

Plan B: A MASS race in Pa. Mother Nature worked over the trails…race cancelled.

Plan C. Some little XC race in Richmond Va. Mother Nature worked over the trails…race cancelled.

Plan D: Double day of crit racn’ up in Maryland….good training I suppose

See ya out there fan.

PEACE
Chrissy

Cohutta 100 Part 2: A bad day in the mountains of Tenn.

2009-04-27T15:44:00.010-04:00

Well fan, The Smokey Mountain’s was one hell of a perfect place to spend Earth Day weekend. I had forgotten just how beautiful this region is. The New Leaf Adventure Company was the home of the 1996 Olympic white water competition and is smack dab in the middle of some of the country's most amazing scenery fo-sho.

Goose's Ghetto-Camp

Their course was extremely physically demanding with a whole lot of gravel road riding…climb for 30 minutes, descend for 5, turn left and repeat…for 6+ hours. I certainly would have preferred more trails but man oh man did we climb a lot and the views at the top of the ridges….sweet!!!

We Bi-atch’s did not have a stellar weekend but an “ok” one. The Oldman DS and Bunny probably should not have raced due to a lingering and developing illness. Bunny has reported that she has retired from racing and will be taking up knitting. She will be missed. I fell apart BAD in between aid station 2 and 3 which resulted in me falling from 3rd with 2nd in sight to 6th. After crying for my mommy for about an hour I ate a whole lot, got it together and rallied like a champ putting myself into the pain box on my terms. Sadly, I was unable to regroup with 3rd-5th but they were flying so who knows.

By day's end, two of us made it in the prizes and one us rode in with an old fan making for one very happy old school MTBer supporter. This was not how any of us hoped or planned for but that is racing…riding hard, having fun and making the most of the experience.

Nars-- too tired to fake a smile

Bunny--note the feverish glint in her eye

Goose--looks like he needs some good homecookin' from Mammy

That is it for now.
RESULTS

Miss Jackie is begging Nars for some AC in this vehicle!!!

PEACE
Chrissy

Cohutta 100 Part1

2009-04-23T23:08:00.003-04:00

Chilln' in Blacksburg, Va in some sweet Econo Lodge.
I got interweb and HBO so no VT hippy gals for me.
Life is good.
Back on the road in the late morn.
Then reg, set up camp, ride and look for the Shogren's hopefully before midnight.
Bring beer Shogren's.
Saturday 7am start...yippee!!!

Some press too..

Cohutta 100 or bust!!!

2009-04-22T19:37:00.001-04:00

Spandex, camping gear and bike are ready to go in the morn.
Wish us luck fan!!!

Long Live Team Bi-atch and the Backyard Bike club

2009-04-21T17:35:00.001-04:00

And whatever flavour you're racing for this year.
We will remain here... forever.

WVMBA #1: Big Bear

2009-04-21T17:17:00.001-04:00

This is where you’ll find the Chrissy race reports this season fan so here we go….

Welp fan, I had a pretty good weekend of racing. I stopped by a crit in Virginia Saturday on my way to the first WVMBA race on Sunday. I was in a nice break that did not stick and it ended in a sprint so I sat up as I do not need to mix it up in that stuff these days. It was fun though. Then off to Morgantown….

Sunday was the WVMBA season opener at Big Bear. I was a little concerned about my fitness but at the end of the day I was pleased with were I am at. They had us single speeders start after the Pro/ex’s which stunk but it turned out well. The fast SSer’s had a lot of guys to plow through. I duked it out with Benji who lives literally next to the event so he knows EVERY rock and line. We were weeding our way through the geared guys when suddenly some skinny kid came bouncing by us. At first I thought it was a geared guy regrouping but shit no derailleur. I holler at Benji, he shrugs his shoulders and we continue on. I kept Benji in sight for the first 45 minutes. He helped design the course so chasing him all day kept me busy and on task. I lost sight of Benji for a bit but stayed focused and in the pain box when suddenly I caught the skinny kid, sweet I am in 2nd. I dug deep to regroup with Benji but by the end he did get the best of me so I ended up 2nd SS and 9th overall (with our delayed start). I am very happy with my fitness and riding so that is very cool. It should be a fun season and if with the turn out of over 200 riders is any indication WVMBA should have a good season too. There were many smiling new faces that are enjoying the lyfe which is great to see.

Photo Credit

Bunny got 1st, the old man 4th (Pro/ex) and Not So Fat Anymore Boy JR sandbanged and won the big boy class. Good work ByBc/Team Bi-atch/Cannondale.

We are headed out for Tennessee Thursday for the Cohuta 100 Saturday. A 100 miler in April is a little scary I have to admit. I suppose all the north-east-coasters are feeling that way though. Should be interesting. The Smokey Mountains are amazing so if anything the views should be great. It should be a painful blast no matter what. But I really feel a top 3 in the SS and a top 20 overall is very doable. Lets just see how many tan west coasters show up.

Check the 08 archives at Team Bi-atch

Shout outs and such…
- JR’s lovely almost wife Gina for running WVMBA while her slacker almost hubby races
- All that came out to ride, suffer, smile and enjoy.
- Cannondale, Matt and Uncle Rob

- Mark S. and the Big Bear family for hosting so many cool events
- The purty ladies in the woods screaming for me…us

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

Fan our 09 posts will...

2009-04-21T10:31:00.002-04:00

... be at The Backyard BikeClub blog

Save it to your favs. Enjoy!

Forget what he just said Fan.
He was mistaken.
Stay here for this.

Early season skinny tyre action!!!

2009-04-07T12:15:00.006-04:00

Well fan, I do not have any fat tire updates but I do have a little double header road racing action. Saturday I headed up to the Tour of Walkersville a 70ish mile road race near Frederick, MD. The Pro1/2 was stacked with 80+ of the Mid-Atlantics toughest roadies and me the lone MTBer. We were single file and in the gutter from minute one echeloning Belgium Euro style, man was it windy, ouch. Then bam a big ole crash only three miles in. I did not go down but I did have to pull some super macho MTBer moves that found me with my foot down facing the wrong way. Eeck, a group of 15ish got away and a group of 20ish were heading out to chase. I chased, chased and chased some more. I got with a group of about 8 guys and assumed the “main” group would catch us in a lap or two. They never did. It was a good hard training day but as for racing not really. It was an odd day because of that early wreck. Sadly, there were a few other bad wrecks with one fella getting a lift out in a helicopter. I can only hope he is ok and that was only a precaution. By days end I ended up 22nd out of the 25 that finished. An epic in the mean wind and I did the fat tire peeps proud!!! Oh, I was only one there so I did myself proud. Yay me!!

I then high tailed over to Gunnar and Betsy’s house for another road race outside of Pittsburgh, Pa on Sunday morning.

The Mingo Road is a super cool little circuit. The P1/2/3 had 40ish guys lining up pretty and early. I do believe I was the only one in this group that had raced the day before and man were my legs stiff. I was a bit afraid going up the climb on the first lap as my legs felt like 2 by 4’s. Gunnar was moving and shaking with the mover a shakers up front while I was a spectator from the pack on the first two laps. The old man flatted going into lap 3 I believe at the same time things got real macho and fast up the climb. Sweet, I found my legs and crested to climb 3rd wheel. I engaged in some minimal macho moves near the front for a few laps but we stayed as a group of about 25 for the rest of the day. Gunnar snuck back in and kept the tempo high at the front but he was a lap down so he was tying to get a way to “unlap” himself…he failed but tried real hard. It came down to a 5 abreast sprint something I had no interests in playing in. So another good workout in the books. I can not wait to hit the dirt!!!

Betsy hand her hands full with two fast lady teammates from OH. They played those crazy reindeer games with her all day. She did great getting 4th in one super fast amazing sprint.

Uncle RobV. lent me his sweet ass Super-Six road bike for a few weeks so that I could be on a Cannondale during these pre-season road race leg and lung tune up. That thing is sweet, I need to get me one of them.

So one more weekend of road racing and then the dirt with the WVMBA opener the following weekend. Ah, then down to the Cohutta 100 in Tn. for the first NUE race. I am hoping to better my 3rd place in the SS series this season.

Well that is that. Some sore legs but I am safe and smiling spreading the Cannondale love.

Time for some mall laps with grandma. Spring Break in snowy NY!!!!!

PHOTO CREDIT: stolen from fans on FB, thanks

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

It has begun!!!

2009-03-31T22:17:00.002-04:00

My gear bag is packed and at the door ready to go from now until December.
The lyfe has begun.
Such is the lyfe.
I heart the lyfe.

1 road race down
We are pre-reged for the 24hrs and Cohutta 100.
So it is on like Donkey Kong fan.
And we all look real sexy in our Italian made Cannondale kits too.
We all are too sexy.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

Big rides and Jedi mind tricks!!!

2009-02-25T20:49:00.011-05:00

Well fan, we at Team Bi-atch had our first 09’ winter camp this past weekend. It was also combined with our team’s club, The Backyard Bike Club (BYBC), training camp too.

Little did we know we'd still be going 100 miles later. Dave Light's wheel blew up early.

Saturday was a super duper cool road ride mostly out in Greene County, Pa. Betsy, Gunnar and I rode out to meet up with some folks for a pre-ride on the Morgantown Road Race course (April 11).

We rolled out with about 20 gals and guys but quickly a few guys needed to get all macho and stupid hammering away.

Big happy group of cyclists attending the 1st BYBC ride.

We heard later that they “wanted to go hard” and that it “was too sketchy” riding in group…blah blah… poop on you and you all get the gas face. Yes, Betsy and the gals would have kicked your butts up the climbs and yes they will kick your butts on April 11...GAS FACE!! Anyway, it was road bikes and we all know what happens when boys and road bikes get together. Sometimes riding with others who share the passion and teaching them the ropes is better then getting the right amount of Jiggawatts out of your Fluxcapacitor. Either way, each group did its thing and we all had fun, we were all riding our bikes in the hills.

Some of the flora of WbgV.

So Betsy, Gunnar, JR, Laura, Keen, Matt Marcus, Auvid, Siera, Tricia and I rode hard, climbing a lot, chatted and had whole lot of wicked fun. The course is mean and will truly test your climbing form. Team Bi-atch left the Backyard Bike Club after 60 miles and went on down the road knocking out a century in mid-Febuary. 7 hours of saddle time and over 8 of chamois time, what what. Awesome day, with equally awesome peeps.

I got to play a little Jedi mind tricks on Yoda Gunnar too.
I flatted half way through the ride and the following occurred.

That bug rode on Goose's forehead for 100 miles.

Me: Shit, Fulcrum rims suck for getting tires off (they really do)and I only have one tire lever.
Gunnar, Matt and Kean: All chime in…you sissy, wimp….blah blah…do it with your hands.
Me: After getting 3 screws in my thumb last year I do not have that strength and again these Fulcrum rims suck.
Gunnar: You F-ing &^%$ give me that.
(He tries to remove the tire with out a lever and fails. He grabs the tire lever, swears at me and struggles but is successful.)

Me: They are just as hard to put back on. Sometimes you have to use a lever.
Gunnar, Matt and Kean: F-ing….blah, blah….you wimp…we can do it.
Me: ok
(Gunnar begins wrestling with it failing miserably. Matt helps and finally the TWO of them get the tire on the rim.)

My flat is fixed and I did nothing.
The force is strong in this one it is!!!..hehe

Goose and Bunny at the 100 mile mark.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

100 miles!

It pains me to say that gunnar and Jackie were the last two standing this weekend.

Tour of California...wait for us

2009-02-14T10:35:00.004-05:00

Crap, our ds DS Gunnar did it again. Just like last year he got the Tour of California dates wrong.
Do you see our names?
http://www.velonews.com/article/87172/tour-of-california-releases-final-rosters-for-the-race

Thats right, no!!
I guess we will have to stick to the dirt.

Ok, more coffee and a 4 hour fixie ride!!!

Maybe next year. Tear it up Floyd, do it for your dirt roots!!!

Winds are blowing indeed

2009-02-10T21:31:00.003-05:00

And that means that it's time to start paying more attention to your-
Riding and Drinking.

Head on over to Cycle-Dumb to be refreshed, reconstituted, reconditioned, and regurgitate.

Yeah boy.

The Winds of Change

2009-01-20T23:10:00.015-05:00

Sorry for the lack of updates fan. Things have been slow over here at the Road and Cross-headquarters in DC. And since I did not go CX natz SOMEONE else was in charge of giving an update…Ehm!

The 09 training has begun. The Director Sportiff and Bunny have been riding a bit and turning in the screws on Sundays at the Bakers ride in Morgantown. I have been running a lot, XC skied a bit while I was in NY for the holidays and began riding this past weekend (10+hours in 3 days aint bad especially on a fixie). MikeY, member at large, I am sure is taking care of him self in between diaper duty. Our newest member Pickleboy AKA Fatboy AKA JR who is still on probation ,well, has had an endless list of excuses as to why he has not been doing too much. But we forgive him. He is new to the Bi-atch Lyfe.

So today I headed out after watching all the Obama action on the tellie. I was hoping to ride for 2-2.5 hours and then head down to the National Mall by 3ish to see and be apart of some of the tail-end action. I headed out and did my “bike racer” ride and then hopped on the Capitol Crescent trail that connects Rockville, MD to Georgetown (Wash,DC). On a normal warm day this trail can be packed with all sorts of folks enjoying themselves. On this cold and nasty day it was pretty empty. Only the hardiest of soul would be out. You know us macho racer types (only saw one other), the most dedicated commuter, the messengers and those that see a bike purely as a utilitarian device because they have too. It was not a kind day to be riding.

As I was making my way down the path excited by the change in the frozen air I began passing swarms of cyclist not dressed in fancy lycra or super cool Pearl Izumi this and that. Many were dressed more for skiing then cycling but the majority were in “street” cloths, way under dressed for the ride home they had before them after a long day on the National Mall. They all looked cold but all had smiles as they like me felt the change in the air. I waved to all with a smiling howdy. Most returned the pleasantry, many seemed surprised by the lycra-clad cyclist being polite and happy, and all were huffing up what can be a bit of tough climb from Georgetown. We were all sharing in the same emotion. The change in the air and the freedom of being on two wheels. Now many of these bikes won’t see the light of day for another few years after today but I am certain many will be out again this spring because it will help people remember this day. A day that saw change on so many levels and people will want to relive that. Relive a time change and time of freedom that they experienced while riding on a cold winter day in January. Smiles a-plentiful!!!

Pretty darn cool indeed!!!

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

Its a wrap!!!

2008-12-09T20:20:00.008-05:00

Fan, sadly the 08 season has come to an end. Probably not soon enough for this Bi-atch as my cross form fell just as hard and fast as my bike and I did on many occasions during the fall cross campaign (pulled out of the last race this past weekend because simply I was just pooped). I’ll stick with the excuse that I was racing with a broken wrist since October too. That works right?

Chrissy's Cross season form diagram!!

We raced a few thousand miles, pedaled a few thousand more and traveled even thousands more. Close to 60 races that included four 100 milers, a 24 Hour race, a few double days, a few double days that turned into triple weekends, Bunny jumped in a stage race and many, many more. Many hotel rooms, sleeping in vans, all of us sleeping in the same van and many nights in the tent, such is “the lyfe”. We mostly had good days but we did have a few disappointments but all was fun because we were riding and racn’ our bikes.

Aside from the cross season for me, we Bi-atch’s had a rather stellar season over all. Between us all we mustered up a few state and regional championships (WVMBA and MABRA) and two top three’s in the NUE Series, oh some one won a "stars and stripes" too. Not bad for some easy going type B’s in a world dominated by too many hyper-serious type A’s.

Betsy had a near flawless season. She had a mid-season set back with a banged up thumb and a mild illness but still made the podium in almost every thing she entered (we won’t count the MAC final, ok Bunny). The grumpy ole Director had a month long something-or-other mid-season but has crushed ever since. Especially during cross, the geezer has been untouchable. He should of probably raced Elite. And me Chrissy, had a sickly set back for road nationals but rode pretty darn good most of the time on the mountain bike (we won’t include cross for me, remember BROKEN wrist :), hehe).

12am repairs the night before the MAC finals! Saturday Night Live with John Malkovich too

So as the Shogren’s and many other’s are getting ready for one last go of it out in KC for CX natz its time for me to kick back, allow a few injuries to finally mend proper like and do a little chilln’. No pedaling until the new year and in general little to no “training” type silliness for at least two or three weeks.

To occupy my time I’ll be doing some Facebooking and reading the 9 year old, Alec Greven’s book, “How to Talk to Girls”. The Director insisted becoming a super-duper macho SS racer would land me some ladies. It didn’t, so hopefully the precocious young Greven can help me out. Wish me luck , I have a little over a month to perfect my moves before the kinda disciplined “the lyfe” starts in earnest.

Don’t worry though fan, our antics will continue all winter. As I am sure we will have a few Mo-town winter camps and heck the first races start in Feburary, damn that’s soon. And of course, I am sure the Shogren’s will give us a detailed account of their journey to KC, ehm!!!

BFF Jackie!!!

So that’s that, watch out DC I have two weeks to raise holy hell. You know me, a beer while Facebooking, F-ing crazy!!!!

If you missed any of the 08 campaign read the archives. Truly Inspirational!!

Big ole thanks and shout outs...
Uncle Rob, Uncle Matt, and Cannondale
The peeps that put on the NUE races and series especially Chrissy Scott.
Our mate and dieting lil buddy JR for putting on a kick arse WVMBA series. Don't let them get you down.
To all that get out there and do it up.
Our Fan, you rock!!!
Da Shogren's: Kick Ass in KC!!!!
BFF Jackie for waking me up way too early when I stay at the summer race home in Mo-town

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE Chris

No C-Ville for us!

2008-12-06T14:19:00.005-05:00

What a hunk!!!

We missed the Va. CX finals today for a number of reasons. The biggest we are all tired. The saddest part is not missing another race but that we won't be getting a sweet T-shirt with the picture of that hunky fella on it.

Tomorrow we will be at Reston CX which will be the official end of the season for me but really it ended at the last MTB race back in September. The Shogren's will be headed out to KC for nationals before pulling the plug on 08 season. I am sure they will be coming home with at least 2 Stars and Stripes or the beatings will be O-plenty.

If there are any extra Va. finals Tee's bring them on over to Reston tomorrow. I am sure they will be worth a lot. That hunk might even sign a few.

Oh, we wanted to give a big ole public thanks to the good folks that put on the NUE series and their nice sponsors Smith and Nephew for the sweet and unexpected early Christmas gifts that Betsy and I received in the mail. You guys rock and are doing great things to keep our sport and passion alive.

See every one tomorrow. Dress warm, ride hard and have smiles.

PEACE Chrissy

Crossn'

2008-11-26T20:27:00.004-05:00

There is cross racn’, cross dressn’ and cross trainn’ and we at Team Bi-atch do them all on occasion. Some of us do certain ones more then others, Gunnar get out of Betsy’s closet.

Well Fan, with the cross racn’ season coming to an end I decided to start a little cross trainn’ yesterday. I did 10, yes count them 10 push-ups. Now these push ups were quite pathetic too. Maybe one or two would have met the approval of a drill sergeant. It’s a start right?

So this morning my arms were so sore I could barely lift my coffee mug. I am a big sissy!!!!

Now go ride, it is way easier then push-ups.

PEACE

Chrissy the sissy

Did it again.

2008-11-24T19:19:00.010-05:00

On Crashing:

You will crash often.

Don't worry, we all do it.

You will ride again.

A lovely Haiku brought to you by Bunny over on our training blog Cycle Dumb Training. It seems as though I have been living this Haiku creed this cross season or as my nice friends and Team mates seem to think, all season. On Saturday, I did it again out at Superior Cross. After a minute or less of very hard racing, bam, the kid in front me went down wicked hard and I had no where else to go but down with him all tied up in his bike ending with some pretty good damage to me and his sweet Obrea. I normally bounce back from these things within seconds but this one was particularly violent. I slowly got up with one very sweet chainring tattoo on my rib cage which is also turning a nice shade of purplish green, 3 matching chainring tat's on my leg with the last and deepest gash ending 2 inches from my junk also turning a purplish green, an apple size swollen hip topped with a big ole gash and yes I landed on the recently recovered broken wrist. Day over.

"You will ride again"

So I did race Sunday a bit achy and sore. Did my injuries slow me who knows but I did ride again, near the back for most of the day, but I did ride again. I'll blame the injuries for my poor ride, the Director will not.

Even with my new aches and Tat's it was a good weekend. Gunnar took the C3 boys to school winning our race, Betsy had a fun time keeping Libby S. in check winning her race and I did wheelies for Gwadz's blog which I did NOT make it on.

Stole from the amazing Joel

Only a few more weekends left and the 2008 race campaign will be officially over until March(I think the first NUE 100 miler is in April, yippee) Some needed RR, movie watching and weekends of sleeping in are in store for sure.

Thanks Team Haymarket and Coppi for two sweet CX races. I may have my gripes about living in DC but we do have a lot of road and cross racn'.

PEACE
Chrissy Crash A-Lot

The Rumors are True.

2008-11-21T22:11:00.004-05:00

gunnar has gone back to bar-end shifters. (only he didn't the fancy-schmancy carbon ones)

Next time you see him, don't forget to give him a "drive-by shifting!"

Mercer Cup USGP, "Dirty Jersey" style

2008-11-19T22:41:00.004-05:00

The USGP was a mean, muddy mess that had me run, run and run some more. I rode a little, flatted twice, had some poor pit experiences, lost 10 places, ran some more but had a blast. Caked mud, salty drool and Kool-Aid smiles galore.

On Sunday, I did much of the same but with one less flat, a bit more riding, and 30 less degrees. I do think I had bigger Kool-Aid smile too. I love the Lyfe!

It was the meanest, baddest, droolingest weekend of cross so far this season, but man was it wicked fun.

MikeyY (Team Bi-atch member at large crushed) both days along with some fellow WVMBA homies: Gerry, Andy, SteveO, JP and The Step Child-all heroes too.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE
Chris

Broken Wrist Re-Visited

2008-11-17T17:43:00.004-05:00

Just got back from my Orthopedic Doc and I am happy to report all is well. He gave me the thumbs up to begin riding and racing again, yippee. I guess I do not need that body double who has been filling my SPD shoes in this seasons Cross campaign anymore.

Time to clean my CX bikes. This past weekends USGP that I did not race in really tore them up.

See you this weekend as the real Chrissy will be racn'. Be afraid, really, really, afraid!!!!

PEACE
CHRISSY

....USGP race report will be coming soon but don't tell my Doc.

URBAN CROSS

2008-11-11T12:20:00.010-05:00

Well fan, this past Saturday the Team and I decided to take a break from the MAC series. We all just chilled in our respective cities and rode a little. I headed out on the cross bike to Great Falls on the C &O. It is ride I did a lot last fall but with all the CX racn’ we have been doing this season I have not had a chance. It is beautiful out back ride 3+-hour ride. The views are amazing, the route peaceful and the smells this time of year are wonderful. It makes me forget that I live in major city. That is until of course you get close to Great Falls and you hit mad hiker/tourist’s. Oh well.

Concrete Jungle!

Race Day…. I headed down to Charlottesville, Va. Sunday morning for Urban Cross. The lay out of the course was certainly unique…. lots of gravel-pavement, concrete obstacles, an abandon factory, two steep b#%l buster climbs, two-stair runs and one over sized litter box.

Go Director!!

The racn’ was a hoot. JR raced in the morning and did very well. He is hooked. Gunnar and I raced next in the Masters Elite. I was feeling like a CX rockstar for the first 30 minutes but I quickly started to move backwards but still finished with in a minute of the 6 or 7 guys ahead of me. It was fun racing with all the position swapping and such. The Director killed it and rode away from us early on and never looked back. Good jerb Old Geezer (I held Bernie back for ya…Happy B-Day...you owe we half the winnings). Then it was Bunny’s turn. A couple of the ladies swapped the lead with her for a lap or two but eventually Betsy rolled away. Go Bunny!! It’s not over yet; Gunnar and I decided to jump in the Elite race too. He duked it out for 3rd and I yo-yoed between 8th-10th. We both landed in the money, yippee.

Go Me, Chrissy!

Then off to dinner, to see Edgar Allen Poe, ok his old dorm room and we also had an improntu campus lesson from a nice UVA co-ed. Mad Da Vinci Code shit going on there. UVA certainly has a beautiful campus with many nice peep's that were happy to show us around. I miss the mountains and small-town college town life :(.

School is in session. Go Bunny!!!

Urban Cross was certainly a cool venue. It will defiantly be on the Bi-atch calender next season and it should be on yours too. Thanks Blue Wheel Bicycles.

And today I relax. Fan you may just think we are just super-duper-macho bike racers as we do live the “pro lyfe” more often then most but I am also a mind molder by day and have the day off, yippee!! Ok, time for more coffee and to start thinking about riding.

Oh, congrat's Team member at large Mikey Y. for riping it up in the MAC races in "dirty Jersey" and to JR for his bike racn' TV debut.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE
Chris

Lots of Cross in Merry-Land!!!

2008-11-03T17:41:00.009-05:00

The Team took on two fronts Saturday. Bunny, The Director and Pickle Boy tore it up in Morgantown and I held it down on the MAC front out in Fairhill, MD. I had all my cold weather gear packed but man did it turn out to be a beautiful day. The course was a hoot, twisty gravel turns, into the hen house, over the barriers in the pavilion, lots of sand riding all while some killer DJ spun the vinyl, ok did shit on a laptop. As for my race, well, lets just say I had a fun hard training ride. But it was a whole lot of jolly fun. As is the "lyfe" is supposed to be.

Trying this new thing called warming up!

Sunday we Bi-atchs all converged in Merry-Land for the Kelly Benefits CX race in Rockburn, Merry-Land. The course was pretty F-ing rad with lots of elevation change, tons of turns, some double track MTB style, a cool sand pit, a wicked fast down hill and a table top-hip jump too. I got all crossed up over it on a few laps. If you aint gonna win you best look good. Gunnar crushed it and won our race, Betsy had a great race against MelanieS. and yes Powderpuff was the victor, JR in his 3rd CX race did great even with some starting line troubles and I mustered up a descent ride.

Betsy just finished up Cipollini style!!!

Its funny, the MABRA folks think I am some single track riding freak hill billy from WV while the WV folks think I am a DC roadie. Who do I belong to? Probably to the mountains.

The Director impressing Cougars with his
Justin Timberlake moves! Not bringing sexy back though.

The weekend was full of lots of drool and smiles. Hope you got to see us fan.
Now get out and vote!

PEACE CHRISSY

NBC!!

2008-10-30T22:01:00.003-04:00

Nothing But Cross!

Well except for cruising to town, or running across the street w/ Jackie, or playing w/ that new frame...
But besides that-
Nothing But Cross.

What part of Nothing don't you understand Chris?

The Lord Baby Bi-atch!!

2008-10-29T22:42:00.004-04:00

Hath been born-ed.
Finally and foresakingly for real.

Little Isaac Yozell.
Cheering his bad little self on to another successful... something!

Yay Team!
Go Sport!

DCCX Weekend!!

2008-10-27T17:12:00.003-04:00

Yippee fan, I got to stay in my own bed this past weekend. At least Friday night. I let Jackie and the Shogren's have the bed Saturday night. The race, a cross race just up the street, kinda: up the alley, down Newton, zig-zag, left on 16th, right on Upshur a couple of stop signs and there. See right up the street.

It was a beautiful day, a kick ass course and an absolute hoot of a venue. Great racn', tasty ale, fries and one sexy cheerleader.

Sexy Beast!!!!

Gunnar and I decided to do the Elite Masters and Elite race. I would say about seven other's decided to give the double header a go. From what I can tell only three of us finished both: Michael G. (who got 2nd in both, way tougher then us), Gunnar (4th in the Elite Masters and pack fodder in the Elite) and Me, Chrissy(pack fodder in both). It's training for MTB season right? It was all fun yet painful. Smiles and drool was plentiful.

Betsy has been losing the fight against some illness but she managed to have a great race still and against some heavy hitters.

And we had our first "cougar" join the Cougar Fest.
It was a great weekend for sure.

Thanks DCMTB.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.
PEACE
Chris

MAC round 3 & 4...solo

2008-10-25T12:01:00.005-04:00

I headed out to round 3and 4of the MAC series (Granogue and Wissahickon) races alone this past weekend fan. The Shogren’s stayed close to home but I did meet up with Team Bi-atch member at large Mike Y. and baby Bi-atch Yozell and mom Erica.

Granogue was a hoot. It was a picturesque fall day and the course was pretty darn rad. I got there late after Google.maps and I had a small disagreement so I got to line up DFL. Sweet, with 70+ guys in front of me I could only move forward. With my warm up consisting of slamming a Redbull and a stop in at the Porta-John my expectations were high. I had a blast though, I chased down many groups, I am starting to feel like I may be developing some cross “form” as those 100 milers are still in my legs and smiles with drool was a plenty.

Beauty!!

I pitted for Mike and headed off to Gotham to visit some friends and eat some dinner.

See me? No, I am waayyy in the back!

Thanks Kevin

Then day two. I actually arrived to Wissahickon early. Wow, warming up does have certain merits but at Cycle-Dumb Training we feel its over rated. Again not pre-reging gave me a killer starting position, yippee DFL again. Fan, you know what that means. Yup, it can only get better. And it did, chase, chase, chase…bridge, bridge, bridge still just pack fodder but I feel like a CX’er kinda finally so maybe I will pre-reg next time to see if I can duke it out near the front. Again, lots of smiles and drool were had.

The wrist is getting better and so is the cross “form” yippee, maybe by December I can make the podium just in time for this long season to be officially over. I do miss the mountain bike. Over all it was a great weekend. It would have been more fun with my mates but we all need a break.

This weekend…lots of sleeping in and DCCX 5 minutes from my apartment, yay no traveling. And the old man and I will be racn' twice. What possibly could go wrong? One reason I like DC.

See you out there fan!!

Nop no how...

2008-10-24T22:16:00.002-04:00

...is your step child, the bucket of bolts, staying here with out you. I will not have it. He votes Republican!!! Ahh WTF.....!!

Jackie is welcome though. I heart Jackie.

Beer and a Movie Time!

2008-10-24T22:07:00.001-04:00

Kennebunkport Pumpkin Ale
Grilled cheese and tomato sandwich
Annie Hall

We decided to not race

2008-10-24T21:51:00.002-04:00

This weekend.

We just want to ride our mountain bikes around.
See ya!

A Weekend at Home???!!!!

2008-10-23T20:13:00.003-04:00

Chris and Mike were the only Bi-Atchs representing this weekend at the MAC races. I guess Goose hasn't updated, because gunnar told him to cut out his whining. Like racing with a broken wrist hurts or something...

Anyhow, rumor has it that Goose got a glimpse of the little Baby Bi-Atch, but since I haven't seen a picture yet, I don't know if I believe it.

Extentuating circumstances, namely lingering strep throat and developing bronchitis, as well as the need to do some socializing, saw the Shogren's at home this past weekend. Regardless, we still managed to throttle ourselves. On Sat. we did "Coal Cross," in homage to our new favorite cross race. We rode up to Cooper's Rock, where we encountered about a bijilion leefpeepers and about froze our tooshies off. The ride wasn't quite as long (in length) as the Iron Cross, and was missing a few key features (such as vertical cliffs to scale with bikes and Aid Stations), but it was still quite the adventure. You can check it out HERE.

Here I am coming THISCLOSE to landing in a hefty pile of deer poop (note said pile between my hands).

Hey, is this the way to the Aid Station?

Sunday, I pretty much chased gunnar around in circles all day.

You can see that HERE.

In between all this, we visited gunnar's Bionic Dad, who now has two fake knees to go along with fake shoulders and corneas. We also visited the Klimas's, who were celebrating little Sammy's last chemo treatment with a big old happy bonfire. Sammy was in bed by the time we got there, but we were happy to celebrate the fact that he is now CANCER FREE! HALLELUJAH!! YAY, Sammy!

Next up, is DCCX (frites!), followed thereafter by Marilla Cross (nuts!).

Have a great weekend, my Friends!

Podium Place Holder

2008-10-15T18:20:00.006-04:00

Apparently, gunnar has a new talent for sitting in for racers that have missed his or her podium. Attention race promoters: I am pretty sure his services are for hire, if you find yourself with an empty spot on the podium.

Here he is sitting in for Mike Williams, winner of the 55+ IC Lite. Notice the pained expression and crick in his back. Jim Carlson, 3rd place 55+, looks a whole lot better than the old man Shogren. I'm filling in for Nunzio in second place, but not very well. Sorry, Nunzio.

Here's gunnar filling in for the 2nd placed female, Terry Spanogle. He looks quite delighted with that second place! You go, grrrl!!!

gunnar obviously knows the importance of putting a little shimmy in his shake!

A hoot at the Iron Cross...

2008-10-13T20:18:00.011-04:00

Fan it was a splendid weekend in the mountains of Eastern Pa. The foliage is changing yet the temps, during the day at least, were summer like. It was a double day of some rad racn’ . Day #1 a traditional cross race followed by day #2 a 100k cross race. It felt more like a shortened Ultra-marathon race then a cross race though.

The weekend through Chrissie’s eyes….

Day #1.

I decided to sleep in a bit so instead of doing the Elite Masters at 11am I decided to do the Elite race at 2:30pm. I headed out of DC around 11:30am for my 2-hour drive to Michaux but I needed to leave no later then 11am so I could get in a warm up, opps, they are over rated. The NPR was jamming and I was making pretty good time. I figured I would get to Michaux by 1:30, which would allow me to actually get in a warm up. Ah, but I saw an old-timer struggling at a rest stop with his car jack so I decided to help out and change his tire for him (weekend FLAT #1). I arrived around 2 hopped on my bike said hey to Gunnar and off racn’ I went. The spiral off death was a hoot, Gunnar heckled, Betsy encouraged, JR snapped photo’s and I had fun popping wheelies and drooling on myself.

The Team got some sweet digs right near the finish line for our camping pleasure. We were certainly the envy of the campgrounds. We advertised for the cougar festival but no one showed. It was a great spot but man did our bunkhouse get cold Saturday night. We made the most of it and had a grand ole time chatting, sipping beer and jamming to JR’s laptop Itunes. Between the chill of the fall air and JR’s nonsleeping snoring we did not get much sleep but that’s normal before these big ole long races. It was better then the torrent we experienced before the Mohican 100 earlier this season.

Our Front yard!!!!

Day #2

I poked my head out of the bunkhouse door around 7am and saw folks already chamoised up. Ahh shit, did we sleep too late? Nop, just some over zealous folks getting ready way too early. Since our bunkhouse was smack dab in the middle of all the action we got to eat breakfast while heckling and offering chamois cream applications. No one stopped by except SteveO and Gunnar got to work. The riders meeting started about 100 feet from our bunkhouse and as usual Gunnar and I were still in our civilian clothes Team Bi-atch style. Oh boy 8:45am, time to suit up. The chamois was cold and the chamois butter was colder but oh so refreshing.

The race…

We headed out hard. I was somewhere in between 20-30 as we hit the spiral of death. It was certainly a sight to see 300 people flying around Saturday’s cross course. Around, around, around we went and off to the first climb we go. There was some gap’s formed and bridged yet by the time we hit the first climb I made the cut with the lead group of about thirty. The pace turned up with the road. A few got dropped but I held on. I was not feeling that great so I too eventually decided to ease up or got dropped. I was happy to see Gunnar make the cut on his SS(I rode gears, never again) and he was off and running with the overall kiddies with derailleurs. We hit the Jeep trail and I was probably around 25^th. I saw Team Bi-atch pal SteveO and many others on the side of the trail fixing flats already… a few minutes later, bummer, my turn(weekend FLAT #2). I fixed it fast and jumped on the wheel of the Trek guy that won Saturday. We hit the ash fault and he was dragging me along at mock speed. Sweet, he would pull for 2 minutes while I only pulled for 30 seconds. Awesome, we took turns and cruised past all those that had passed us while fixing our flats. Back up to the top 30 I suspect, sweet…shoot flat #2 (weekend FLAT #3). Ugh, by this time my wrist was hurting and the dexterity in my hand was lacking. The result, one very long flat change, oh well, I waved to all the 150+ people that passed me including Bunny, Hi Bunny! After 10 minutes of wrestling with my tire off I went. The day would now be a ride and no longer a race, which was not bad at all. Sometimes when you are racing all macho like you never get a chance to look up to see the view’s and ah man the views were amazing. I chugged along encouraging folks while having fun. I flatted again (weekend FLAT #4) but did not worry too much about it. I bummed a tube, fixed it and just pedaled along. The wrist hurt some and I was a little disappointed but it was a good day.

Betsy killed it!!

JR crushing this young lady just under seven hours.

As for the Team they all kicked ass. Betsy had her hands full all weekend but in the end she crushed all comers. She is glad to see the women’s field getting more competitive however does not like the extra work. In the end, she won both days and the QOM. Good work Bunny. The old man Gunnar killed it on the SS giving the overall a run while winning the SS and 7^th overall with a flat (weekend FLAT #5). And JR, did great. Competing in his first cross race and marathon type race. He finished both with stellar form. Good work Team!

The Old Man Crushed!!

Thanks to Yellow Breeches Racing for an awesome event and weekend.

Ansel Adams Shit!!

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.

PEACE
Chris

110 chain ring "spacing"?

2008-10-13T15:41:00.006-04:00

Poor Goose has fallen two too many times this year.

He's gone simple.
Or perhaps he's just aging prematurely.
But regardless, it reminds me of another SNFU song (I think they are the Artist of the Month for October).

The song is "He's Not Getting Older, He's Getting Bitter", not only did all their albums have 7 words in them, but a few of the songs did as well-

Life is full of its ups and downs
and this man has seen his share
Now he finds that he's losing his mind
just as fast as he's losing his hair
All he does in the old folks' home
is sit and shit his pants
And all he has left is memories
But now those too are fading fast

He's not getting older, he's getting bitter

Everyday he sits and waits for death to set him free
He looks and laughs at old photographs
Ones that he can no longer see
He wonders why dying takes so long
He wonders just what it's waiting for
He'd like to throw himself out the window
But his body doesn't move like it did before

He's not getting older, he's getting bitter

Poor Goose, we'll visit you though...

"Hi, I feel like poop. How do I look?"

"Ack, it went like this..."

Iron Cross or bust!

2008-10-11T10:38:00.003-04:00

I am off to meet the Shogren's and JR up in the Michaux State Forest sick and broken. My race expectations are realistic and low however being in the mountain's for the weekend may be what the doctor ordered.

See you out there fan.

(editor's note- Hey mopey-dopey boy, enough already. It's not like we're saving the world. If you can't put on a pop-tart happy face then perhaps you just need to stay in DC and sulk in the alley. This ain't no emo-blog. So get LOLing or die!!!)
:)

Sorry folks

2008-10-10T21:55:00.001-04:00

Betsy has finally gotten a Facebook account.

She is now deeply immersed in the TimeSuck and may never be right again.
It wasn't my idea.

Again, my apologies...

gunnar.

What possibly could go wrong...

2008-10-09T18:05:00.008-04:00

...by doing the Iron Cross race with a broken wrist? Nothing I suspect!!

Yup, doing a butt load of a 100 mile MTB races was not enough this season for we Bi-atch's so this weekend a 100k cross race, brilliant!! So come on out to cheer us on fan. We will be doing the "normal" cross race Saturday followed by the "long" race Sunday. Should be fun.

(editor's note- Well you could be sick Mr. DipS...)

Broken wrist and Cross #2

2008-10-06T23:15:00.006-04:00

Well fan, we at Team Bi-atch headed out for a second day of Cross out at KelleyAcres near Fredrick, Md. It was truly a beautiful fall day on an equally beautiful farm. The leaves are not fully changed but they did not disappoint. Ahh, I love being in or at least near the mountains.

The course was pretty darn sweet. It was a miniature MTB course with log barriers, a stream crossing and some descent elevation change. I tried bunny hopping the one large barrier but sadly my broken wrist decided we would have no more of that. From what I saw only Gunnar, Jeremiah, Chris S. and Roger M. were the only ones bunny hopping it during their races. Roger may have stopped after his pretty sweet rolling endo.

Well the race...
I once again chose to do the old man race which I almost missed after passing the turn as I was so flustered driving through Fredrick seeing all the McCain/Palin signs in the yards, WTF!! Anyway, I made it with about 20 minutes to spare, Team Bi-atch style, but was almost not aloud to race since I have a broken wrist. What the, they let a Cat1/Pro race the C race!!! I got in.

Off we went. Gunnar led and I split my time between 2^nd and 3^rdfor a bit, sweet, maybe I will be racn’ today after all. Nop, I hit a hole pretty hard, remembered I had a broken wrist and started to ride more conservatively. At this time I started to move backwards too. It was no longer racn’ but just a hard training ride. Give a guy a break fan I have a broken wrist. I can use that one for at least another month I think, right? Gunnar crushed it and won. I'll get it together old man.

Betsy crushed it too winning her race. The HUB girl did keep her honest for a bit or maybe she was just messn’ with her. Bunny?

Great event that I am looking forward to doing next year healthy. All grassroots and old school, how I like it. Thanks Kelley's Acres, HPC and Team Kenda. I am sure Kevin worked his magic too, we are all narcissist!!

Next weekend, maybe Iron Cross Lite and Iron Cross. We will have to see, it is just up the road.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.

PEACE
Chris

*note to director: Please add pictures

Broken wrist and Cross #1

2008-10-04T20:11:00.009-04:00

Well fan, I jumped in my first Cross race since breaking my wrist less then two weeks ago. Yeh, I know, that's dumb but what else am I going to do. I'm a bike racer that's what we do. I chose to race in my age graded class instead of the elite race just because. The wrist hurt a good bit but most of my trouble lies in the fact that I do not have any top end cross fitness after taking close to two weeks off since the crash. A mediocre ride with a mediocre result, oh well, its good training and I had mad FUN so it does not matter. Besides I have a broken wrist give a guy a break. I guess doing well in 100 mile MTB races does not mean you"ll necessarily do so well in cross racn'. Its a start though and there is plenty of time to find some cross form, or not! I am happy to report that Gunnar won our race and Betsy won hers, yeh Bi-atch's!!!!! So whats next? Another try tomorrow. Time to ice the wrist.....

Other news, the BMX track was closed and Betsy and I tried out for the OUTLAW CHEERLEADERS. Ahhh yeh.....

The fall try out!

Ed Sander's Cross Clinic, Cougar Fest, and Camp!

2008-09-29T21:13:00.002-04:00

While Goose is now doing normal weekend things, gunnar and I are valiantly trying to keep our Fan entertained. This weekend we helped out at cross clinic given by The Applegates (Carapp LeGate!) (yes, the same Applegates that have cruelly made us suffer on our tandumb) at the Ed Sander Memorial cross race at the Lilypons.

I think this is one of the coolest races of the year, because I keep hoping somebody will fall in one of the ponds. Didn't happen this weekend, but I suspect it will sooner or later and I sure as heck better be around for it. Anyhow, the clinic was great fun and we met some enthusiastic clinic participants that I am looking forward to cheering for throughout the season. I am hoping they will do as we said, and not as we do, for the simple reason that the CycleDumb training program is really not for everybody...

Anyhow, NCVC and Lilypons was kind enough to let us camp out on the grounds on Sat. night. They even had a nice pavilion to shelter us from the rains. I must admit that I was having second thoughts about camping, on account of as soon as the gates were slammed shut, the heavens opened, Jackie found playmates in the form of a snake (dead) and a frog (live), and the mosquitoes called in all their starving distant relatives to feast upon the Shogren's bodies.

What's for dinner, Nars?

However, it turned out to be a lovely peaceful quiet night, and it was interesting to stumble out of bed in the morning to see the whole race preparation unfold. (Especially when Ken Getchell is setting up his PA equipment right above your head.)

Is that you out there, Ken?

CougarFest, 2008. Also the site of the Shogren's camping adventure.

Notice the placement of Ken.

The race itself was just fine, although gunnar and I are in the painful process of switching from 9 hour races to 45 minute races. We'll get there, though, and if we don't, at least we'll look good racing our beautiful new Cannondales.

Gunnar bringing home the goods, earlier in the week.

Yes, I know, we need to get some better pictures of our new bikes! We really heart these bikes!

Well, Fan, the latest news is in. It sounds like Goose might be out there racing this weekend! YAHOO! We here at CycleDumb Training are most proud.

Don't call it a come back...

2008-09-29T20:16:00.005-04:00

Well fan I went to the orthopedic specialist today. He did indeed confirm that I have two broken bones in my wrist. He also noticed the pins/screws in my thumb from last season but he also noticed that I must of broken my wrist two other times. I swear I have only broken my wrist one other time or at least I have only been casted one other time years ago. Perhaps I need to ask mom but then of course I would have to tell her about my current injury. Oh well!!

Any how, the doc said that these two bones are non-bearing so he gave me the option since I am an "adult" to have a brace instead of a cast since being an "adult" I would behave. Yeh, I am an "adult' so of course I chose the brace, I'll behave. He also told me that I could begin riding in 3-4 weeks with the brace on and that I could probably start racn' soon after depending on how much pain I can endure. Well, that was about 4 hours ago and I have already ridden an hour and going by this Cycle Dumb accelerated time frame I think I may try racn' the Hagerstown CX race this weekend. Besides CX, this race has a BMX course, a skate park and OUTLAW CHEERLEADERS how could I really resist, right? I have had erotic dreams as a teen that have included all those things, ok more recently. Besides, I have a great excuse if I do shitty, hell I have two broken bones in my wrist right.

I know many are worried about the current economic crisis, however, I suggest you buy stock in Advil. I will popping a lot in the coming weeks I am sure.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.

PEACE
Chris

Cheap at Twice the Price

2008-09-25T22:09:00.005-04:00

Yes, folks, for the bargain price of, uh, apparently just $14.99, you too can have gunnar's bum grace your website!

Mountain State Road Classic! (again)

2008-09-25T21:38:00.007-04:00

We are certainly sorry to hear that Goose is down and out. Hang in there, Goose. I wouldn't worry about the muffin tops too much.

Meanwhile, things are just swell here in W-bG-V. Look how giddy we all were on Sunday at the state RR championships! It was a right jolly old time.

Just look how happy all these folks are!

gunnar's happy because he won again.

Bunny's happy because she has tough grrrls to race with (Laura and Siera).

Kyle, 40 + state champ and happy he didn't use his 9 speed wheel on his 10 speed drivetrain equipped bike.

Josh, fellow NIOSH employee and happy he didn't hit the mailbox last Wed.

I don't even know who this guy is, but he sure looks happy about something. (editor's note- he's a acquaintance/buddy from my old home town, Clearfield PA, and he shows up to a few WVMBA races now and again. Or course he's happy!)

Siera's Dad flew in from California on the red-eye and jumped right on a bike (and finished!) Way to go, Dad!

Even Killer is happy, chewing on some old socks.

So, folks, the road season draws to a close. Many thanks to the folks that made it happen, including, but not limited to: JR Petsko, Thad and Sarah Kelley, Mike Holt, Mike Miller, Ryan Post, and all you who came out and raced!
Some good suffering was certainly inflicted during these road races, and that's the way we like it.

Actually written by Bunny...

Is it Hunting Season?

2008-09-24T20:29:00.013-04:00

One sad Chrissy!!!

Well fan, my Cross season has come to a screeching halt for the second season in row. I took a pretty hard training crash in Rock Creek Park, AGAIN!! This time the culprit was not some hooligan with a rope but a deer jumping out as I was doing my last of several hard efforts. The end result a shit load of road rash and two broken bones in my wrist and hand. Yup, the same hand I had surgery on less then year ago. Which incidentally ended last years cross season. F&%K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a good MTB season though. I was on the podium in all of the 30+ races I entered except two. I took 1st in WVMBA SS series and 3rd in the NUE SS National series so I shouldn't be too down. But I am. I do not idle well. So maybe a late November come back if the Doc's let me. If not, next season it will have to be. In the mean time, some professional pitting and heckling for my Team Bi-atch mates the Shogren's....some weekends! I guess I need a cow bell now too.

Now what do I do? Ugh!!! I guess watch Dumb-Shit speak tonight but look the cable is out too. Just my luck!! F$#K!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope I can keep my muffin-top from growing too large!! F&#K!!!!!!

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.

PEACE
Chris

Cross Opener for Chrissy :(

2008-09-21T22:00:00.004-04:00

Charm City MAC #2
I rode like poop and now I am grumpy.
Gunnar knows I am grumpy so the insults have been limited.
But they will come I am sure.
This is also the first Sunday in months that I am not on the road traveling until 1am from some race event. And TV stinks and I am too tired to read now I am even more grumpy.
I have cross gut and lungs too, more grump.
You?
Gunnar and Betsy won today though. Good work team.

Off to the Races!

2008-09-21T08:37:00.004-04:00

Notice it is the first MAC weekend. Notice the Shogren's aren't there! This is the first MAC race we've missed in 5 years for me, and probably 7-8 years for gunnar. There are many reasons for our absence, which we may or may not get into on this blog.

Instead, we will be racing the glorious Mountain State Road Classic, a race that should not be missed if it can be at all helped. Of all the crippling WV road races this summer, I might venture to say this one is the most crippling. You also might recall that quite a few years back a rumor was spread that gunnar would help some girl out for a kiss. While this was just a rumor, apparently the girl in question is still quite sore about it, as evidenced by the incredulous lecture I received from the aforementioned woman at the Joe Martin Stage Race last year. Let's just say she was quite appalled when she heard my last name was Shogren.

Anyhow, a full race report will follow, including all kissing that goes on during the race. See all the fun that goes on during a WV RR!? Now you understand (one reason) why we are missing the first MAC weekend!

Sleepn' til noon!!

2008-09-20T11:17:00.009-04:00

It is the first Saturday since April that this Bi-atch is not some where else or getting ready to go some where else for some sort of race. It does feel nice not to be in a rush to make it to some starting line some where but admittedly I am a little antsy especially with the first MAC race is starting today less then 3 hours away from the DC CX headquarters. I felt like total crap in last weekends Coppi RR and my body was screaming at me for a break. It has been a long however pretty successful season so a Saturday of rest and coffee will be just fine. The Director advised it and made it a mandate for Bunny and I. It's going to be a long Cross season too so some rest will do the body good.

Don't worry fan there is plenty of racn' for you to come out to though, I believe new daddy and Bi-atch member Mike Y. will be racn' up in the MAC season opener, Bunny and the Director will be finishing up the WV road series tomorrow and I will be hitting the second MAC race over in the Charm City tomorrow too. So plot your course on your GPS unit and come cheer us on.

Happy belated talk like a Pirate Day!!! This is the Director's favorite holiday of the year. I am sure Betsy is glad it is over.

Also, word has it the Director is in negotiations with some anonymous fella that is kinda fast that just came out of retirement. This fast fella was so impressed with the Directors old Diamond Back team mate, Dave Wiens, beating him at the Leadville 100 that he too wants some of the Directors knowledge. Perhaps we will have a chance in France again. Floyd, Cadel, Dave, Mike Y., Bunny, Goose and young Freddie who may be next...

Our Director!!!

Time for some more coffee, NPR and to think about riding. Oh, I am sorry for the lack of new photo's but my comp and camera are not getting along so I am unable to down load photo's but here is an ole-fav. There is some devise I can buy but who knows how long that will take for me to purchase.

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.

PEACE
Chris

As it was in the beginning..., Part II

2008-09-14T18:53:00.004-04:00

Photos and results are HERE. You should look at the pictures, because it was such a neat day to ride in the woods.

In the first race of the season, gunnar did an extra 7 miles and I beat him. teehee. In yesterday's last race of the season, he did an extra 12 miles, and I beat him again. teehee. (I know that's mean, but if you know gunnar, you know I've gotta take what I can get.)

The race was 38 miles of infamous Big Bear singletrack, followed by 12 miles of "jeep roads." I do believe many people suffered more on those jeep roads than in the whole previous 38 miles. They were pretty gnarly, indeed, but darn near perfect for a singlespeed 29'er, especially of the Cannondale variety. gunnar was privledged enough to do about 24 miles of jeep roads, a consequence of missing a turn, and then following arrows for the previous week's Poker Run. ooopeee.

Ma and Pa Shogren were about to head out into the woods to look for the MIA gunnar.

I am soooo happy I raced. I felt like extreme crud in the morning (that darn sore throat did not make itself scarce as I had hoped) and the smart part of me said not to race. But, as you can probably guess, the cycle-dumb side of me took over, and I figured I might as well be miserable riding a bike instead of being miserable at home while my friends are out cavorting around in the woods. Besides, I had all day Sunday to be sick. So, I raced and as I cruised through the misty pines, I definitely knew I had made the right decision. And, here it is Sunday, and I've spent most of the day like this:

At least I have good company!

Our buddy FatBoy did splendidly, and although he didn't get to finish the final 12 miles of Jeep Roads, he was still riding strong and happy. And that's the important thing!

Good Job, JR!!!! We're looking forward to more races with you next year.

And so, the mountain bike season comes to a close. sniff sniff. Thank you very much to Rob and Matt and the other fine folks of Sobe-Cannondale for helping to make it such a fun and successful season.

Our bikes certainly served us well throughout many many miles, and we will no doubt put many more miles on them this winter. But first, here's a hint of what's next...

As it was in the beginning...

2008-09-12T20:51:00.002-04:00

So shall it be at the end. Unfortunately, in this case, that refers to wet and sloppy, just as it was at the first race of the season (Mountwood). Hopefully it will not be too cold, though. Tomorrow is the Big Bear Ultra, one of our favorite races, and a fine race with which to end the mountain bike season. And, it is only 50 miles-- downright short! We are supposed to be camping right now, but a) it's raining, and b) somebody came down with a sore throat today at work. So, we'll just be up bright and early and that pesky sore throat can just show itself to the door, thank you very much.

Also, send some good vibes to FatBoy, PickleMan, or whatever other nom de plume you know JR as. He is going to race this race (his longest race by far), and we have a special surprise for him !!

JR, we will have this confectionary masterpiece waiting for you at the finish line!!!

There is a season...Turn, Turn, Turn!!

2008-09-11T22:23:00.010-04:00

(editor's note, not all of us are throwing in the towel on MTB racing!
Nars, Bunny, and PickleMan are all racing the Big Bear Ultra Saturday!!)

Well Fan, last weekend was the final WVMBA series race, The Dirt Derby. This was a pretty cool course to ride on a singlespeed but SUCKED to race on a SS. It was a "controlled" road start (which seemed like 10 miles) that was absolutely painful and horrible for we SS kids. Followed by a wicked fast "very" single track section. This section was fine for an SS but by the time we hit the woods most of we SS kids had spun out and were trying to stay in front of the beginner class. So passing was hard, at times dangerous but had to be done. I absolutely buried myself in the first 30 minutes trying to chase down the overall leaders when finally sketchy Johny M. caught me at the top of a hike-a-bike as the steam was blowing out my ears, ugh!! I let him go thinking we had three laps, I was tired and I typically can reel Johny in after 2 hours. I continued trucking along passing the sport class guys and finally catching most of the pro/ex field. I was joined by fellow SS friend Joey R. for a bit but he disappeared after after a few miles. It was good to see him out there since this was the place he had that bad crash last year.

I kept chugging along. I was told that I was gaining on Johny half way through lap two. Sweet I thought, I will catch him soon enough after we start lap three. Nope, as I began the road climb to start lap 3 I was told to turn at the top toward the finish line. Oops, I guess the prologue thingie was lap 1 so I never caught Johny and ended up 2nd...still in the money at least and won the SS WVMBA series too.

With this being the WVMBA series final if you were hoping to place in the series you had to do this race since it was added to all your points. I was one point behind Benji going in so it was going to come down who beat who for first. It was surely going to be an exciting race between he and I, however, I am sad to report that Benji's son re-entered the hospital just days before the race so he was unable to attend. I truly did not want to win the series under these circumstances. Some of we SS kids were willing to amend the series rules some to allow Benji to keep his 1st and for me to keep my 2nd since mathematically no one could pass us in points if both Benji and I were there racing no matter how bad we did. So a race for 3rd!! A vote was taken and not everyone agreed to this, democracy at work I suppose, so in the end I have won the SS WVMBA series in a bitter sweet manner as I was looking forward to a hard day in the saddle of knocking elbows with Benji for the series win. Benji still held on to 5th, good work sir. We at Team Bi-atch hope your family and young Sammy are doing well. Next year we will do it again with Sammy cheering you on brother.

So that was the end of the MTB/Road season, kind of, we still will be hitting a few MTB and RR in the coming weeks but no more points or series will be chased until cross starts in a few weeks.

Bi-Atchs heart their Cannondales.

This is the turning point of a very long but very successful season and we Bi-atch's end this chapter with 3 series podium slot's in the WVMBA series and two in the NUE series. Not bad, not bad at all. That cycle dumb training really works.

Betsy: 1st Pro WVMBA, 2nd Women NUE Series
Gunnar: 3rd Pro WVMBA (even without those Mountwood points AND getting a flat at the finals!), winner of TWO SS NUE races!
Me, Chris: 1st SS WVMBA and 3rd SS NUE Series

So, it's time to re-glue some cross tyres and to practice some dismounts. See ya at the MAC and MABRA cross races fan.

Thanks and shout outs:
- JR for making WVMBA happen and for quiting smoking, you rock!
- cyclingnews.com for feeding our or my narcissism
- Uncle Rob and Cannondale for some great bikes and gear
- Gunnar and Betsy for being good friends, travel mates, competition, Bi-atch mates and weekend roommates
- to all the hardy WVMBA soul's that come out every weekend making this labor of love all worth it

The Tandumb won the Clydesdale class!

"May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face" and may your wheels always find it safely back to the ground.

Peace Chris
(editor's note- sniff, sniff)

Fine where we were-

2008-09-07T22:51:00.004-04:00

Dirt Derby, WVMBA Series Final

But maybe not where we would have like to have been-
Sierra Tahoe 100 ($$$!) Miler

Woulda, shoulda?, coulda?
"It's too late, wake up."

Maybe next year guys...

But for now we only got one more MTB race-
Big Bear Ultra

And then Cross season.
But at least we're ending the MTB season wanting more!

Last WVMBA

2008-09-07T06:15:00.002-04:00

Motivation is considerably less than it has been for quite some time.
The troops are seriously reconsidering their dedication and need to get up, get eating, get packed, and get on the road at this unGawdly hour.
Rolling out of the tent and racing in the butt-early AM is one thing, traveling is one very different other.

Yuck.
Poopie.
"They don't have the results up yet for the Tahoe 100 miler".
"My knee feels better", says Betsy, after the deamon dog Jackie whacked into her yesterday.

That's all we got.

One last time..or is it?

2008-09-06T11:31:00.004-04:00

It's a very dreary ugly day in DC as Hanna pounds the right coast with some needed moisture and DCians wait for the knock out punch from Ike not the Tina Turner Ike but the storm sometime in the next 24 hours. I, as usual will be getting out of dodge and heading to Mo-town to get ready for the last WVMBA series race hopefully in time for beer, Blackbear and hopefully a Bunny movie pick...Gunnar always picks movies that came out before Betsy and I were alive, sorry Director! And Yes fan, we should be in Tahoe but we aint so here we go. And yes fan, our motivation is lacking the normal zeal. We are all tired at Team Bi-atch and I am certainly moving slow this morning...almost afternoon. I wish the van would pack itself and I need to spin the legs on the rollers too, ugh. Is five cups of coffee excessive? I certainly hope not.

I am looking forward to switching gear's, literally and figuratively as the coming Cross season approaches. The training changes and decreases, the travel is less( for me at least as I live in the non-New England east coast Cross promise land) and the races are only an hour not 8+. I hope I can find my top end again. I will also be able to spend some time with an old special friend that is a new special friend. Sleep in my own bed most weekends and all that other non-traveling stuff. But I love the travel and the lyfe...

Time for cup 6.
Fan, see ya at the Dirt Derby or if Hanna has her way the MUD Derby.

...hang tough young Sammy we will all have you in our thoughts.

Meet... The An1mal

2008-09-05T18:53:00.007-04:00

(ed. note, I call him Lug)

This is Fred.

Fred recommends not racing in sleeves, as they just rip off anyway.

He is a recent convert to the CycleDumb Training program. I'm proud to say his newfound blatant disregard for proper rest, prerace nutrition, and appropriate arrival time to races has led to both a PR in the John Bryan Fast Laps series, and a 3rd place finish in the Clydesdale Division in the OH State Mt. Bike Championships. Yes, my friends, Fred understands that the best warm-up stems from the adrenaline-soaked panic of being late to a race, or even perhaps the sprint from the bushes as the promoter says GO.

Getting back to his third place finish.... during the course of the race (and while leading, I might add), Fred broke a few teeth off his brand-new cassette and snapped a chain. Fortunately, Fred always carries a premeasured brand-new spare chain, as apparently he snaps chains quite a bit... Unfortunately, when this second chain subsequently snapped (after regaining the lead), his derailleur also ate sh*t and Fred was forced to singlespeed. It didn't take long for his chain to jump up to a higher cog, though, and then the bottom bracket froze completely. Fortunately Fred also subscribes to the CD motto of "Never, Ever, Ever Quit," so he pedalled with all his might, and actually didn't finish all that far behind first place. At the finish, there was not a female there that could turn Fred's cranks over.

Fred enjoys the fruits of his labor, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind some cold hard cash to help replace his entire drive train and BB.

I guess Fred is known as "The Animal" for a reason. You may have also heard him referred to as "The Tree Killer" in certain circles, too. Fred's next race is the International Clydesdale XC Championship in KY on Sept. 28th. Best of luck, Fred!!! gunnar offers up these words of advice: "Just because you have a hammer, doesn't mean everything is a nail."

Rest assured, Fred is not just all brawn and no brain. Heck no, we here at CD Training won't stand for just dumb jocks. We try to just be dumb when it comes to, uh, cycling.

Fred is also the brain behind this project:

http://www.nationalmuseum.af.mil/factsheets/factsheet.asp?id=12876 which currently resides in the lobby of the Air Force Museum at Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton, OH.

Fred recommends sending somebody to go register for you when you are running late.
Maybe Team Bi-atch needs to get one of these...

I am going back to Cali, to Cali...

2008-09-02T22:29:00.007-04:00

Well fan, we have yet again surprised our selves. We have found ourselves in this interesting situation: Much to my surprise, I find myself tied for first with Fuzzy in SS NUE Series, Gunnar "the come back kid (old man)" Shogren has rallied and could bounce us both out of first ( and me probably down to 4th, hey wait!!) and Besty can lock up 2nd and would love a rematch with the always happy Cheryl S.

Now we need to get back to Cali to Cali...

So fan we are looking for donations for the trip to the finals in the Tahoe 100 out in Cali. This bike racing and teaching thing doesn't pay as well as I had hoped. So as we speak the Director is setting up a Paypal account for us.

Thanks ahead of time.

LL Cool Jay is our motivation.

Please Welcome Pickle Man

2008-09-02T19:44:00.004-04:00

To the fiend Family of Inspirational Blogs!!

AKA JR Petsko
AKA Fatboy Bikes
AKA our favorite newest non-Smoker
AKA this whole list that he uses on his email signature-
J.R. Petsko
http://fatboy-bikes.blogspot.com

Nature's Essence Photography
304-612-0301
www.NaturesEssencePhoto.com

Head Photographer
iPlayOutside, Inc.
www.iPlayOutside.com

Exec. Director
West Virginia Mountain Bike Association
www.WVMBA.com

P.O Box 660
Davis, WV 26260
304-612-0301

Nice change from "Ex. Director" there JR...

And what he lacks in spell check and word usage he *more* than makes up for in friendliness, helpfulness, goodness, and exuberance. Whew, seems like I have a man-crush...

He's been there and doin' it.
And good for us all that he is.

The Shenandoah Mountain 100

2008-09-01T17:37:00.006-04:00

We are back from a killer weekend down in Harrisonburg, Va. and yes this Bi-atch has some killer aches and pains. Fan, it was an awesome event. Chris and his crew put on an amazing festival that included 500+ racers. Not to be out of character I rolled up to the starting line with about a minute to spare and to see how deep the field went back was quite impressive and intimating as I got to line up on the front row. WOW!!!

The race...

We took off with little warning which was a little confusing especially since the moto guy's also weren't ready nor did they have their bikes running, oops! I hit the first climb near the front with Gunnar being the only other single speeder in front of me. Now fan you know I believe 7am is only good for sleeping or going to bed so I was not feeling that great going up the first climb at all. My stomach was all twisted and my HR was off the charts but surprisingly I had "legs" so I was able to chug along keeping Gunnar in sight.

After about an hour I finally woke up and began to feel right which was good as I had a race on my hands. Gunnar was up the road a bit and I found myself amongst 7 or 8 of fastest single speed guys around. Gaps were made and bridged for the first 40 miles. After checkpoint #3 I jumped on the wheel of some fast geared guys on this long stretch of road and got a pretty good gap then set my sights on bridging up to Gunnar. I set tempo up the "soul crusher" climb with some tough geared guys and as I crested the top JR let me know I was only 4 minutes behind the old man. Ahh yeh, it was on and time to bury myself chasing. I dropped my geared chum's and the chase began...until flat number 1 around mile 77. I fixed it fast and got passed only by one geared guy. Refocused and determined I began the chase in earnest. Twenty two minutes later another flat, ugh! This one didn't change as smoothly, I was frustrated and shit Rich "dicky" Dillen a fast SS kid caught me. Now I was in third and I was pretty darn tired to have to go chase down two people but I did. I passed Dicky and got about a minute gap on him but decided to stop at the last aid station so I could get an extra tube and to use the floor pump as my CO2 didn't work so well. Dicky and I went over the last mountain together sharing stories while keeping each other honest. I got a gap on him through the last rocky section and then the finish, ouch!!!

Cresting "Soul Crusher"

It was an amazing day of racing with some serious elevation gain. Riding up those mountains on the single speed has taken its toll on my poor lil legs and knee's. I am useless as we speak fan. I have to say I am impressed with all the hardy souls that participated. As I was chilln' licking my wounds and sipping some tasty ale around 9pm folks were still coming in with their lights bright and their smiles brighter. That was awesome and what this event is all about for so many, seeing what you can do with your abilities. Sometimes we macho "elite" racer lose sight of that as we are too busy looking to beat this guy or gal or this or that...blah blah type A shit.

Happy Tired Couple

I am hurting today but I will be back next year pho-sure!!! I was able to muster up the strength to do a 20 minute spin, my legs are happy but my booty and the adjoining parts are not.

Happy, happy, joy,joy!!!

Team Bi-atch Results
Betsy: 3rd: mega flats
Gunnar: 1st SS 15th overall and still old as coal
Me, Chris: 2ndSS 19th overall, 2 flats

CYCLINGNEWS REPORT

Shout out and stuff:

1. Chris Scott, Shenandoah Mountain Touring and the whole crew: you treated us all so great

Thanks Chris

2. JR for coming out to cheer us on.

3. Gunnar great ride.

4. And to all that rode. Whether you did a sub 8 hour ride or made it in after 14 hours we all did it and that is the important thing.

Ahh alas, the marathon's are over for the season. One more serious WVMBA race then it's business casual for a few weeks until cross. And if cross does not go well early on well then it will be a business casual cross season too.

BFF JACKIE

As always...
Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard.

Here we go again!!!

2008-08-30T11:26:00.007-04:00

Well fan we have one last 100 miler left for the season tomorrow. I have to say I am a little relieved. I realized this morning that this was the first Saturday that I have woke in my own bed since mid-June and no it's not because I have been meeting nice young ladies that like to have slumber parties on the weekend. A long season it has been!!

We at Team Bi-atch are Shen100 virgin's so we are pretty stoked to win our stripes and become men/women. Admittedly, I am a little nervous as I have surprisingly found myself in a position to win the SS NUE series. I am a fat History teacher so how in the hell did that happen? Oh well, I will try my best fan but most importantly I will have fun and be supportive to the others out there suffering too. Betsy has a real chance at 2nd too and Gunnar would love to get a second 1st so the pressure cooker is on. Let's hope JB, Schalk and the other Trek boys with gears take it easy on us at that 6:30am start, ugh!! Ahh, but plenty of beer and Maker's will be consumed Sunday night no matter what happens.

Shoot, its almost noon so I need to put the coffee down, go for a ride, pack and maybe make it to the camp grounds before dark.

Wish us luck fan!!!

As always...
Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard.

A Chrissy update....

2008-08-27T21:27:00.011-04:00

Sorry fan. I have been living out of the back of my van mostly for the last month. I have been racin' a whole bunch, visiting the family some, riding in some cool places, visiting and chilln' with some special peep's in NYC and racin' a whole bunch. My energy and interneting has been limited so I am sorry for the scarce updates fan.
So here you are a quick update...

The Fool's Gold 100 was a hoot. The director already gave the quick update. I did flat three times but he forgot to mention that I was marching back to aid station #1 for a 4th tube for 10-15 minutes before Bunny was so kind and threw me a tube as she passed. I was screwing around for 20+ minutes and the Director beat me by 29 minutes, hhmm!! Okay, no shit talk he was working me over when we were together so he would have probably still beaten me by a minute or two. The venue was awesome. The southern hospitality was great. The mountains and views are amazing(yet another reason to leave DC). All you mid-atlantic/north-east folks should put it on your schedule for next year for sure.

Fool's Gold

Ahh, then a little rest in NYC before heading back to WV for the ACE race. Benji and I are in a nail biter SS series chase as is Gunnar and Ben in the Pro/ex class so it was kind of an important race. Unfortunately, for both Gunnar and I we did not get the top spot in our respective classes as we hoped. I got misguided on lap one and re-entered the race ahead of the folks I was chasing. I sat up until I was back in the right placing but the steam was out of my sail' s and I pretty much coasted the second lap ending up in second behind Benji. Now I have to win the finals in order to win the series. Gunnar is in the same situation too as Nick W. showed up straight from roadie euro land and gave us all at WVMBA a pretty good body slam from the top rope. Gunnar did not win. So the Dirt Derby is going to be a nail biter for sure.

This weekend Team Bi-atch are headed to another Chris Scott badass production, the Shenandoah 100. Betsy and I are both chasing NUE series podium slots. So come out and watch, cheer us on and drink some beer. Ahh, the pressure!!!! I need a massage!!!

I guess its official I am still a WV'er Cyclingnews knows all. Sorry DC, but really have we ever had a true love affair with each other?
Cyclingnews press

Back from Pyrite Land

2008-08-18T11:42:00.008-04:00

Fool's Gold page on the webby
I would like to point out that they have the results wrong for the women. Betsy was 2nd-

Betsy- 2nd, not on her A game
gunn4r- 1st SS, 5th overall, pretty much on his A game except 30 minutes prior to the race
Chris- 2nd SS, 7th overall, lots of flats and excuses, but a fine rally in the last 10 miles

We got back late last night, watched an episode of Millenium, got up sometime this morning, and now must go out to Big Bear to get some Pay Dirt hours.

There.

And we did have to catch up on our emailing and such this morning-

No we didn't go tubing in Helen, though we certainly would have enjoyed it

Mountaineer Stage Race

2008-08-05T18:18:00.008-04:00

Sorry for leaving you breathless with anticipation, Fan. I know you are waiting for a race report from the stage race, but we really needed to watch Rock 'N' Roll High School last night.

Due to extenuating circumstances, gunnar and I were the only Bi-Atches attending the Stage Race. Please keep Goose and his family in your thoughts right now. And Mike is busy attending to his incubating Baby Bi-Atch. And Freddie is still MIA somewhere amongst the cow manure.

The stage race started out with a 21.8 mile hilly TT. Not exactly our cup of tea, but we are bike racers, so we will race whatever you throw at us. Gunnar did well, coming in 4th place. Here's a picture of him passing his 14 minute man (Mike Miller). Apparently Mike brought his camera in anticipation of this moment.

The TT was followed by a lovely picnic and siesta by the Tygart River, before crit time. Somehow, gunnar and I still managed to arrive 15 minutes before my crit-start. ooopie.

Apparently, a certain somebody thinks "siesta time" = "play time."

Due to the abysmal turn-out of women racers, I got to race with the 40+ men! It was hot and everybody was tired from the morning's TT, though, so when the official said START, there was not much response. To liven it up a bit, I blasted my way from the 2nd row through a small gap in the 1st row and yelled ATTACK!!!! I was doing it as a joke, though, and certainly did not expect to stay away until 4 laps remaining! At this point, 2 men bridged to me and I just tried to stay out of the way for their finish.

Bunny, suffering all by her lonesome. Thanks for the cheers, Kids!

gunnar's crit followed thereafter, and he pulled a HERO move and attacked with 7 laps remaining. (He must have been inspired by moi.) In any case, thanks in part to some timely assistance from a couple lapped riders, but mostly because he has massive thighs of steel and lungs like a blowfish, gunnar soloed to the win, with 42 seconds to spare! Good Jorb, Nars!

Nars, after total crit domination.

After refueling with Smoothies from Sheetz and some Chinese food, we were rearing to go for the next day's road races. I got to race with the 40+'ers again, even though there were 6 or 7 hardy women that showed up. Thank you for racing, my fellow female bike racers!!!
My buddy Kean warned me that he was going to attack up the 1st 3 mile climb, so I was ready when he went. It turned out that just me and Kyle were able to stay with him, though, which made for a highly painful race. I have not suffered that bad for a looooong time. The 3 of us worked our tails off (I definitely did not do my fair share, though I did what I could) and managed to stay 1 minute in front of the pack of frothing 40+ men for the whole race. Thank you, Kean and Kyle, for the encouragement, jokes up the climb, and not dropping me. That was definitely one of the hardest races I've ever done, and my stubborn pride was the only thing that kept me in that break.
gunnar was fortunate enough to get to do 2 laps of that course (for 5000 total feet of climbing). His group broke up quite a bit on the second lap, and gunnar was in the chase group behind a solo rider. Coming into the finish, he attacked early in an attempt to get second, but got stuck behind a Magnum Wagon in the covered bridge, and lost his gap. So, he ended up 3rd, still an excellent result! Nars moved up to 2nd overall in the stage race! WOOHOO!

All in all, it was a super fun weekend, but we missed our friend Goose. :o( Jackie misses her snugglebuddy, too.

Special thanks to:

Ryan Post, Thad Kelley, Emily Moy, and all the others that worked their tail off for this weekend
My Mom and Pop for coming to visit, cheering for us, and buying us delicious smoothies!

Mom and Pop, zipping around the crit course.

All of our fellow racers that showed up. Hardy souls, indeed!

Special request to all female racers in the Mid-Atlantic area: Please come try racing in WV! Not only are these races super fun and challenging, they pay well and often have PIZZA afterward. What more do you want? If just one or two of you comes and brings along a few friends, we could have a nice female pack. But if all of you say "there aren't enough women racers to make it interesting," there obviously won't be enough women to make it interesting. Thanks!

Wilderness 101 Part II: "the tale"

2008-07-29T17:32:00.017-04:00

Sorry for the late post fan. We have all been a bit tired from the weekend.

Bunny gives camping a thumb's up!

The Wilderness 101 is a tough event. You climb, climb and climb some more always waiting and praying for some single track and descents. You finally get your wish and then the rocks and speed have your insides so twisted and your arms so pumped you begin wishing you were back on some 3 mile fire road climb. These conflicting and paradoxical feelings continue for 7+ hours. You have several good days and bad days on the bike while you are out there. You have some laughs, cries and elbow bumping with your fellow competitor’s.
Of the 300+ that show up to race I’d say 20 are there to legitimately win, another 30 are there to make podium and the rest are there for the personal challenge that is the Wilderness 101.

The race from Chrissy’s eyes…

At the butt crack of 7am off we went and as soon as we hit the first climb the non-mortals without day jobs started to turn the screws in on us mortals that have day jobs.

Tomi looking chipper bright and early in the morning and with a freewheeling SS instead of the fixed.

It was rough going at that hour of the morning but I held my own. A few groups formed and I found myself with a pretty elite group of SS fellas. Benji, Deejay, Topher and I mixed it up with some geared boys for a while. Our group made up the lower portion of the top 25 and by my estimates we made up 4-7 SS kids. We hit the woods just after aid station #1 when Benji, Deejay and I found ourselves with a pretty good gap that a few geared boys were able to bridge when we hit the next road section.
We all cooperated for a while until Benji turned it up notch with only he and myself coming to aid station #2 together. I got a quick feed thanks to a friend being there and off I went alone. Benji bridged up and the Benji/Chris Alliance would not come undone until mile 95 (editors note- that's really sicky sweet Chrissy). We pushed each other hard. However, Benji was working me over and kept me honest more then I did him- he was the stronger man for sure.(editor's note- I think Chris has a man crush)

Aid station #3 and off we went up the rocky single track climb. We saw three pretty girls hanging out in the trees cheering us on. I think I may have proposed to one as she was so warm and angelic in my time of need. I have not heard from her again so perhaps it was mirage, such is my lot in life.
Benji got away in the gnarly single track somewhere between aid station #3 and #4 but I was not too worried as Benji can normally school me on the rocky stuff. It's not that I am slow, its just because he is that fast. I caught a few geared guys and Matt F. a SS kid in the gnarly stuff. These are Matt’s trails so there was no way I should of caught him at this point but the smoke coming out of his ears told the tale. Good ride Matt.

Ahh, aid station #4, holy shit, Wes S. and Gunnar. Wow, Benji and I have dug our way up to within striking distance of 2nd & 3rd!
I tried chatting but they both took off. Gunnar only does that when he is in it to win it so I knew he was having a good day. I quickly filled my bottles, chugged a Redbull and off I went. Benji was cooling off in a spring but he quickly joined me in our attempt to ride into 2nd-5th. We kept Wes and the Director in sight up the post-aid-station- #4 soul crushing climb.
Somewhere after the top we caught Gunnar but no Wes.
Gunnar, Benji and I rode in cooperation for a bit. My chain fell off a few times and the fella’s never attacked too hard, they did not wait, but they did not attack. We rode past our friend JP who was not looking good and then much to someone's chagrin...
Past aid station #5, with Benji letting out some heroic sounding "On to the road to Glory!!" or something Nordic sounding, and Gunnar's heart sank, and probably should have stopped but was in shock at the non-stop and too busy bitching and moaning and me and Benji, "Ha ha!" (is what LB would say).

Gunnar seems to think we planned on stopping. Now I never said I would nor did I plan on it as I had a full bottle in my jersey specifically for this situation. With only 13 miles to go I wanted to have plenty of water just in case I was racn’, and I was.
But would Benji and Gunnar?
Well, ask Gunnar his thoughts on this.

Actually, I recommend NOT asking gunnar his thoughts on this.

Up the final climb Benji and I dropped Gunnar, (editor's addition) did not drop Gunnar, but rather he blew sky high (end editor's addition). I found myself with gap over Benji too. The regret for the day: I DID NOT ATTACK!!!! SH*T, Benji was able bridge up. He dropped me on the fisherman trail and I buried myself on the rail grade chasing. I gained on him but… he got 3^rd SS and I got 4thSS (17^th and 18^th overall respectively).
Ahhh, why didn’t I attack? Yes, Gunnar has given me much sh*t about that, but he got 5^th so…?
The beast John “Fuzzy” schooled us SS kids in 1^st 30 minutes ahead (9^th overall, wow) and Wes took 2^nd. 5 of the top 20 rode single speeds, what what!!

gunnar trying to rehydrate with some champagne in his big ol' piehole.
(editor's addy)Take note how the WV Nightclub stays together and that poor Wes doesn't know what to do.
Such is our presence.(end addy)

Betsy with a bum thumb and on her SS got 5th against the ladies with gears. Good job bunny!!!

Results and pics

Then an amazing dip in the stream, some good vegetarian eats, beer, rowdy single speed awards, Makers Mark and yes, keg stands. There are some compromising photos kicking around of some very unlikely participants in the keg stands, Betsy and Cheryl.

These may or may not be members of Team Bi-Atch.

Shout outs and stuff:
1. Chris Scott of SMT: an amazing experience, thanks man!!!

2. His parents, crew and volunteers: You were all so helpful and supportive during our times of need.

3. Benji Klimas: you are a f-ing beast and I am still hurting and Gunnar is still bitching about the fleecing he got from you.

4. To all the single speeders: you are all some of fastest, rowdiest and real M-Fer's I have ever had the pleasure to ride with.

5. To the immortal non-day job riders that kept it real by hanging out, having beers and cheering on those coming in after 9pm instead of taking your money and running: Harlan, Fuzzy, Deejay, Betsy, Cheryl,Michelle, Wes & others...all keeping it real

5.5 (editor's addition) And the Gas Face to the "Pros" that *needed* to leave early, and *not* hang out, and *not* cheer on the late night finishers, and *not* cheer for the other podiums, and all those others things you did *not* do. You're fast, but sometimes that's not enough. (end editor's addition)

6. WV Night Club: Benji, LB, Chris P, Andy W. (who took a really hard header out of station #2), Juan M. ("yes my ass is cramping"), initiate and Junior member Morgan, Mike the Chaperone, and even perhaps the Bi-atches too, now that we drank their whiskey, did keg stands and all rode SSs.
Who rode hard, partied harder and for being who you are.

7. The Shogren's, Mike Miller, Uncle Rob and Cannondale.

8. And to all that came out to race. Whether you came to win the thing or just to finish under 15 hours, you did it!! Being kind, Living life to the fullest and pushing your body and mind to its limit is what life is all about. Good work!!

CYCLING NEWS REPORT

What's next fan: a rest weekend (or for the Shogren's-- Mountaineer Stage Race), a WVMBA race, Fools Gold 100, a WVMBA race and the Shan. 100 another Chris S production.

As always...
Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard.

Wilderness 101: Part I "getting there at a reasonable hour"

2008-07-25T12:31:00.005-04:00

Team Bi-atch are headed to the Wilderness 101 today up in beautiful Coburn, Pa. It should be fun and painful. I did the first 3 as a teen in the 90's. People say that with age comes wisdom, nop, just to make it more difficult the Team and I are leaving the derailleurs at home and rocking the single speeds, dah!!!

Fan, come cheer us on. We got special permission from Chris S. to have Team Bi-atch cheerleaders and Go-go dancers at all the check points, yippee...how sweet is that?

(editors note- Chris did not beat the Shogren's there!)

Mt Snow, VT to Valley Falls, WV: The Chrissy report part II

2008-07-24T15:50:00.022-04:00

...so we finished watching Betsy making macho moves in the Pro race and then we began loading the bus... but we quickly needed a mandatory union beer break though. Gerry is a cop so we had to listen.

And off we went. We slept, bickered and took turns behind the wheel for our 10+ hour journey back to WV.

We found some vegetarian eats around 12am at a Waffle House and then strolled on down the road. With about 50 miles to go around 2am we grabbed some gas and noticed fellow hardy soul's JP and Ruth sleeping in the back of their car as they too were planning on doing the double-header. The Shogren's, always being kind to wayward cyclist invited them home with the Team. We got in around 3am bedded down by 3:30 and off to dream about the victories that could have been and the victory that will hopefully be the next day.

(okay, maybe JR wasn't on this trip, but it seemed like a good time to use this pic).

(Not to mention he looks so angelic when he sleeps.)

We rose tired and achy, had some coffee and tweaked the bikes a little. Betsy decided to sit the day out as she was pretty cooked from the day before and she banged her thumb up pretty bad. Plus I am sure she was sick of the bus that had the sweet aroma of a boys locker room. It was probably the smartest thing decided by any of us since the trip began. So Gunnar and I loaded up and headed south with JP and Ruth in toe (LB hooked up the with WV Night Club crew). We were pleasantly surprised to see such a good turn out and even more surprised to see so many fellow hardy soul's that made the trip back from VT. Ahh, WVMBA has some tough characters that appreciate what we have. But sometimes we all need to make the journey to the big show to show others that the Mountain State regulars are still some of the fastest around.

Sorry fan, the race. We began on a very steep and long road climb and man did I feel like crap. About 10 of us pro/ex and SS kids started to role away, and it was painful. I must of forgotten my legs and lungs in Vermont, ugh!! Benji and Johnny both fresh pushed the pace and I finally had to say uncle. I entered the trail about 45 seconds behind in about 12th position and 5thish among the SS boys. I was happy to see Gunnar made the cut though. I felt bad and began to think this would just be another training day as my race legs were missing. But alas, after 25-30 minutes of just pedaling around my body started to come around. I entered the pain box and off I went to race. I knew I was going to be pretty far back but I was hoping I could dig my way up to the top 5 overall and hopefully I could catch Benji for the SS win. I began catching many including the Director whose day turned to training around the same time mine turned to racing. I worked my way up to 7th and never caught Benji so I got 2nd SS. Gunnar rallied and got 9th overall and 7th Pro/ex.
Results/pics

The course was a hoot but not for those that don't like to climb. Certain sections felt like a roller coaster, all wicked fast and twisty. It was a pleasure for sure. And unlike at the USAC race we were fed, thanked for coming and made some pretty good scratch too.
We shared some HOT beers with the WV Night Club kids, shared some tales, grabbed Jackie and off to the Bi-atch HQ. After a quick nap my journey continued back to DC...home by 2am. Such is the lyfe and I wouldn't change a thing.

Now some needed rest and off we go this weekend to the always tough
Wilderness 100. Chris S rocks!!!
NUE Series

Mt Snow, VT to Valley Falls, WV: The Chrissy report part I

2008-07-22T14:24:00.016-04:00

Sorry fan, we have been on the road chasing the dream and Wifi signals so our race reports have been delayed. But here you go, Mt Snow and Valley Falls…

MT SNOW:

THURSDAY
Team Bi-atch (with LB) left WV in the AM and arrived in VT in the late PM. The trip was pleasantly uneventful. We chatted, slept, and Gunnar and I bickered, as he was not being very cordial about letting some people stop for nature breaks.

Betsy almost left Gunnar for this fella!

The team and LB arrived at our sweet digs late Thursday night. It would be a full house of dirty racers, thanks to one of our amazing sponsor’s: Miller Dentistry. With the Miller’s, Morgan, Betsy, Gunnar, Matt M., LB, Nick W. and I all finding ourselves in this amazing condo just 200 yards from the feed zone and 2 minutes from the starting line our home for the next few days. Besides the air being broken, the place was pretty darn sweet and I got a bed.

FRIDAY:
We woke up early to cheer on and heckle our Cannondale teammate, Morgan M., and WVMBA homie, the young Henry Spreng, in the junior race. This also gave an opportunity to cheer on some friends in the semi-pro race. Good work, Wes!!

After the required heckling and such, we chamoised up to take a spin on the course to try to figure out which gear to run on the SS and to find all the sweet local lines. It was your typical NORBA National course. Climb, climb, climb until it hurts too much, then climb some more, followed by some wicked-fast-gnarly descending. The 21 was decided on, but I should have chosen the 22 (or a geared bike), and then back to the condo for some absolute lounging and Tour watching.

SATURDAY:
The dreaded 8am start time. 5,4,3,2,1…GO! I was 3^rd going into the first climb and quickly found myself in 1^st. Sweet, I led it for about 10 minutes until we got to the next significant climb. This climb is still haunting me 72 hours later. It is the place where I feel I lost the race and I feel running a SS in the geared race may have proven to be a mistake. I dismounted and began to trot all the while the geared boys were shifting to a lighter gear and pedaling away. This baby was long so I felt it prudent to walk and trot rather then run, because I could have easily blown sky high running the thing. This too is still haunting me; I believe I was way too conservative on that first lap. I have been racing 2+ hour races all season and this race would be well under 2hrs so I have the fitness and strength, aahh!!! On lap 2-3 I ran the damn thing with unabashed rigger trying to undo my first lap mistake of conservatism. So why didn’t I let it all hang out on that first lap? Yes, I am pissed and bummed with myself. Would I have let it all hang out had I been in the SS race? Would having gears allowed me to climb the darn thing and stay in 1st? Was I geared or just out-ridden? AAAAHHHH, these are the questions I have been wrestling with for the last few days. Back to the race: I rallied and buried myself on laps 2 and 3. I left everything I had on the climb and took some silly risks on the descents all in the hopes to make the podium. It was hard to tell what place you were in as there was many different classes out on the course. I was guessing I was somewhere between 4^th and 8^th. I was passing many, always being polite and diligent to see what number they had on their leg to determine if they were in my class. Near the end of the last climb on the final lap I saw one last guy with the same number as me. He was looking tired and was square pedaling, so I got on his wheel found the line and turned the pain meter up to 11. I dropped him pretty soundly as we entered the woods for the final descent. Yikes, just before exiting the woods he passed me and launched a pretty hard attack as we hammered through the flat section past the feed zone. I could tell he felt he dropped me since I was spinning the SS at 200rpms and he was in his big ring hammering away. But I put in some macho SS moves and hopped on his wheel. He looked back and was startled as I smiled and waved…then click, click as he shifted down for a sprint. Oh boy, it was on….elbows out and I was up to 300RPMs sprinting through the finish line shoot. Sadly, I was beaten by a ½ a wheel length and we were sprinting for 6^th so I got 7^th. No podium for Chrissy.

We cleaned up, ate and off to watch Betsy race in the Pro race immediately following her single speed natz victory. Coming through on the first lap she was mighty tempted to quit but with some words of wisdom from the Director and some loving heckling from Gunnar, LB, Mike Y., and I she rode strong passing half the field for 23^rd…also on a SS!! Way to go Bunny!!! My new hero.

Observations from the day…

1. Gears or no gears?

2. I know in order to race at an “elite” level you need to have a very competitive disposition. However, yelling at, swearing at or insulting those you lap or pass is completely uncalled for. It is just bike racing. Perhaps if some took that passionate anger and focused it into some altruistic endeavors the world would be better place. Telling a 45-year-old expert women to get the F out your way is not cool. “On your left” worked for me. Yes, I may have lost 30 to 45 seconds with lappers and yes, it was mildly frustrating but screaming offensive shit at them was not going to make them move any faster; in fact, they may have even slowed out of spite. I would have. So please keep this in mind fan as you get faster and become a super macho “elite” racer: there is no need to become a complete asshole simply because you are fast on your bike because in reality what does it really matter. Sorry, enough peace-nik soapboxing.

3. Powderpuff is way tougher then all of us others on Team Bi-atch.

Results:

Gunnar: 13th mad mechanicals

Betsy: 1st SS and 23rd Pro

Chrissy: 7th

Mike Y. : 4th

Shout out and stuff:

- The Miller's

- WVMBA Homies that went to VT and made the journey back to the WV race: Morgan, LB, Matt M, Nick W., JP, Roth, Ben O. and Team Bi-atch

- our friends at VisitPa.com: they swept the podium

- Uncle Rob and Cannondale

- We wish WVMBA homie and international cycling rock star Sue H. a speedy recovery!!!

-Gerry Pflug: nice work sir

Valley Falls report will follow soon, fan.

Finally, it was great to see original Bi-Atch member, Mike Y., and his lovely wife Erika incubating Little Baby Bi-Atch!!!!

Blog Update. Post VT

2008-07-20T23:11:00.002-04:00

Chris has left HQ but he expects an update.
And I guess you do too fan.

We're all tired, exhausted, achy, groany and moany. Some more than others.

Betsy kicked major booty w/ her first National MTB Title, SS Women, and then further impressing the world by jumping in the Pro race on the same bike and finishing.
Course now she has a wrecked thumb and not-so-good-working legs.
Here she is wrestling her new jersey on-

Richard Fries was nice enough to have the SS awards last to ensure that Betsy would be able to attend since she was still out there laying waste to herself while the other Expert awards were being given.
She certainly didn't disappoint.

All I got was this from some June Bug going down in front of me-

And then Crazy Czech Clara fixing me up at Valley Falls the next day-

We did a pretty good job of wrecking the condo-

And in a great showing of good will and all that idealistic rubbish, Team Bi-atch and the WV Night Club members got to be snuggle buddies in the back of Clifford-

MABRA Elite Crit Champs: Hagerstown, MD

2008-07-16T16:00:00.000-04:00

I arrived at 3pm for the 3:15pm start. How can I be late for such a late start at a venue that is just an hour from my house? I have no clue. Perhaps I need a secretary or a life coach but mostly I just need to get my head out my butt. Oh well, that is how we at Team Bi-atch roll most of the time. My warm up consisted of a 40-foot coast to the porta potty followed by a 60 ft pedal over to the starting line.
And off we went….
I have not been in a crit in awhile so I was mostly feeling like pack fodder and in fact my only purpose for being there was to get some hard efforts in before Mt Snow, so pack fodder was just dandy. The first few laps were rough as I still had heavy legs from the Wakefield MTB training race from earlier in the week and my warm up was less then stellar. But after 15 minutes my legs came around and I started feel ok, sweet!! Move up, move up and then bang, screech, skid, a crash in front of me, ahhhh! I take the high side line around the wreck, oh boy. Ugh, I am headed right for the curb. I use my macho MTB skillz to bunny hop, ah yeh. Back wheel please come down please, endo, endo…ahh two wheels on the grass, what-what!! Yikes, there is a guy sliding on the grass next to me. He must not have the macho MTB skillz that I have. Eek, that looks like it hurt. I get some cheers as I fly down the side walk. Looking, looking, yes a wide drive way to re-enter the course. I look over my shoulder and see a few guys that got dropped missing the crash too. Sweet, Super Dave O. is leading the charge to catch the main group. Dave ain’t called super for nothing. Now fan, sometimes my A.D.D really kicks in during a race so here is a brief dialogue my pea brain had with it self for the remainder of my race…

Chris-“Wow, that Dave is strong”
Chrissy-“Ouch, I really nailed my junk during that macho MTB move”
Goose-“ That girl in the Nature Valley kit is mad cute”
Chrissy-“ Maybe I should have gone to Windham”
Chris-“I think I need to puke”
Chrissy-“I don’t have crit legs”
Goose-“This really hurts”
Chris-“Why do I do crits?”
Goose-“A climb or a rock garden would make this bridge easier”
Chrissy-“If I did not race bikes what would I be doing right now?”
Goose-“I hope Blackbear is still open when I get to Mo-town”
Chrissy-“Yummy, Sheetz”
Chris-“Oh shit, Super Dave bridged the gap”
Chrissy-“Oh shit, Super Dave bridged the gap with out me”

Two more laps and then I explored the roads of Hagerstown for an hour.

Off to Northbend for a MTB race.

Peace Goose

Think we may have missed our Tour start...

2008-07-15T23:21:00.000-04:00

Well we *were* ready.

Had all the gear and I thought Goose had told me correctly.
Look at the poor sod, this is a man that is ready for racing in Europe, Joe Parkin and Bob Roll style-

But then I just found out that the blasted thing has already started!

We were so close-

Then somehow got misdirected, zigged when we should have zagged and found ourselves somewhere else.

First we don't make it out to Tour of Kalifornia because of the bus and now this?
What will Casdorph Piano say? Cripes.

Well I'm sorry fan.
I think we've disappointed you once again.
Such is the Lyphe (Lyfe?, which do you like?).

Post-Travel Depression.

2008-07-15T22:39:00.001-04:00

I have been home for a week after being on the racing road for over three weeks. Being on the road is so simple and so easy in so many ways. Your worries on the road: race well, train if needed, ride, rest, eat and make it to the venue kinda on time. The bigger worries are, will we find vegetarian eats and will this state have a Sheetz. You tend to be frugal and "green" too, aside from the gas thing. You travel with good company while enjoying the conversations of your mates and scenery our fine nation has to offer. You become so far removed from your "other" life. Its that simple and structured life that makes the lyfe so disciplined and at times hard. I heart the lyfe.

Then you get home with some relief. But you soon get over whelmed with "real" life. The pile of junk mail and bills on the stairs, you start thinking about that girlie, you listen to the 1 voicemail you received over 3 weeks, you contact the folks and finally check out the news....ahh George Bush is still president!!! You quickly miss the simplicity of the gypsy lyfe of the racing road. You yearn for the next escape.

Alas, we are off to Vermont for 5 days. The simple and structured lyfe continues.

Da Yellow!!

2008-07-14T19:32:00.001-04:00

Well fan, our Director with all his cycling skill and knowledge has yet again sent one of his former "dirt" prodigies off to claim the Yellow Jersey. Well done sir, first Floyd and now Cadel with or with out chemicals.

Cadel Circa 1996

Gunnar Circa 1996
* note the kits and team

* also check this: http://www.spookybikes.com/news/?p=27
and some cool ass video picked out by Goose

DS note-
Take a look at those shoes!
I raced some of cross last year and some MTB this year in some of those.
Still got a few up in the attic still!

Vice!!

2008-07-11T19:44:00.001-04:00

Fan, Louisville was hard on Team Bi-atch, and sometimes during the hard times you turn to your demons, and we did.
The team picked up a few vices on the road.

Poor Gunnar took up smoking

Betsy has a thing for burritos as big as her head.

I fell in love with some morally suspect groupies.

"The road ain't no place to start a family."

Sorry fan, we aren't perfect but pretty damn close.

Non-Bike pictures from "da Tour"

2008-07-09T14:23:00.000-04:00

The South is so nice!

We chatted with the big guy!

I did have one win while on the road!

And there's always something that you need from that bag in the back... BBB.

I had a great picnic on my way back to DC.
I heart Coopers Rock!!!!!

The "da Tour" ends as we race the Muck at Lil Moe's Place

2008-07-07T23:18:00.000-04:00

The nearly three week gypsy racing road trip ended much like it started, poorly for me. This illness, lack of sleep and a few days of hard racing all added up to a blah day for poor Lil Chrissy at the Race to Lil Moe's.

But fan here is the cliff note account from me...

For the 24 hours before the race there was a torrential down pour causing the whole course to be fairly sloppy to say the least. In the dry this course would be wicked fast and fun, but in the wet, ouch. We headed off on the very sloppy prologue loop and I found myself 2nd behind Ben O. with Benji K. on a SS just behind as we entered the woods. Sweet, I am riding well and just maybe I will try to contest the overall on my SS today. I let Benji by to set the SS tempo and a few geared guys passed he and I on the first climb. I was riding well and feeling confident....
Until, I took a header which knock the wind out of me and threw my H2O bottles everywhere. Gunnar, John and LB passed as I was slow to get up. Let the chase begin. Ahh nope,well, that's it. My body shut down and lap 1 turned into a ride no race. Lap 2 I began to rally and had LB with in reach...
Until I completely unraveled, bonked, cried and walked a whole lot. I went from a minute down on LB and Johnny to over 10 on lap 3. Excellent. Lap 3 did lend itself to some entertainment. I found poor Joey R. stuck in fallen tree. That was pretty exciting and lucky for Joey as that could have been a lot worse.

Nars rallied and sweated his way to 4th overall.

Goose, wishing the race was only 1 lap.

Bunny, finishing on a flat, and apparently the only Bi-Atch still happy.

Photos and the results:
http://iplayoutside.com/Events/2008/07/10563c.html

So the gypsy tour comes to an end as I plan to head back to DC some time on Tuesday just to hit the road again Friday. I heart this lyfe!!! I am tired, achy, sore though and in need of a massage. Maybe the team needs a masseuse, yeh, try outs at my house please apply. YAY!!

On tap:
1.I was going to head to a NORBA race in NY but I ain't riding that well yet and the USAC, well you know. Maybe a crit on Saturday and then a WVMBA race at Northbend. The race is for an important cause http://www.iplayoutside.com/Events/2008/07/10566.html

2. Mt Snow MTB Nationals. I have to decide which will get me more groupies, a Single Speed stars and stripes or my age group. Please post your opinion.

3. Wilderness 101, aahh yeh!! Chris S. rocks!!!!! I did the originals as a junior in 1991,92 & 93 and it still hurts the same with these fancy bikes.

4. Some other stuff and then Georgia for the Fool's Gold 100. We are chasing NUE points now.

Shout outs and stuff:
- Thad, awesome races

- Lil Moe, whoever you are you own a great bar and thanks for letting us ride your property

Lil Moe's & Philippi is the place to be.

- Uncle Rob and Cannondale for taking care of us
- Robbie and Pathfinder for taking care of us
- JR, for finishing strong, for quitting smoking still and feeding my narcissism even more
http://www.iplayoutside.com/Events/2008/07/11142.html

JR, looking good, Buddy!!

- Team Bi-atch: Jackie, Betsy and grumpy Gunnar it was good racing and better times
- And to all that try, whether you are out to win or just the personal challenge it all hurts the same, you all ROCK!!

As always...Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard!

Until the next gypsy adventure.
Peace Chris

Very large, very scary, unidentified flying object.

Barbour de Tour and Bust

2008-07-06T13:39:00.000-04:00

Louisville came and went, so it's back on the road for an all night journey to Philippi, WV for the world famous July 4th Barbour de Tour RR (our last prep before France).
We left Louisville around 9pm, uugh, it was going to be a long night and morning. Gunnar and I switched control of the bus as July 3rd turned into July 4th and we still had 3 or more hours of driving ahead of us.

Jackie and Abe were the first to succomb to the numbing drive-

The Team had some 2am Curly fries and milk shakes somewhere just west of Charleston, and then after some more painful driving whilst listening to the Cure we finally arrived in Philippi a bit after 4am.
Ahh, but the race starts at 10am what will we ever do? Well, fan you know we are a hardy and resourceful bunch so we first drove around the town rather aimlessly for about 45 retarded minutes then finally settled down and parked the bus in the back of a Farm Fresh grocery store, hit recline on the seats and bedded down for the morning.
Reminded me of the good old days as a junior racer, all care free and dumb with no plan other then racn’ our bikes whenever and where ever.
Only none of us are young...
A few hours of shut eye would be better then nothing so off to dream land we went, Betsy, Jackie, Gunnar and I all stuffed in the front of the bus sleeping. It must have been quite the sight for the truck driver as he made the morning delivery.
Oh, I forgot to mention that there was quite the torrent of rain pounding the roof of the bus during this amazing slumber.

THE RACE, the day...
8am
The Team rose all well rested from our 2 hour morning of sleep and the spirits were high, kind of, ok not at all.

Betsy got the pleasure of having Jackie sleeping on her belly-

Yeah, no one takes pictures of me...

Betsy and I tried to stage a team revolt against racing in the rain and under such poor preparation and rest but the old wise Director calmed our mutiny with some greasy egg-Mcmuffins minus the bacon and we began getting our race faces on, gearing up, brushing our teeth at the starting line and…
10am
Off we went. We climbed out of Philippi at a rather uncomfortable pace, ouch, damn that Adam.
It was this early effort that dwindled an already small starting group down to a select few of “studs”. The Pittsburgh boys were launching attacks and riding strong. Gunnar and I were holding our own but we were both feeling a bit exhausted from all the travel and racing we had been up to.
Finally, Joe R. put in another very aggressive move which split an already small group turning it into a “stud” group and a “super-stud” group. Gunnar made the cut and then only got beat by Joe, coming in 2nd (good work sir) and also having to deal w/ some jerk that decided part way into the second lap that it would be fine for him to sit and attack the honestly working group before the fairgrounds (they later disposed of him on the final climb into town, the jerk got 4th but didn't stick around for the awards...), I did not make the “super-stud” cut coming in 8th. I was pretty happy as I have been pretty sick and rode like a complete whussy at Natz.

About three or four times he swears that he couldn't see straight-

Betsy won the women’s race, YAY!!! ( No details at the time of press for this event)

4:20pm
Back home, not many things in from the Bus, and everyone is taking naps.
Team Bi-atch hearts naps!

7pm
Off to Uncle Rob’s for some 4th celebrations.
And then some more napping!

Lil Moe’s MTB race on July 5th…stay tuned

Louisville, KY: Act III: Foiled, Again

2008-07-06T12:50:00.000-04:00

gunnar and I put up a good fight in the 70+ Mixed Tandumb race, but Cara and Andy were impressively strong and smooth and efficient. We finished second to them. Again. And were, again, the second overall mixed tandem.
We are getting better, but not quite at their level (yet!).
I gotta say I love racing and riding the tandem. gunnar does not feel quite as strongly (yet!). Thanks to Goose for his awesome pictures and for handing off bottles. And heckling. Always the heckling. And a humongous thanks to Dan for allowing us to sweat, drool, and blow copious amounts of snot all over his beautiful Cannodale tandem.

The race start was CHAOS. I thought it was over before we even got off the start line, as my bullhorn got jammed under Pete and Jane's front drop bar. We were stuck fast and it was amazing we didn't crash together.

Here we are stuck tight to the tandem to our left. Andy and Cara have left the viewing area already.

Once we got freed, we could see that Cara and Andy already had a HUGE gap and I thought we weren't even going to get to race with them. However, we and a dozen of our closest tandem friends flew down the first sketchy hill and all latched on their wheel.
gunnar and I were both surprised at how aggressive and chaotic it was. Soon enough, it was wheedled down to just 3 tandems in the front group, until the leading 90+ tandem went skittering across the road just in front of us. SCARY. The poor stoker was really beat-up, but to their credit, they rallied and still won (the 2nd place in that group also crashed, as did a couple other tandems. It was wet and slippery!!!).

I'll take the inside line, what could possibly go wrong... ?

Anyhow, gunnar will need to give his point of view about what happened shortly thereafter, but this is my POV. I was sitting back there, pedaling my little heart out, thinking we were doing really well and we might just win this, when I peered around gunnar's buttock on a hill and there was a little bitty gap between Cara and Andy and us (as in, they were ahead). CRAP! This was the ensuing conversation:

me: "gunnar, there's a gap, let's go!"
g: silence
me: after a pause, "gunnar, are you cracking?"
g: "yeah, I guess so."

Game over. Poor Nars. If the race was 35 miles instead of 50, we would have had a chance, I think. With a little better health leading up to the race and a bit more practice on the tandem, I think we could have had an exciting sprint finish. It was a darn good effort, though, and inspirational to watch Cara and Andy work together.

A hearty congratulations to Cara and Andy. Game on, for next year!

After the podium, we ate dinner with my dear Mom and Pop who had driven down to Louisville to watch us flog ourselves and to deliver our sweet little Jacqueline. THANKS for taking such good care of her, Mom and Dad!!!
Then it was off to Philippi, WV for a continuation of the stage race, the Barbour deTour, which unfortunately started in just 13 short hours...

Louisville, KY: "intermission"

2008-07-03T12:49:00.000-04:00

We are signing off fan, sorry.
Off to watch Besty and Gunnar on the Tandumb.
Hang with Betsy's folks.
Then the open road for two more races.
With no internet, AAHH!!
Act III and IV to come.
Still out of beer.

Ride hard, take chances and stay tuned!!

PEACE

Louisville, KY; The Part "thinking past Act III"

2008-07-03T12:23:00.000-04:00

Just so you know fan.

Not only do little details like whether or not we run 11/27 without the 14 or without the 12 going on, we also have the extreme logistic nightmare that will be-
July 3, 3:35pm, Tandumb Race.
* Finish race a little before 5;45pm. Attend awards. Pack up. Get something good to eat in Hipsterville/Bardstown.
* Get out of Louisville, KY around 7-8pm?
* Start driving back towards the homeland and the annual Barbour de Tour.
* Sleep where? Sleep when?
July 4, 10am, Barbour de Tour.
* Race with no or little sleep.
* Start driving home in the early afternoon sometime.
* Take naps, attend the Voorhees Gala.
* Return home, pass out.
July 5, 12pm, Race to Lil Moe's Place or St. Albans Grand Prix.
* Drive more, race more, drive more.
July 6, sleep till noon, ride somewhere to complete our Stage Race that doesn't have a name, yet.
* Pass out, fall apart, completely unravel. Multiple times I suspect.

Right now it's the calm before the storm...
And we're out of beer.

Louisville, KY: Act II " The Tragedy"

2008-07-02T20:14:00.000-04:00

This will be short but not so sweet just like my race...
Lingering illness+vomiting+Road Nationals=a very sad Chris :(

I raced like CRAP!! The highlight, me vomiting over my shoulder as we were single file at 30mph. Need I say more.

I should of stayed up in NY and visited the folks longer.
Nah, the Shogren's and I are having fun OFF the bikes in Louisville.

For many here this was the event they had been preparing for all season. Their single focus to peak for. For me I wanted to good ride but my whole season did not surround this single event. We are 30+ races in for the season with 30+ to go so that makes for a long hard season and you can not peak for them all and you certainly have to expect some disappointment from time to time. It is that disappointment that allows the wins/good rides to feel so fresh and new each time you have one. So its time to lick the wounds, time to get healthy, do some quality training, focus on Mt Snow(something that is a big focus) and the remaining NUE 100 milers.

Sad Goose out!!

But we have this first...
Barbour Detour July 4th
Hit the dirt July 5th...I miss the dirt

GO GOOSE GO!!!

2008-07-02T15:04:00.000-04:00

Make the fan proud.

And quite dicking around on your phone.
Let's get outta here and up to the course you big oof.

You're welcome Chris.
Thanks Chris's Dad!

Here we go, yes I want my visor honey.
It's really hot out yes.
We are all fretting.
Can you tell?
Am I doing a good job of relating the tension and excitement?
Ok?
Chris says we need some Slayer or Maiden... "Run to the hills, run for your life!!!"
Chris, you can switch to a lighter colored jersey. Yes you can!
Fool.
Umpteenth time...
Quite reading over my shoulder Betsy.
Betsy has her visor, she don't need more sunblock.
Yes I have a tube.
I'm signing off Bunny.
Chris is belching and going back to the potty.
This is never going to end.
Ok, I'll close the door when I poop next time. Sorry.
Are we ready yet?
Sorry kids I didn't want to turn on the light...
More critques?
"OK, let's race."
Bye-bye.
"Yes you look Pro Goose."
"Seriously, my money's on you."
"Hack-cough."
Bye-bye.

Louisville, KY; Mast. Natz Part 1.3

2008-07-02T14:22:00.000-04:00

It's 2:19pm, do you know where your Bi-atch is?

They are mostly sleeping.
Chris is seen here putting the final preparations on for his 65 mile road race this afternoon at 4pm-

Betsy is seen here after the rather strenuous morning and early afternoon spent at the Lousiville Zoo, a certain highlight of her trip for sure-

I'm just trying to get rid of a nagging headache and putting something up here for our fan-

Last night was most excellent though.
We got back to the Villa here at the Hampton. Goose and Betsy took naps-

I looked busy for a while-

Then I worked on the Tandumb, trying to figure out the best way to put an 11 tooth cog on the rear, making sure the shifting was working and generally just getting some more sun on the shoulders-

After that we all headed up on our bikes and went back up towards Cherokee Park and Bardstown Rd, where all the hipsters hang. We had spotted a little Vietnamese/Chinese Restaurant that was across from La Bamaba (Burritos as big as your head!) so we decided to bike on back up there. Goose on his single and Betsy and I on the Tandumb, NBT from here on out.
LOTS of freak watching and us commenting and then of course riding back to the Villa once it turned dark.
First we did have to take photos of the "Eddie Van", Goose has an Iron Maiden cassette he swears and I know I have a little on vinyl-

Indeed it was bearing down on 10pm by the time we got on back home, we did have to slow way down to wait up for Chris as he just can't motor like the Walddie wearing cool kids that Betsy and I are-

The rest of the evening was already done once we got to the room.
Watch some dumb TV, get sucked into a Law & Something until everyone is snoring.

Well I'd tell you more about today, but we gotta get going.
Goose is finally woken from his second nap of the day, getting his flask of whiskey and gel going, Betsy is going potty and I'm just hoping that my batteries have charged enough so I can get Chris's macho moves AND the podium captured.
Race #2 coming right up!

Louisville, KY: Road Natz Act I

2008-07-01T19:20:00.000-04:00

Fan, it has been a rough week and a half for poor little Chrissy. I have pedaled very little since Davis. I came out of that weekend sick as dog. I even had a fever for a few days, eek!! But things are looking up for us Bi-atch’s. The Director after a month seems to be healthy, Bunny had a week of crap but seems to be on the mend and I am on the road to being healthy again too. I am confident yet realistic with the three races we have coming up this week. Sickness, junk food, mega-travel and little riding can cause the body to go in to shock and awe the first race back. But I will survive and do my best. But here is the tale so far for ya fan…

Louisville, KY, here we are. It’s a fine little city. In the western part of town you have endless pawnshops and check cashing joints. I really do not think the Bush economic stimulus plan is helping or maybe that is why there are so many check cashing joints?...HHHMMM!!! To the east is Bardestown, where you have the hipster, scene-kid and southern belle part of town with all its trendy cafes, bars, restaurants and such. You know this place. Bush’s plan seems to working here. And Team Bi-atch is staying smack dab in the middle of both “hoods”. I wish I was healthier so I would be more inclined to explore, but we athletes must treat our bodies like a temple ya’ll know that. So Louisville will have to wait for my non-spandex arrival on some other trip. However, and lucky for me we have over 50 women collegiate volleyball players staying in our hotel. Ahhh, yeh!!!

The action began today with Betsy racing at the butt crack. We all rode out to the course together to lend Bunny the needed support and heckling required of Nationals. And I am happy to report young Betsy took the silver medal in what was a heroic sprint from the feather weight mountain biking climbing specialist. She kicked some roadie bootay and we Bi-atch’s are very happy for her. You are a rock star Bunny!!!!

The course looks like it will be a hoot. A twisty, turny, rolling 5 milish loop through Cherokee Park-another lovely manifestation from the Mr. Olmsted. I am excited to race there and I can only hope my poor sickly body can handle a race effort.

On tap:
1.Me, Chrissy RR Wednesday at 4pm
2.Betsy and Gunnar Tandumb RR Thursday 3:35
3.PBR
4. we head north east for a road race on the 4th and a MTB race on the 5th

Then I may head back to DC or stay in WV for a week. I may head to NY for a USAC race or I may race in WV. Who knows, who cares…it’s the lyfe right?

Quit hitting F5!

2008-07-01T17:13:00.000-04:00

Don't think that repeatedly hitting the refresh button will make the updates come any sooner.
Don't think that we have may updated within the last 5 minutes.

We are in Louisville, KY.
We have been making statements.
We have been crashing out in our now crashed hotel room (sorry fan, we can't give out the home number that we're in at the Hampton Inn Downtown, I will tell you that we're on the floor of the first integer after one that when square rooted returns another integer, and it's to the right of the elevator when you exit said very quick elevator).

Anyway.
Goose and PowderPuff are busy laying around and I just got up. So please relax and check your meds.
Thanx.

Real soon I promise something else.

ILLNESS BE GONE...

2008-06-27T11:01:00.000-04:00

...I am a simple man with simple needs so that's all I am asking, please!

How we gonna race well feeling like this? Ugh...

It is going to be a long week on the road! Fan, do you have any magic cures for a sickly squad? The Stars and Stripes looks questionable now. I blame the Director for this!!!

Ahh, and we need to be in France soon. This does not look good at all!! What possibly could go wrong?

Feeling like ass but having a blast in Davis,WV

2008-06-25T11:27:00.000-04:00

For the fan, whom likes to analysis our races and courses and such.
Tucker County Slug Fest Road Race
WV State Champs, Blackwater Death Marsh

The first weekend of the “pro-lyfe” two months ended with mixed results. For me it would be a mix of poor body, poor decisions and then pulling off a pretty good ride out of my butt. More to come on those butt issues. Here is the tale, fan….
SATURDAY…racn’
The Tour De Tucker County West Virginia (RR): Fan, if you have never been to Davis, WV to ride you are truly missing out on one of the most beautiful but ass kicking places to ride on the east coast. Whether you prefer the dirt or the road I suggest you make the trip. Ok, enough PR and back to the race report. Betsy, Jackie, Gunnar and I headed out from Morgantown to actually arrive on time, amazing as that never happens. We began to climb the mountain up to the wind mills where Gunnar insisted the start was but no one was there. We were not that early, ooops, luckily we saw Nick W., a local and who clearly pays more attention to things so we followed him up the right mountain to get ready for this 50milish road race which included a boat load of climbing.

Race start-- GORGEOUS!!

Now I never mentioned it to the Director but I was actually contemplating sitting this one out. I felt extremely run down all week, my legs were sore to the touch and my HR was 10-15 beats higher then normal. But it was JR’s race, I did not want to hear the Director b*tch and I have raced before feeling like sh*t and ended up doing well so I figured why not. I knew however, as soon as we headed down the 4 mile descent to the starting line that I had made the wrong decision. I felt highly uncomfortable on the bike, my legs ached, I had a funky clammy sweat thing going on and I generally had little motivation. The Mohican and 24 Hours sapped a lot out of us, ok me.

TP,anyone?

Well off we went, it was a small field but with some heavy hitters. Sometimes on days you feel like crap you can often hide in the field but on this day I would be completely exposed to whatever was out there. Instantly it felt like I was paddling up stream with only a spoon. My breathing was labored, the legs felt like planks and I still was sweating some weird clammy sh*t. I made it up the first 4 mile climb but I knew the day was not going well, I felt like ass. We hit the second climb when Nick W. and Russ L. turned in the screws a little. It was at this moment I had to decide, jump on and bury myself for the weekend or sit up and enjoy the views. What to do, what to do? Well, I felt it would be most prudent and wise of me to sit up. I have a hard 2 months ahead of me and burying myself on this day made little sense as it could send me into the over trained abyss that is so hard to dig out of. I rode in alone and easy until the last 5 mile climb. There was no easy way to get up that thing. Gunnar had a good ride coming in 4th and Betsy won the ladies race and “girled” many boys including me. Good job team. I am bummed that I DNF’d, I would have preferred to be DFL but I think I made the right choice. The course and scenery were outstanding. Looking forward to next year.

gunnar after climbing nearly 7000 feet in 54 miles, with our Malaysian friend Larry in the background

SATURDAY NIGHT… gonna party like its your birthday…go shorty…what..
Speaking of right choices, Saturday night would be filled with plenty of wrong post/pre-race choices. See, fan, I took a 6-7 year hiatus from racing and I have made my return to racing this year on the single-speed. Now many know me from before as a West Virgin’eer kid but many that don’t think I am just another uptight roadie from DC that happens to know and travel with the Shogren’s. Well it is true I road race and I do live in DC now but I am far from uptight and my heart is still in the mountains. Also, fan, the single speed world is a sub-culture with in the sub-culture that is the cycling world: an iconoclastic bunch, that party harder, get rowdier and take themselves perhaps a little less serious, yet most of the top SS kids are some of the fastest out on the course. Why am I telling you this? …Well, the WV night club crew ( SS kids) were determined to take me out for a drink or ten on this night. Now after such a shitty road race I really did not feel like going out but I figured hey a few beers and home by midnight won’t be that bad, right? That’s what SS kids do.

WV Nightclub, plus poor Goose

So Johnny M, Chris P, Andy W ( 24HRS teammate), LB, Young Morgan M (WV29’er teammate) and I left the cabin we were all sharing for the booming metropolis of Davis and Thomas, WV. (The Shogren’s stayed behind) to hit The Purplefiddle for a reggae show. This place is pretty freaking cool. It was packed with some amazing people that felt shoes were to be the exception and hugs the rule. With the exception of wearing shoes I felt at home in this place, a little mountain oasis. I kept the drinking to a minimum and still believed I would be back at the cabin by midnight which would give me plenty of sleep for the 1pm start. The band was pretty kick ass. I wanted to get on the dance floor but rule # 37 in the pro-lyfe manual clearly states to stay off your feet any time you can (refer to Cycling-Dumb for a copy) so I did, however, the last song did require some booty shaking as the cute hippy girls were plentiful and their invitations to dance were to pleasant to pass up. If you ever find yourself in Thomas, WV…good people….
Check out: http://www.purplefiddle.com/
Ahh, it was mid-night and back in the car with young non-drinking Morgan M. behind the wheel. There was some talk about heading to another bar but it seemed as though every one was pretty ready to start thinking like bike racers again…until….the drummer from the reggae band a Rasta dude from Florida jumped in the back of the car, offered us a swig of whiskey and some other things for a ride up to the other bar. The crew got rowdy and agreed to his request. At this point I decided to embrace the night for what it was and to worry about racing later. It is about the ride not the result sometimes so I took a swig of whiskey and off to the next bar we went. We shared some drinks and chatted up some folks until the nice young lady from behind the bar yelled last call, ugh 2am. The boys ordered another round and I found myself on stage with the normally subdued Andy W. playing guitar while singing Jack Johnson and others tones. Boy did the hippie girls eat that up. I should have been a rock star!! Back to the cabin by 2:45am and in bed by 3am a perfect way to spend a pre-race evening. No regrets though, it was a great time, in some rad places, with some cool peep’s.
SUNDAY…a hung over race day
BLACKWATER BIKES WV STATE CHAMPS(Davis,Wv)
Needless to say I felt like ass while I was lining up with Sue H. to my left and Jeremiah B to my right, perfect, two Olympic hopefuls and I smell and feel like a wino, so pro, oh well. Well not surprising too, I was having all sorts of stomach issues mixed with all the same shitty feelings I had lining up for the road race on the previous day. I was not very hopeful with what the day was going to bring. Now this was the State champs so everyone from WV brought their A game. I am no longer a WV resident and unable to contend the state champ crown so I brought my B game but drank myself into D game status. My hopes for a good ride had diminished in a Rasta’s whiskey bottle the night before. My only goal for the day was to beat LB so I could regain the lead in the points as the overall is my goal and every thing else would be gravy. The State Champs was not my goal nor could I have it.
Time to get popping and off to the mud bogs….
We were off and running and I found myself in around 10th place as we began to hit the first of what would be hundreds of mud bogs, lakes, deadly water holes and the like. I was 2nd within the SS kids and my WV29’er Cannondale teammate Robbie Loehr was leading us, go Robbie. Much to my surprise I was riding well, say A- game. Sweet, I was pounding the pedals and I found myself slipping away with the leaders. Wow, I can party like a rock-star and still ride well (perhaps a new cycle-dumb training plan?) cool. I won’t try this again though. I did fall into a water hole and was completely submerged from head to toe. It was refreshing but a little scary too. I went back and fourth with Joey R. all day and I think I “scharted” twice luckily it was so wet and muddy no evidence was left. I rode hard and I was in the pain box all day. It was a good day. Oh, and I came in ahead of the WV nightclub crew that tried to sabotage my race with the drink. I think I earned my stripes, boyz.
Betsy 2nd (no smiles either--soul was crushed)
Gunnar 8th p/ex (off day for the Director)
Me, Chrissy 2nd SS 8th overall
…and we all are in 1st in points again, yippee!!

Tired-looking-Nars

Man, that Blackwater is tough. I rode here for the first time in 1996 on a 30+ pound steel Paramount on suspension with about 1 inch of travel. We had cantilevers back then that lasted for about one mud bog. It was tough back then. We all ride sub 20 pound rides now with killer brakes and suspension yet that Blackwater can still kick your ass and it did. An epic in its truest form. Thanks Roger and Matt (Blackwater Bikes)--you put on a crusher.

Shoutouts and stuff:
- To my 29er Cannondale teammates that won the WV state champs in their respective classes: Robbie Loehr SS Champ, Matt Marcus Masters Champ, Jason Cyr Vet Champ and Betsy 1st pr/ex women. You all rock!!
- Roger and Matt of Blackwater Bikes for putting on an epic and allowing to us to loiter in the yard after the race until 9pm
- JR for putting on a kick ass road race and for quitting smoking, ehhmm!!!
- Uncle Rob V. and Cannondale
- The Miller’s and Phillip’s for letting us stay at the killer chateau
- The WV night club crew: good times and good racn’
- Betsy, Jackie and Gunnar
- To all that raced it was an epic and whether you are Olympic bound or out for the first time it was truly an epic for everyone…Good work!!!!

Happy Birthday Dr. Miller, DDS

I went into the weekend a little sick and came out sick which makes a perfect time for some R&R in NY at ma and pa McGill’s house, I may pedal some. Then off to OH for some crits and then KY for Road Nationals. As the lyfe continues…..
Results and pictures:
iPlayOutside Blackwater

Ride hard, take risk but be nice!!!! Peace Chrissy

Goose looks tired. Here he is bonking while trying to help Nars work on HIS bike. What a help...

Ahhh…and the Supreme Court dropped the ball on the Exxon Valdez case….idiots! back to the revolution comrades!!!!!

A labour of love, a passion for lyfe...

2008-06-20T12:20:00.000-04:00

The Team Bi-atch gypsies are off and running for a whirlwind “Pro-lyfe” tour. Here is our itinerary for our FAN.
June 21-22: Double Header in Davis, WV. Davis is one of the sweetest places to ride but it can bite ya if you’re not careful(last year I napped on the “moon-rocks” for 30 minutes after blowing up sky high)
Saturday: What is slated to be a brutal 60+ mile road race.
http://www.iplayoutside.com/Events/2008/06/10764.html
Sunday: Blackwater Bikes WV MTB State Champs
http://www.iplayoutside.com/Events/2008/06/10565.html
Then…
I will run solo up to NY to visit the family and race Tuesday night.
Then…
June 28-29 Ohio
Back to WV to meet up with the Bi-atch’s (Betsy, Jackie and Gunnar) and we are off to OH for a couple of crit’s. While in OH we will be putting on our Sunday’s best for a Betsy family function (Don’t worry Bunny, I own nice cloths and clean up well when I need to. I am the pretty boy on the squad). Yet again I am the third wheel.
Then...
July 1-3 Road Nationals in Louisville, KY.
Betsy and I will compete in our respective age group for the road Nats (“stars and stripes”, yipee) on Wednesday. Followed by Gunnar and Betsy raging on the Tandumb on Thursday.
Then…
We hit the bars in Louisville rocking our stars and stripes jersey’s before hopping in the bus to drive all night.
July 4th Barbour Detour RR in some-where, WV
July 5th The Director Sportiff and I arm wrestle to decide whether we RR or MTB race. I will win so we will MTB race http://www.iplayoutside.com/Events/?eid=2008/07/10563.html
Then…
I head back to DC to wash my undies and chamois. Ahh, a bed!!
Then..
Windham(NY), Mt. Snow(VT), Wilderness101(PA), Fool's Gold100(GA), Shen100(VA)…ahhh… then its September and time for cross, UUGGHH.
And mom wonders why I do not have a girlfriend.
The report's may be scarce in the coming weeks due to our schedule but fan do not worry we will report. And if your in the DC area hit the Avett Brothers show Friday and get me a Tee. Sorry I have to miss it.

Ride hard, take risk but be safe and kind!!

Appalachian Classic

2008-06-18T18:42:00.001-04:00

We headed to the Appalachian or Appalachain Classic this past weekend. I certainly was in need of a less stressful weekend of racing. The Mohican and the 24 Hours were both physically and mentally taxing so this bus-casual race weekend was perfect. The weekend was to include a TT, short track, bike polo, Weedhawks, X-country, lake jumping and hanging out with excellent people. Chrissy’s tale for our fan…

Friday…
I was slated to leave DC around 2pm but I decided to update my Ipod and generally dick around so I hit the road at the height of rush hour, brilliant. I got to Mo-town around 9pm and before I could even shut off the van Gunnar had us riding the short track course across the way. With out lights and complete unfamiliarity with the course I slammed my head on a low hanging branch propelling myself in reverse through the air. Dug some bark out of the skull and continued, ugh!! We grabbed some Broccoli and tofu from the take out joint, watched an artsy Portishead video, drank some cold beer and hit the sack.

Saturday…
TT:Gunnar and I left Morgantown around noon for the 2.5 hour drive to No-where, WV. We needed to be there around 1:30 for the TT. Do the math! We would be meeting Betsy and her folks there…and we had Betsy’s bike…oops!We arrived fashionably late, 2:05ish. Betsy was geared up along with every one else. I decided the night before to skip the TT(tired) and Gunnar is sickly so he too decided to save it for the short track. As spectator’s we heckled. It was a good TT.

Our TT

Bike polo: I did not play but some really large out of control polo playing guy almost killed Jason C, Nick W and I as we spectated. He landed on me causing me to tumble down the hill. I quickly left the polo match for a nap. That shit is dangerous.

Short Track: Let me begin by saying short track racing hurts. It hurts even more on a single speed. Well, pain was dished out in large doses. I decided it would be smart to jump on Jeremiah (Bishop) and Nick’s (Waite) wheels for a few laps. I was holding my own but man the top section was tough with only one gear. They could shift and recover from the climb while I spun to hold their wheel at 2billion RPM’s. I finally had to say uncle so I kind of sat up or kind of blew up and waited for Gunnar, Joey (Riddle) and Aaron(LB). The four of us rode hard together but we had some laughs too. Eventually, Gunnar and I pulled away. We worked together trying to bring Nick back unsuccessfully. I finally got “geared” again as Gunnar made a move that I was not able to go with. He may of caught Nick, hhmm. In the end Jeremiah kicked our asses but it was fun.

Betsy "girled" all the boys

Weedhawks: Some wacky comedic Blue grass. I recommend the “The Metalica Cliff Burton Acid trip song”, hilarious!!! We were entertained and shared some beer. A jolly mountain man offered us some “mountain wine”. I think that was code for moon shine with some grape flavoring. Holy shit was that strong. I think I may have grown chest hair.

Then off to bed for a hot and humid sleepless night in the tent.

Sunday....

X-country….
The weekend brought some east coast heavy hitters: Jeremiah B, Nick W, Davey “I race in jeans” Walker, Ben O, Sue H. and all the usual suspects that make WV racing so hard and fast weekend after weekend, year after year.

5,4,3,2,1…go…I hit the woods in 6-7^th . I got around that shady character Johnny Martin putting myself in 1^st within the single speed kids & 6-7^th overall. Joey Riddle chose to race SS and he caught me near the end of lap 1. I planned to hang with him for a while but I found myself with a gap so….I kept going. I was having a few bike difficulties through out the day too: damn mechanical brake fade, my chain fell off at least 10 times and the freewheel on my (ok the Shogren’s) race wheel is close to exploding. As I was putting my chain on once again that funny, crazy and shady Johnny M (also racing SS) got by me, ugh. I kept him in sight through the single track which is no small feet as that Johnny can ride his bike well. Just after we entered the 3^rd and last lap I jumped on the wheel of Andy G. who has gears and we bridged up to Johnny and Jeremy Rowland. I took the lead wheel and turned in the screws. I spent a lot of time in the “pain box” on that final lap but I was able to get away from Johnny while Jeremy kept me on task.

It was a fun race, bumping elbow’s with Joey and Johnny for 1^st for the race within the race, single speed class and pressing the pedals with the boys in the top 5 overall too. I was with Gunnar for a while as well and that is always cool. We have a good time heckling one another but I also like to keep him honest. In the end….

Betsy 2^{nd X-country & 1st Short Track and "girled" all the boys}

Gunnar 6^th overall

Me, Chris 1^st SS and 7^th overall

Full results:

http://www.iplayoutside.com/Events/?eid=2008/06/10564r.html

Shout outs and miscellaneous:

- JR for putting on a kick ass event.
- The Baltimore crew (Chris, Amanda and Thomas) that shared camping space with us.It was their first race experience. I think they enjoyed the hanging out festivities more then the racing but I think they will return.
- Betsy’s parents for hanging out and cheering louder then all others.

Things learned:

And...

Joey was eaten by JR

Coming soon 8 races in three weeks, ouch!! Anyone want to sublet my DC apartment?

As always...
Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard!